You and Me, Got That?
by SuperFanWeirdo
Summary: The two have always been inseparable; bestfriends from day one and finally falling in love. But then Tobias leaves and disaster falls upon Tris—and Tris alone. When she runs to Dauntless, she's met new and old friends. Tris tries to figure out her mind, the mysterious death of her parents, and the sudden Factionless increase in crime all while trying to survive her Divergence.
1. The Beginning To The Beginning

Okay, this is my first fanfiction so be gentle. I'm open to suggestions and stuff like that. Plz review and tell me what you think!

 **So I decided to edit my first chapter and hopefully made it better. Even though I thought about keeping it to show my progress, I ultimately decided to fix all the mistakes and stuff. I might do this for other chapters, idk. Hope you enjoy this edited mess!**

* * *

Tris(POV)

"What?" I say with shock. He looks at me with complete seriousness.

"I'm staying here." He says a bit slower.

"No, you're not!" I say with as much authority as I can muster,"You can't stay here Toby. You can't. The beatings will only escalate. What do you expect me to do if I find you dead, Tobias Eaton?" I try my best not lose myself to any emotion trying to take me. But this is my Tobias. I mean, he just told me he loved me a few days ago. And I love him too, enough to tell him to choose a different faction. Which is punishable by death.

"I'm not going to leave you here, Bea. It's not safe." He argues.

"It's more dangerous for you," I murmur. My hand crawls up my belly to rest on my heart and the tips of my fingers dig into me, the mixture of fear and anger pushing them deeper into my chest. "No one cares about a harmless little Stiff anyways." I look around the meadow, checking for the thousandth time to see if there's anyone eavesdropping.

"I do, I care. And I'm not leaving." He says grabbing my hand from my chest and crossing our fingers together.

I yank my hand away and point it at his face like I'm scolding him. "You better leave. He will end you within a second." I say in a low yet angry tone. My voice softens and I murmur, "Toby please leave, I promise I will follow you. Anywhere! Hell, I'll go to Erudite for God's sake as long as you don't stay here."

I don't care about who could be listening at this point. He needs to understand that if he stays, then he will always be in Marcus's grasp. Always under his control. I don't want him to be haunted by that monster every time he leaves his house. I know his abuse will always be in the back of his mind and it will always pick at him, but staying here will make it worse. He needs to leave this place behind. Even if that means leaving me behind, too.

I can't take it, with the anger and fear and anxiety, I break down. My knees hit the damp grass and my hands raise to my face. I try to suppress my crying sounds and exceed to some extent, but then I feel a pair of long arms wrap around me and my quiet whimpering turns into loud sobs. I hug him back because I need him. Even though he is the one who is making me cry, I want him to hold me tighter and tighter until there is nothing left to hold. No one else can hold me like this considering Abnegation's boundaries, and I wouldn't want anyone else besides him anyways.

"Please don't stay. I love you. But you're being an idiot." I mumble. I want to help him and I also need him to listen to me just this once. He hesitates for a long time but then I think of something that has to get him to leave. I take a deep breath and hold it for a second. Will he take the chance on risking a bluff...will he even think it's a bluff? Is it a bluff? I don't know. Just say it. I think to myself.

"If you stay," I breathe against his neck," then I'll leave. That's...that's a promise." I suck in another breath and hold it once more. My throat is sore from my sobbing and yelling so my words come out a little scratchy but I keep myself together and hold it in. I've never broken a promise, ever. I realize that I can never take that promise back and I'm dead serious. It would kill me, but I will leave if he stays...won't I? I mean, I promised. I promised I would but, would I give in or ignore my feelings and be a man of my word? God, what did I just do to myself?

Immediately, I feel his arms tighten around my small body. He bends over until his head digs into my neck. I can tell he is thinking about this really hard.

"God, I hate you." He sighs. "I'll go if you promise me something. You never break your freaking promises."

"Anything," I say. I release my breath and smile slightly. I pull away to look him in those gorgeous blues.

"You have to promise me that you won't open your mouth every time you get threatened. And that you won't be reckless." He says with a slight chuckle. He pulls back and looks at me with a look that says he's serious but a smile that says otherwise. I watch as he looks up and around the little meadow we sit in. After he mentally confirms no one is watching us, he gently holds my face in both hands looks me right in the eyes, waiting for an answer. I just simply nod and muster up a small smile. He returns it and wipes away a few remaining tears with his thumb. I start to laugh a little because he's squishing my cheeks together, causing me to make a fish like face. I grab his hands and throw them down, my laughter slowly dying into a quiet chuckle. He, again, grabs my face with both of his hands and puts his forehead to mine, closes his eyes, and whispers "I love you, Beatrice."

I close mine as well and respond in a small voice, "I love you too, Tobias." And I mean it, I honestly do. He is everything to me. I hope he makes it wherever he goes. I mean, it's possible to get kicked out of any faction and become factionless. Tobias can get mad very easily. And sometimes, when it's really bad, he for the life of him can't control his temper. It's gotten worse over the years as he's gotten stronger and it's still pretty hard for him to keep his mouth shut. It's what sometimes gets him beat.

"You should probably go, don't want to make Marcus mad the night before Choosing Day."

"Five more minutes." He begs. "He won't leave any physical evidence. Too risky." I open my eyes to find that his are still closed. His forehead feels good against my own.

"Ugh...you're so needy," I laugh out, "We can't stay here for much longer. They'll figure out we're not on our rounds." Every week we go around and give Factionless food. Our bags full of fruit are literally five feet away. "Walk me home?"

"Okay," Is all he says before he lifts me up and spins around. I squeal with laughter and start yelling at him to stop. Of course he doesn't take me seriously because of my laughing, but I didn't really mean it either. He slows, sets me down, and stares at me. But this is a stare I've never seen before. It is, however, a look that I like. Mostly because I kind of feel that it's a look he's reserved for only me.

"What?" I ask curiously. I want to know what this look is for because I'm not a 100% sure. He just leans down and does the unexpected, he kisses me. Due to my extreme inexperience with intimacy—kissing in particular—I freeze. He starts to pull away, but I grab his face and hold him to me. His arms wrap around my waist and he pulls me closer than I thought we could go. This is a new feeling that makes me feel so different. He leans back way too soon and looks surprised at himself. My face must show surprise as well from his embarrassed look. His warm arms leave from their original position, sending a shiver down my back from the sudden burst of cold.

"I'm..I'm sorry, I—" He starts. But before he can finish, I put one finger to his mouth to silence him. He looks at the ground. My hand falls and I shake my head, roll my eyes, and smile a closed mouth grin. I smile because of how amazingly cute this is. I let my head fall to the side and I look for his eyes, trying to meet them. The palms of my hands rest on his cheeks and slide forward until my fingers are in his hair and my thumbs rest in front of his ears. I slowly lift his head to look at me but his eyes look everywhere but mine.

"Hey," I say in a soft, sweet voice. He finally looks up at me. I sigh dramatically and pull his mouth to mine. He hesitates for a second, but then I feel the warmth of his arms wrap around me again and hold me there. The feeling that flies through me is different and scary, but the giddiness erases everything negative. Even though this is my first kiss, I can tell that this is the best I'll ever have. This is all it takes for me to realize that maybe, just maybe, we can work. I'm not an expert on love, but nobody else can make me feel this way. We've been best friends since I was born and we're inseparable. We spend all of our time together and tell each other everything. We can always tell when the other needs to talk or needs a hug or just needs the other in general. Sometimes, we don't even talk, all we do is go out to the meadow that's a mile close to Amity and lay there. We lay in opposite directions, I always have my feet pointing towards the city and he always lays with his feet facing Amity, but our heads are always right next to each other.

We stop with the need for air and I hug him. I don't know why I hug him, I just do. With my head against his chest, I can hear his quick heartbeat. He squeezes me tightly, but then they're gone. For a second I'm confused, but then he puts his arms around my rib cage and lifts me up so that we're eye level. That's actually saying a lot due to the fact that he's a whole foot and a half taller than me. I hug his head to mine, our cheeks squishing together.

He gently sets me down after a few minutes and we begin to walk towards the Abnegation Sector. Such a scrawny thing Tobias is. Wiry and long limbs, yet so strong. I grab his hand and as I pull him along, I begin to get lost in memory.

* * *

I was 13 and he was 14. All factions gave Abnegation members a hard time, but this one Erudite in particular had been bullying me for a while and I didn't tell Tobias how bad it had gotten. One day he had backhanded me behind the school and Tobias saw. He was furious. The Erudite boy had just pinned me to the wall by the collar of my dress when Tobias threw him off of me and picked me up from the ground.

"Oh God Bea," he said examining my face. He had one hand on the top of my head so I would hold still and his other hand under my chin. I whipped my head to the side so he wouldn't see the giant red mark that was forming, but he already had.

"I had it under control, I'm fine," I said frustrated.

"Under control? You call this under control, Bea?" He said grabbing my face again and turning it so he could see the now growing bruise. I angrily slapped his hand away.

"Awww...how cute," the Erudite said, "I didn't know you could go so deep, Tobias Eaton. You got a good one there, Beatrice. Or do you prefer Bea?" He stood up and dusted himself off, looking Tobias over.

"You don't get to call her that. Touch her again and your bruise will be worse than hers." Tobias said moving in front of me.

"I'd like to see you try, Stiff," the boy said moving closer to Tobias. I moved out from behind Tobias and pushed in between them.

"Just leave us alone," I said looking at the boy.

"Shut up!" he snapped, raising his hand to hit me again. This infuriated Tobias more, and he tackled him without hesitation. Both started to punch each other in various places, grunting and yelling. I just stood there, screaming at them to stop.

I saw a little figure running after us and realized too late that it was a teacher. He ran up to Tobias, pulled him off of the boy and took them both to the office. Mrs. Smith, the science teacher, came up to me and asked what happened. I told her the truth and she sent me home, but I didn't go home. I sat outside the front of the school on the steps and waited for Tobias. I eventually saw Marcus, Tobias's father, go into the school. At the time I didn't know that he abused Tobias, I just thought he was a strict father. He came out tightly gripping Tobias's arm dragging him away. I stood up and looked Tobias straight in the eyes. He smiled a weak, closed mouth smile as they turned the corner to go to their house. I had already thought about sneaking into Tobias's window and talk to him about what happened, but I was definitely going to do it now. That night when everybody was asleep, I snuck over to his house and crawled through the large window. That's how I found out about the abuse. I've taken care of him ever since. I sneak into his house every few days to see if he's okay. If he isn't, I pour rubbing alcohol into his wounds and wrap his back. He normally heals within a day or two. Sometimes, I spend the night. But that only happens once in a blue moon.

* * *

Tobias has always been so protective of me and sometimes takes it too far.

I snap back to the present when Tobias asks, "What are you thinking about?" It takes me a moment to find where we are. We are only a few blocks away from my house, which explains why Tobias isn't holding my hand anymore. It would be a disgrace to the faction if they saw me and Tobias showing affection publicly, especially this young. I, of course, don't give a damn about what this faction thinks. But if Marcus found out, Tobias could get seriously hurt.

"Nothing," I say.

"Come on Bea. Just spit it out." He smiles.

"Really, it's nothing. I was just thinking about the time when you beat the crap out of that Erudite boy wh-"

"Eric?" He interrupts.

"Yeah, I think that was his name. When he was bullying me? I remember you how livid you got when you saw him hit me." I murmur, keeping my voice low from the other Abnegation. I feel him tense a little and notice his hands flex into fists until they stay there. After three seconds, his knuckles start to turn white. I step in front of him and turn so I face his chest. I look up to meet his glare. "You can't still be mad about that," I say disbelievingly.

"Actually yes, I am. He had no right to hurt you. He left a bruise on your face that didn't go away for a week! He deserved what he got." He responds with a touch of frustration in his voice.

"Tobias, it was two years ago. You shouldn't be reacting like this."

He pushes past me. "Like I said, he deserved what he got."

"Did you? All he got was a beating from a 14-year-old and a slap on the wrist. Only you got hurt from protecting me..." My words trail off as my mind trails as well. "Tobias, why did you help if you knew all you'd get was a beating?" I ask. He visibly relaxes and looks me in the eyes.

"I hate when you do this. I was helping my best friend." He huffs out like it's obvious.

"Best friends are replaceable,"

"I disagree with that wholeheartedly. But even if that's true, your not."

"Fine, best friends AREN'T replaceable. But girlfriends are. Therefore I a-" I'm cut off by Tobias's lips against mine. I push him away and look around. There are at least ten to fifteen people around us. I stare at him in shock that he would kiss me in front of everybody, surely he knew they were here.

"What are you doing?!" I whisper in shock.

"Getting you to stop talking. I love you, Bea. And you're not just another girl. I will wait for you, you know that right? Another little something that caught my attention," he clears his throat, "Did I hear you just call yourself my girlfriend?" He asks a playful smile appearing.

I feel my face get hot and look everywhere but his eyes. "I mean, what do you think I am to you? A friend with benefits? I'd like to think I'm a little more than that..." I finally lift my head to meet his eyes and he still has that dumb smile on his face. "Toby, all I'm saying is that there are going to be girls where you're going, pretty girls and I wouldn't be surprised if you found a girl that you liked or—" I'm interrupted again by Tobias slapping his hand over my mouth.

"Bea?" He asks.

"What?" I say with an emotionless, muffled voice.

"Shut up. You're pretty, why would I like another girl? You're amazing and an idiot who can't keep her mouth shut, but your smart. And...never mind, I don't know where I was going with that. All I'm trying to get at is that I want you, not somebody else. And yes, I've decided that I'm going to think of you as my girlfriend. " He takes his hand away and starts walking.

"I'm not pretty..." I mumble. His head whips around and he stares at me. Damn it, he heard me. I mentally punch myself in the face.

He walks back to me and gets his face real close to mine and whispers, "You're right, you're not pretty," For a second, it stings that he agrees with me. "You're beautiful." He says then starts walking away again. A flush of relief fills me.

He is so stubborn it hurts. I know he'll find another girl. He has to. He deserves so much better than me. I'm just a girlfriend, a first kiss, a first 'I love you'.

Tobias is still pretty far ahead of me when a hand slams over my mouth again and an arm goes around my waist pulling me backward. I am slammed against the back of a house and as the wind gets knocked out of my lungs. My attacker grabs both my wrists, lifts them above my head, and shoves them against the wall. It's all fuzzy for a second before I can see straight and when I do, I shiver. A woman, Factionless from the mix of colors and lack of quality in her clothes, stands over me. From her nose down is covered with cloth. All I can see is olive skin, black curly hair that is covered with a grey tint, and black eyes. All the features I can see are harsh and sharp. She's strong, and I'm not surprised from the way she towers over me. The woman searches my eyes.

"Who are you to him?!" She growls at me.

"What?" I ask breathless, too confused to do anything else.

"WHO ARE YOU TO HIM?!" She screams. But she realizes she screamed too loud. Before I can try to make any kind of sound, she then raises a fist and punches my temple. I fall to the ground and my arms wrap around my head to soothe the newfound ache. She kicks me countless times in the stomach. Suddenly, I feel a sharp pain in my neck that radiates throughout. I open my eyes and turn my head slightly to see a giant glass syringe resting on the grass. My hand goes from my head to my neck and my fingers cover the spot where the pain is radiating from. A panic sets in when I realize the world slowing down. I try to push myself up, but she pelts me with what can only be a rock. I see the rock fall next to my face, then I hear fading footsteps. Quickly and very painfully, consciousness leaves my body.

Tobias(POV)

"WHO ARE YOU TO HIM?!" The question echoes through the street and I turn to see where it came from only to notice a particular brunette not with me. What did she do this time? Where is she?

"Beatrice?" I call out, only to receive nothing. "Beatrice, if you plan to scare me, the payback will be hell." I walk down the rows of houses but see nothing. Even though I'm not worried, I begin to run.

When I reach a big gap in between two houses, I find her lying on the ground with a syringe in her neck. "Hey!" I yell. The figure over her turns quickly, frozen there. It's a woman. A tall woman. She takes off sprinting towards the woods and leaves a lifeless body on the ground. I contemplate running after her, but decide against it and drop next to the body on the ground.

I begin to shake her and call her name. "Bea? Bea wake up! Come on!"

No response. I look around to find something, anything. Instead, I find the empty syringe. What did she inject her with?

Okay, Tobias, get your head together and gather your thoughts. If she were in the situation you're in, what would she do? She would know. She has the best solutions and has always reacted calmly. What would Bea do, what would Bea do?

She would take you to her house.

I don't know if it's right, but it's the best idea I've got. I slide one arm under her knees and my other under her shoulders. When I stand up, her arm falls over the side and lifelessly dangles down. As I run, her hanging arm swings side to side and hits my leg.

I finally reach her house and bang on the door with my foot. Come on Natalie, be home. The door slowly creates open, and Natalie peaks through the crack. She instantly relaxes when she sees me and opens the door all the way, but then tenses when she notices her daughter's lifeless body in my arms

"Oh God, what happened?" She says in a tone that is furious and worried and calm.

"I don't know, one minute I was walking her home, the next, she isn't with me. I'll explain everything later, but right now I need help with this. I don't know what to do." I know I say that too frantic because she slaps me. She doesn't do it hard enough to hurt, but hard enough to get my attention.

"Tobias, calm yourself. She's going to be fine. Let's just do what we can for now. Lay her on the couch and go get a doctor!"

"From where?"

"Find one." She growls.

It takes only 2 long strides for me to reach the couch. I slowly lower her down to the soft cushions and sprint out, nearly breaking off the screen door in my haste. I honestly don't know where to go. What faction would have the best doctors? Which would help me? Should I go to the hospital wing of Erudite? Even though they aren't really fond of us, would they still help? I don't know any Abnegation with a medical history. The closest thing I have to a doctor is Bea. Candor? No. Not even going to try. I highly doubt Dauntless has any good doctors and they're too far away for me to try. It would take me at least 30 minutes, and even 30 is cutting it close. Amity is even further and it would take me about an hour, maybe 45 minutes if I sprinted all the way there.

I stop in the Square, one of the busiest parts in the city. All I can think to do is to just ask around here and hopefully hit gold. I stop person after person, asking if they know anybody with even the slightest bit of medical experience. But the only response I get is Erudite. I basically scream in frustration and start running towards the center of the city. The tall building comes into view when I'm only a few blocks away and the crystal clear glass sparkles brightly in the sun.

I run up to the first Erudite I see and frantically say, "Excuse me, do you know any doctors or anyone with medical experience?!" My hands shake and I breathe heavy, waiting for her to respond. She looks slightly frightened by my sudden demand for answers.

She takes a deep breath and says, "Go to the top floor of Erudite Headquarters, ask for my brother, Will, and say Cara sent you. He will help you out from there. Is everything alright?"

"Thank you!" I yell over my shoulder as I run into the tall, shiny building.

I follow her instructions and go to the top floor. As the glass elevator moves up, I look out the window and feel my stomach drop. Why the hell did it have to be glass? I am not a fan of heights. I turn my back to the window and look straight forward at the elevator's doors. I try to think of literally anything else. My thoughts drift over to Bea. I think of how protective she is. And how not even an hour ago we were in the meadow, kissing. Just thinking about it makes me blush a little.

When I looked at her, with her hair crazy, her eyes wild, and her mouth smiling wide, I couldn't help it. But then she kissed me back, and I never wanted to let go. We're like puzzle pieces. We fit together.

I finally grew the courage to tell her how I feel, and it was the best decision I've ever made. I wanted to tell her how I really felt before the Choosing Ceremony, that way if I ended up leaving, which I wasn't planning on doing, I wouldn't leave any open doors. I didn't want to die and have her never know. I didn't want to be separated from her for whatever reason and constantly think of what could've been. I just wanted to let her know that I love her. But I didn't expect her to say it back.

The elevator sings wakes me from my thoughts. I walk out to the front desk. I ask the woman where I could I find Will, and she looks at me like I'm insane.

"Will? Will...?" She asks, looking for a last name.

"I don't know his last name! He...uh..he...He has a sister! Cierra? No, Callie...No. CARA! His sister's name is Cara. Cara sent me!" I yell, excited that I remembered her name. She gives me that look again, buts picks up the phone anyways and dials a number.

"Can you send Will Tanner to the front desk on floor 78, please? Thank you." She hangs up the phone and tells me to go sit down. I do as I'm told and wait. The elevator dings about 5 minutes later and a boy with short blond hair and green eyes walks up to the desk with a worried look on his face. I'm too far away to hear the conversation, but the woman points at me and 'Will' walks over. He's got to be around 15—Bea's age.

"Can I help you?" He asks sheepishly.

"Yes! Do you have any medical experience?!" I say quickly. The anxiety seems to have caught up with me.

"I do, I'm studying to become a doctor actually and-"

"Great. Come with me. I'll explain on the way, but we've got to hurry." I rush through the words too quickly, but I don't have time to repeat them. "Hope you've got a good stamina," I mutter and walk towards the elevator. He follows without hesitation and I tell him everything as we slowly descend to the lobby.

"I can't really say anything for sure because I haven't seen her and you don't know what happened before you got there. Do you have any idea what she could've been injected with?"

I shake my head in response.

"I hate to say this, but depending on what she was injected with, she could be dead by now." I try to hide my shock as best I can. Instead of panicking worse, I grab his arm and drag him out of the building. Once we're outside, I run as fast as my body will let me and he follows, not knowing where to go.

It takes ten minutes to get to her house. I stop in my tracks and Will runs into me. I barely move if not at all from the impact. Marcus sits, waiting on the porch.

"Father," I greet him.

"Tobias," he says back with a smile, but I see in his eyes an extreme anger he holds for only me. I'm not sure what for, I obviously did something wrong.

It's silent for a little while, but then Will breaks the obvious tension by asking, "Is she inside?"

"Yes, and what is your name?" Marcus questions, making conversation to distract from the obvious hostility.

"I'm Will, sir. Excuse me." Is all he says before walking into the house. As the door opens, I see Natalie and she catches a glimpse of me before it closes.

"What were you thinking, bring an Erudite here like this?"

"She got hurt, Father. There was no other option."

He's about to continue, but Natalie walks out and embraces me.

"Thank you, Tobias." She whispers shakily.

I hug her back and whisper, "Of course, Natalie." She releases me and steps back. She sniffs a little. Her eyes are puffy, her nose is runny, and her cheeks are red. She's been crying.

"How is she?" I ask.

"I don't know..." She responds quietly with a shrug. She's about three seconds away from breaking down, I can see it. She looks up at me and I look back at her sympathetically. A single tear falls from her left eye and she completely breaks. She pulls me back in for another hug. I hug back and let her cry into my shoulder. I glance up at Marcus standing in front of us and see the fury in his face. He looks about ready to beat the living hell out of me right now and right here. But instead of cowering, I mirror his look. I don't care what he does to me tonight, the only person who means the world to me could be dead and her mom needs someone to cry on.

Natalie has always treated me like her own. I think of her as a mother figure. I love her, not in a creepy weird way, but in a 'hey, thanks for acting like a parent when one of mine died and the other whips me with a belt.' way. And for argument's sake, I'm being selfless right now. I'm helping another person with their pain and grief. Isn't that what our dumb faction is about? Being selfless and helping others when they need it? I'm probably the only one who will willingly hug her without hesitation because of our 'rules'. Her own husband refuses to even look at her like he loves her in public.

"Natalie? What are you doing?" I hear. It comes from behind me and doesn't sound like Marcus. I don't need to turn around to know its Andrew, Bea's father. Think of the devil and he shall appear. Her eyes open and she lifts her head from its original resting place on my shoulder. I watch intensely as she leaves my embrace and walks up to him, hurt and anger visible in her eyes and facial expression. She stands in front of him, glaring daggers, her hands balled up in fists.

"Natalie, you will never do that again. That was incredibly inappropriate. How da—" is all he gets out before she shoves him, hard. It takes only a moment for the embarrassment to appear on his right cheeks.

"How dare I? How dare you! How dare you try to tell me what to do! How dare you treat me like a child! It's not like anybody else was going to hold me while I cry my eyes out! And where the hell were you, huh? You were supposed to be here two hours ago! Our daughter got hurt bad today, where were you?!" She pauses for a second to breathe. Andrew just stands there, frozen. It's kind of hard to see his face because the sun is setting and it's slowly growing dark.

"Natalie, I—" he starts, but gets cut off again.

"No, don't. I can't do this right now." She says in a low and hurt voice. She turns around and grabs my wrist, pulling me behind her towards the house. I'm so tempted to taunt him, yell something so incredibly cocky, but decide against it due to the following consequences: I don't want to be murdered by Marcus and I don't want to make things worse for Natalie. Instead, I just give him a mad look.

We walk into the house and Will stands up. He looks at Natalie emotionless and says, " She has a slight concussion...but will be just fine. I haven't figured out what she was injected with, but if she's awake by tomorrow, bring her by the hospital sector and say Will Tanner sent you. You will receive the best care. They'll have more resources at the compound to find out if it's life-threatening or not and we can run some tests. All in all, she'll be okay."

Natalie lets out a breath and puts her hand to her chest.

"Thank you, Will, so much." She says grabbing his hand with both of hers and smiling weakly. He sets the hand she's not holding on her shoulder and says, "Don't mention it. I just hope she's okay." He nods to me and walks out the door.

She then turns to me and says, "I am very grateful for you, Tobias. Thank you for everything."

"Don't thank me, Natalie. I didn't do it for any 'Thank You's'."

"I know. In all honesty, I know a lot of things. Like how you two snuck off earlier today. And every day..." She murmurs with a knowing smile. My breath catches and my body becomes stiff.

She giggles slightly and then says, "No need to get nervous, Tobias. I'm thankful that it's you and nobody else. You're a good boy—excuse me—man. And it's kind of obvious. The way you look at her is the way Andrew and I used to look at each other. Except this will last. What do you do, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Nothing wrong. We just talk. Sometimes nothing at all." I smile.

"I also know about...Marcus and what he does to you." My smile disappears in an instant.

I nod, looking at the ground. "How?"

"I don't know, I think I just figured it out. Just a cluster of things I noticed that eventually added up to a conclusion. Will he hurt you tonight?"

I shrug. "Choosing Ceremony, which means nothing too serious. Or obvious"

"Tobias, I'm so incredibly sorry."

"Don't be. Just, please keep it to yourself."

She covers her face with her hands. "I'm sorry, I must have ruined your night."

"No, if I was really worried, I would've pulled away."

"I'm sorry, Tobias. I really am. No child should have to go through that."

"It's okay, Natalie. Stop saying sorry. It's a crappy situation, but I promised I would leave."

She raises an eyebrow and looks at me, then looks at Bea and nods understandably.

It's only now that I notice all the similarities that Natalie and Beatrice share: Brown wavy hair, long nose, grey eyes, and their smile.

"She made you promise?"

"No, more like she said she would leave if I stayed."

She scoffs. "She was bluffing."

"I didn't want to take the chance."

"Makes sense. She kind of does whatever she wants. Certainly a wild one."

"Tobias, we should be heading home." Comes a voice from outside. I shudder and look at the floor.

She pulls me into another hug and quietly says, "You be brave, Tobias. Who knows, I might visit you on Visitation Day." She pulls away from my arms and smiles at me. I try to smile back, but it comes out weak. She puts a hand behind my head and pulls down. She stands on her tippy-toes and kisses my forehead.

"Goodbye, Natalie, thank you for always being so kind to me." She nods in response and I turn to leave, but stop and look back at Bea. I point at her and say, "Can I...?"

"I'll give you two some privacy," she says, then trudges upstairs.

I walk over to Bea and kneel down. I rest my hand on her forehead and push back into her hair. I lean down and kiss her forehead and murmur quietly, "I love you." I stay there for a minute or two then get up, walk out the door, and stand in front of Andrew. I look him straight in the eyes and don't move until he looks down at the ground. Once he does, I walk over to Marcus and he glares at me. His hand grabs my bicep tightly and he drags me off to the direction of our house. Tonight is going to be hell...fun!

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 **Please tell me what you thought of the updated version! I plan on fixing more chapters and bringing them up to date**

 **As always, I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors**


	2. The Beginning To The Beginning Pt2

**Hi, I'm back! I can't believe I actually got reviews! That's awesome. I just want to say thank you to everybody that reviewed. It gave me so much more motivation. Anyways, I'm going to try to update every few weeks if not sooner.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Divergent or the characters so please don't sue me.**

 **Okay, on to the story!**

 **Real quick before this begins, I'm sorry if this didn't make much sense. I had a little bit of difficulty finding the right words to explain everything. So yeah, hang with me! I know it's shorter than the last one, but I decided to end it where I did because I felt if I added his Choosing Ceremony in, it would be too long. Anyways, thanks to everyone who commented, it gave me so much motivation. This was kind of soon, but as a warning, I'm going to say that I'm probably not going to update this soon on other chapters cuz I'm extremely inconsistent. Remember I'm open to suggestions and some constructive criticism.**

 **HAPPY READING!**

* * *

Tris(POV)

I wake with a jolt and a horrible pain in my neck. _What the hell happened?_ I look at my surroundings and slowly sit up. I'm at home...on the couch. I search for the clock that is always above the stove. 10:30. Tobias must have left and should be in bed by now.

"Mom?" I croak out. I wait for a few seconds but get nothing. "Mom," I say a little louder. I move to get up but then a painful throbbing that radiates all over makes me freeze. _Pace yourself, Beatrice. Take it slow. Okay, we're okay._ I very slowly lift my legs and rotate my body so I can rest my feet on the ground. I then lift myself up and start walking towards the stairs at a speed slower than a turtle's. I climb the stairs taking my time with each one.

Eventually, I reach the top and immediately hear yelling. The pounding in my head and neck becomes worse and I have to take a minute before walking over to investigate. I stand in front of the door and recognize the voices that belong to my parents. I can't make out the words, but they sound pissed. Quickly and quietly, I open the door a crack to listen to what they are screaming about.

"What happened to you? We were never like this. We've changed, Andrew." My mother murmurs.

"Oh, don't be dramatic, Natalie. Of course we've changed. You're not happy, I'm not happy, that's how it is. We can't fix it because it's _far_ beyond repair. But understand me when I say that you will never embarrass me like that again, do you hear me?" My father scolds.

"Do you dare speak to me like I'm a child, Andrew. You don't own me." She says in a low whisper. I close the door and head to my room. I don't want to hear any more. _What the hell happened while I was out?_ I suck in a deep breath and let it out, slowly trying to calm myself. I sit on my bed in direct moonlight, comforted by the warm feeling it gives me. _Aren't my parents happy together?_ All the stories my mother told me, they seemed so in love.

Suddenly, the door opens and my mother stands there. A smile appearing on her face.

"Beatrice! You're awake! Oh, thank God. I was so worried. How are you feeling?" She asks in a frantic whisper.

"I'm fine, my head and neck hurt, but I'm fine. What happened?" I say, my voice raspy and sore.

"Oh sweetie, you don't remember?" Her smile fades and she looks at me with more worry. I simply shake my head in response. She then sits down on my bed and sets a hand on my knee. "You were coming home and Tobias was walking you. He said that he heard a woman yell something, so he turned and you weren't there. He looked for you and found the woman beating you. Apparently, she injected you with something. Tobias brought you home, ran all the way to Erudite and came back with a doctor. We're not sure what you were injected with, so we will go to Erudite tomorrow so they can run some tests." She finishes and takes a long breath.

"Wow," I murmur in awe. "I can't believe he did that."

"Who? Tobias? How could you expect him not to? He's over the moon for you, Beatrice."

"Wait, what?" I say, my voice cracking at the end. She knows. Holy shit, she knows. My mother simply starts laughing while I'm stuck in my frozen state.

"Oh, Beatrice! You didn't think I knew? Honey, it's so obvious." She says breathlessly. My mother then again goes into another laughing fit.

She calms herself down after a few minutes and I mumble, trying to change the subject, "You and dad never fight..." Her smile fades just a little and turns from happy to sympathetic. She now wears a pity smile and it makes me hurt. The pity is for her.

"I'll tell you later, okay? Maybe tomorrow, just not now. You need your rest. Get to sleep and I'll see you in the morning. Will, the doctor, left you some medicine for the pain. He instructed that you take one every 4 hours. They're on your desk along with a glass of water. He also said that they should start working after about 5 minutes if not a little sooner," she informs me. She kisses my cheek and whispers, "I love you."

"I love you, too," I whisper into her ear and hug her. Then, she disappears from my room.

I walk over to my boring grey desk and find a small bottle and a tall glass filled halfway with water. I swallow one pill and down the water, then fall onto my bed and relax at the newly found drowsiness.

Suddenly, a thought enters my mind that makes me jump to my feet. Tobias. I need to check on Tobias. Oh, God. I need to go see him. I open my window and a cool breeze hits my face, making the strands of hair not tucked into my bun flutter. My head hurts, but the pain is subsiding. I sit on my bed and wait for a few minutes for the rest of the pain to dissolve. My hands reach and find my messy bun, pulling the pin that holds it up. My long, dark brown hair falls over my shoulders in waves. In this lighting, it looks black. I notice that it's getting too long and I'll need a haircut soon.

Once the all the pain is almost gone, I get up and change my boring grey dress into a bluish grey long-sleeved shirt and dark grey leggings. It will be easier to move around dressed like this. I pull on my trusty grey bag, which normally holds sandwiches for the Factionless, and start filling it with everything I need in case he's hurt: ointment to keep his whips from getting infected, bandages to wrap his torso, my pills to make his pain bearable, and a few other things. I climb through the window and practically jump to the tree growing outside of my home. I slowly jump down and start walking towards the house. Then I begin to run to escape the cold.

Five minutes pass and I'm wheezing as I get to my destination. I take a few seconds to compose myself and start walking to the dull backyard. His window sits on the top level of the two-story Abnegation household. I silently step onto the outside glass table and jump to his window sill, which is thick enough for me to sit on. I pull myself up using the wall to help me and peer through the window. His bed lies cornered in the room with a nightstand at the foot of the bed and a lamp. The lamp is the only light source besides the moon and doesn't light the room very well. It's very dim, making it hard to see the 16-year-old body that is supposed to be on the bed. I press my hands against the freezing glass and push up.

The window slides up with a quiet little squeak. I slide in, creep to the messy bed, and pat around looking for a body. I find nothing but thin sheets and a scratchy wool blanket. If he's not here, he must be in the closet. _Damn it, he hates the closet_. Who wouldn't? The closet is one of Marcus's favorite discipline tactics. After he whips Tobias senseless, he locks him in the closet for hours on end. I, over years of practice, taught myself how to pick it.

I take off my shoes to avoid making more sound and shuffle my feet into the hallway. The floor creaks and I freeze. I wait for a second to see if Marcus heard the creak but he doesn't come out of his room. After another minute, I begin moving again. _How did you forget about that one? You've done this so many times that you could do this drunk_!

Once I find the door sitting left at end of the hallway, I grab the sewing kit that I'm supposed to carry at all times from my bag. I use the kit so I can mend clothes for the Factionless, but right now I'm using the needle to enter the lock and maneuver it around. After about 2 minutes, a satisfying 'click!' Fills my ears. I quickly open the door to find Tobias lying on his belly with his head facing away from me and resting on his arm. The back of his shirt is soaked with blood. I gently run my fingers along his side and he flinches at the sudden touch. He groans loudly and I shush him so he doesn't wake Marcus. Grabbing his arm, I drag him out of the closet.

"Tobias, I need you to help me. I need you to stand." I whisper to him. With my help, he stands and uses me for balance. And as a crutch. Slowly, we shuffle our way down the hallway.

"Tobias..." I say in a hushed and sad voice. I mentally kick myself for sounding so sad. He doesn't need this right now, he doesn't need to be coddled.

I pull us into his room and close the door, locking it. Tobias is more alert now, so I don't have to hold his all of weight. Even though he's scrawny and skinny, he still weighs a lot. He takes 2 steps and then just collapses onto the bed. Half his body hangs off the bed, so I grab his legs and jerk him on the rest of the way roughly. Too roughly. Tobias groans into the mattress.

"Sorry," I whisper. He groans again in response.

He fell so that his head rests at the foot of the bed, so I grab the pillow and hand it to him. He's awake fully now and groans loudly into the pillow as he shoves it under his face. I kneel next to him, my chin resting my arms. He looks over to me with pain all over his face.

"I'm not leaving..." He whispers.

"Don't argue with me Tobias, I can't do this for you forever," I respond in a light voice. I'm only half joking. I don't want this to continue. "Plus, you liar, you made me a promise. We don't break our promises to each other and we're not gonna start now."

He gives me a small smile, but it doesn't reach his eyes.

"Where are you going? Have you decided yet?" I ask.

"No," he says, "I haven't. Where would you like to go?"

"This isn't my choice, Tobias. You know that. Are you smart?"

"Not really,"

"Are you kind?"

"I have my moments,"

"Are you brave?"

"Not enough,"

"Are you truthful?"

"You're really asking? I lied _this morning_." He answers. I chuckle softly, knowing it's true.

"Fair point. Are you crazy?"

"I don't want to be Factionless."

I sigh, defeated. "Wherever you choose to go, please don't think about me or what I want. Think about you and your life."

"But you are my life." He protests.

"My God, you are sappier than a tree." I roll my eyes. "I said not to think about me, damn it. If you make life-altering decisions for someone else's benefit, then you're making the decision for the wrong reasons." He glares at me as I stand, leaving the conversation. "Brace yourself," I say, changing the subject. I crawl over his legs on the bed and sit up on my knees. He makes me jump when he wraps an arm around my leg, pulling me closer to his body.

Praying he didn't feel me jump, I grab a pair of scissors out of my bag along with the ointment and bandages. I position the scissors in my hand and put the fabric of his shirt in between the blades. I'm at the neck of the shirt, ready to go when I whisper, "On 3 okay?" He tenses and rests his head against the side of my thigh. His eyes squeezed together tightly, his heavy breathing, his fast heartbeat, I hate this part every damn time. After a second, he nods very slowly.

"1..." I start, "2..." sucking in a deep breath and whispering "...3" I cut a straight line down and know I've hit a few wounds by the sounds he growls into my leg.

I grab both sides of the clothing and murmur, "Tell me when you're ready," He sucks in a really deep breath and nods quickly. At the speed of sound, I rip it the cloth apart and he grits his teeth, moaning into my leg. I know this hurts him. You wouldn't think it would, but it does. His back is so sensitive after a beating and the blood scabs to the shirt. In an attempt to comfort him, I rub his head, messing up his hair in the process.

I dig through my bag and pull out a washcloth and a bottle. I use the rag to dab the blood away and the bottle pours the water on his back to clean it.

The ointment bottle is like a toothpaste container, which means I have to roll it up from the bottom to get the rest. It squeezes into my hand too fast and there's too much. So much that it almost drips off my hand.

"Shit," I snap to no one but my self.

"Y'know," Tobias says, his voice muffled by the pillow, "it's slightly disconcerting to hear that,"

"Sorry," I chuckle softly, thankful for the light conversation.

I'm about to get it over with and rub the stinging ointment onto his fresh wounds when I notice how hard he's squeezing my leg. So tense. Honestly, this is the worst I've ever seen him. Marcus really hurt him badly this time. One of his hands moves from around my leg to on top of it. I gently touch his hand and it makes him jump, making me jump. He lets out a long, shaky sigh and grabs my hand, gripping so tightly so that's almost like his life depends on it.

Knowing what's coming, he nods again, telling me he's ready. I immediately run my hand over his back, making sure the ointment covers every line engraved into his skin. He literally screams into my leg, trying his best not to make noise.

I finish and pull him to sit on the edge of the bed. He lets go of my hand once he's up.

"Breathe..." I whisper to him while getting the bandages ready

"Just get it over with, Bea." He says, his eyes closed. I nod in response, knowing that telling him it'll all be okay isn't exactly the right thing to say right now. I rest my hand on his chest, right over his heart with the wrap. He puts his warm hand over mine and relaxes with the passing seconds. My hand leaves and he holds the bandage I left in place as I move the roll from hand to hand behind him. The roll goes in a giant circle. It runs around his body until his back is completely covered. Once I'm done I cut the bandage, tuck it under a layer, and put medical tape over it.

"There," I say mostly to myself. I gather my things into a pile and am about to shove them in my bag when I remember the pills. I shake one out of its container and hand it to him. "For the pain. I think it will help."

He eyes me suspiciously and says, "Bea, where the hell did you get these?"

I can't help but smile at him. I shouldn't, but I think the look on his face is funny. "I got them for my head. They stopped my headache almost instantly and I feel amazing. Just give it a try. One shouldn't do enough to hurt you."

"Beatrice, these are for your fucking head!" He whisper-yells.

"Stop bitching and take the damn pills." I bark as I cross my arms. He watches me with slight worry as he sucks in a deep breath. After a few seconds of silent argument, swallows it down. I give myself a mental high five for being able to get him to take the pills. "Thank you," I say triumphantly.

Without warning, Tobias grabs my arm and pulls me into a hug, burrowing his face into my hair. His legs sit on either side of me as he hugs me. Too scared to put them anywhere else, I rest my hands on his shoulders.

"Thank _you_." He whispers.

"Don't thank me. I didn't do it for any thank you's." I whisper back. He pulls away and looks at me with pure curiosity.

"How...whe...wait..nevermind." He murmurs. I laugh at his confusion. I say that every time he thanks me for helping him. I don't see how this time is any different. Gently, I press my lips to his and hold him closer to me.

Leaving his embrace I begin to put things away into my bag. I want to stay with him, I really do. But he'll fight me on it and make me leave. Or try to, anyway. I just don't want to argue with him or do anything wrong the night before he leaves.

Will I follow him? He drives me crazy and I love him. And as much as he wants me to, I can't decide where he belongs. That's for him to figure out. But will I follow where he goes if I know I won't be happy there? I deserve to be selfish, don't I?

A thought suddenly hits me at once, like a sack of bricks. I'm about to lose my best friend. The only friend I've ever had, really. And as much as I'd fight him on it, the thought scares me. I've confided in him all my life and he's leaving tomorrow. I'm happy for him because he's leaving Marcus behind but I'm also angry at him because he's leaving me behind, too.

But I can't be angry at him. I have no right to be! I told him to leave. Begged him, even. Maybe I'm just angry at myself. I don't know anymore. _Just leave. He probably needs some time alone to...process._ Process what? His goddamned freedom from this stupid hell we live in? His is worse than mine by far, but I can't be myself around anyone but him and I hate it. The only time I wear my hair down is around him. The only time I'm a smart ass is around him. The only time I'm goofy, funny, or sarcastic is around him! I only sing around him! I only dance around him! I only _really_ smile when I'm around him. So I'm not just losing my best friend or even my boyfriend, I'm losing myself. That scares me. _Hold it together dammit! Don't you cry in front of him, just say goodbye. See him in the morning, kiss him like no tomorrow and never forget him._

Heading to the window I hear him say, "Wait, what the—where are you going?"

"I'm leaving," I respond in a quiet voice. I'm trying not to break down and cry like a baby. I need to be strong right now. Not for him or anybody else. For once I'm going to be selfish and be strong for me. Me and only me because after tonight, me is all I have.

"What the hell? No, you're not. What made you think that?"

Lie. "Um, I just thought that you needed your rest."

"Bea, me and you both know that you can't lie to me. Jesus, I'd think you're Candor. Fucking Candors." He mumbles that last part under his breath, but it still made me laugh. Minutes pass before he says, "Bea...I'm waiting."

"Okay fine!" I growl in frustration. I keep my voice low to make sure that Marcus doesn't wake. "I just don't want to bother you. I figured that you need to process. Holy shit, Tobias! You're leaving everything behind. EVERYTHING! Everything you've ever known, gone! That's if you actually leave. You're a tricky little fucker! You would do something like cross you're fingers or...or...something! I don't freaking know! But tomorrow, you're gone or you're not. You leave and I hate you. You stay and I hate you..." I pace back and forth, pausing only to breathe. "You're leaving me here! And yes, I know I'm making you, but still. Tobias, I've known you since I was born. You are the only person who gets me. And you're leaving. I understand that I'm being selfish, but I don't care! I get to be selfish. What am I going to do for the next year? Not to mention all the ass you're going to get wherever you go! Ugh!

"I just don't know how to be without you, y'know? I've never been without you and you're just going to disappear from my life. But what stays in the back of my mind is the fact that I may never see you again. Tomorrow could be it and I'm not ready for that. I'm not ready for the future or for tomorrow.

"Frankly, I'm scared of this huge ass change about to happen. I don't want change. Of course, I want you to leave and get away from him, but I don't want to lose you. We're going to go from spending all day, every day, together from absolutely _no contact._ " He just sits there and listens quietly, his head moving from side to side watching me unwind my thoughts. I don't even see him get up, but I sure as hell feel him pick me up in a bear hug. I know I am a small girl and don't weigh very much, but he shouldn't strain himself. I don't want him to mess his back up more than it already is.

"Tobias," I growl, "Put me down." He does as I ask, except he more throws me than sets me down. I land sitting upright on the soft and bouncy mattress. He then walks over to the other side and lies down. He puts an arm around my tummy and pulls down, making me fall and lay beside him. We are lying at the head of the bed this time. Sighing in defeat, I blankly look up at the ceiling.

"Can we talk?" I ask, my eyes focused on the white above me. He hums in response, so I continue. "I heard my parents fighting." Out of the corner of my eye, I see him open his eyes. "Sounded pretty bad. I thought my parents were happy! How—how was I so wrong?"

"Sometimes people change. What's important is that they love you and that they take care of you." He says softly.

"Yeah, I guess. But it hurts. They loved each other at one point. They must've. I just can't get the way they were talking to each other out of my head. And the tone. It was so harsh." A tightness fills my chest and I cross my arms over myself as a natural defense.

"Sleep," he whispers, his breath tickling my ear.

"Tobias, I really think I should go so you could lie on your stomach, it would be bet—" but I don't finish my sentence because he put a finger over my mouth to silence me.

"Shh, sleep."

"Tobias, I—"

"Beatrice Prior," he says in a fake angry voice as if he's scolding me like a child. "You go to sleep this instant or you're not getting dessert tomorrow."

"I don't get dessert at all. How is that eve—"

"Prior!" He says a little louder. I cover my mouth with my hand to hold in my laugh. I try my best to cherish this moment because it's the last time I'll ever get it.

I look over at him. I'm on my back and he's on his side. His eyes are closed and I look at his features. His chiseled jaw, his hooked nose, his smaller top lip and his fuller lower lip, all of which fit him perfectly. So tall and so skinny. Long limbs that hide a surprising amount of strength. But what holds the most strength is his heart. He should be broken, but he isn't. And I'm thankful for that.

I turn so I'm facing him and rest the palm of my hand on his cheek. My fingers tangle in his hair while his hand moves to my back pulling me closer. I close my eyes and whisper, "I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you, too. Probably more than you will miss me."

"Why does everything have to be a freaking competition? You should be happy. Most guys would give their souls to lay in a bed with a girl, you ungrateful bastard." I respond. I open my eyes and watch him smile like a fool.

He hugs me a little closer and says, "God, Bea, you have no idea how much I'm going to miss you. I want to say thank you for everything. For the—the—back stuff and you know, just being my best friend."

This makes me tear up. "You jackass," I say with my voice cracking, "Come here." I hug him tightly, being careful about his back. My head ends up in the crook of his neck and his smell makes me all the more sad. I'm going to miss his smell. It's strong but not overpowering. It's also impossible to explain, but I know that I love it. One thing I can say is that his memorable smell reminds me of safety and protection. I don't know why, probably because he's always protected me. This smell will always be ingrained in my brain. I close my eyes, inhaling this scent for the last time. Eventually, I let sleep steal me from this moment that I don't want to be pulled from.

* * *

Tobias(POV)

I wake from the nightmare with a silent scream. He hurt her this time, whipped her right in front of me and I couldn't do anything to help. He kept yelling that it was my fault, that her pain was because of me.

The pain in my back is excruciating and makes me grit my teeth every time I breathe. She made the wrap a little tight, but I ignore it.

My alarm clock reads 4:30 AM, but the sky says otherwise. It's already bright and sunny, the rays come through my window making the foot of the bed uncomfortably warm. I'm about to get up when I notice my arm is wrapped around a body cocooned in the blankets.

Pulling down the covers, I reveal a head full of thick, brown hair. She looks so calm. I'm out of my mind. I want to leave but I can't. I made a promise...but she did, too. She might keep it, but she might not. Bea hates it here and she literally has a school notebook where she counts down the days until her Choosing Day. I know that she doesn't really fit in here, and I mean that in the best way possible. She says that she isn't selfless. But she is selfless 100%, she just doesn't like it here. This faction cages her like a bird.

Where will I go? Where do I belong, where do I fit in? I'm not going to stay here because she's right, I need to get away. Amity is too nice for me, Erudite are dicks, and I sure as hell am not going to Candor. That doesn't even need an explanation. Dauntless...I don't know. I'm really not that brave. Well, no, that's a lie. I am brave when I need to be. Especially when it comes to her. I have no idea what I'm going to choose today.

I sit up as calmly and quietly as I can, trying my best to make sure she doesn't wake up.

It was just like this when I told her I loved her. Me up and thinking, her out cold.

About a week ago, she again took care of my back. At midnight she was already sleeping, mostly because she was exhausted from all of the exams we had. I was sitting up and thinking about things while she was getting her much needed rest. Feeling bold and confident, I was practicing how I was going to tell her how I felt. I went through so many ways, thinking of the right words, the right place, the right time. I was just so overwhelmed. I couldn't think about the perfectly perfect way. Then it hit me like a train. I finally came up with the right way. I was going to take her to The Tree—our other hangout before the meadow—at dawn to tell her that I loved her. I had laid down on my belly beside her and whispered my speech, correcting and finalizing my script when I had said, "Beatrice, I love you. And I just needed to tell you before everything goes to shit." The only thing is, she was awake. Her eyes shot open and she sat up looking at me like I was insane. I had thought that I ruined everything; my chances, my friendship. I felt so stupid until she tackled me and said it back. Best day of my life, so far.

"Tobias," a voice groans beside me, "Why are you up? It's..." she sits up enough to see the clock and continues, "5 in the goddamn morning. Excited for the Choosing Ceremony?"

"Ha," I whisper, "You wish."

"Go to sleep, you leave in less than 4 hours."

"Maybe I don't want to sleep."

"And maybe I want to shoot you, but I won't do it. Wanna know why?"

"Why?" I ask chuckling.

"Because I'm not smart enough to get away with murder."

"That's it?" I laugh out.

"No, that's not it. I also won't do it 'cause my family would probably disown me. I'm saving that for _my_ Choosing Ceremony."

"What is the point of this?" I question, laughing quietly.

"My point is," she growls sitting up and crisscrossing her legs, "that I choose not to shoot you because I don't have a weapon—mostly—but also because it's not the right thing to do. I put aside my stubbornness and do what I'm told because it's easier."

"That was very poetic and beautiful. You should write a book."

"Yeah, 'beautiful.'" she murmurs.

"Hmm?"

"Huh?"

"What was that—uh—little thing there?"

"Nothing,"

"Why'd you put that word into those quotation marks?"

"No reason in particular," she says, trying her best not to laugh.

"Are you insinuating that you are not beautiful?"

Her smile fades and she looks down at her hands.

"Beatrice," I say emotionless, "I'm going to tell you something that I hope will always stay in the back of your mind, understand?" She nods her head while continuing to stare down at her fidgeting hands. A thick section of dark hair falls in front of her face and I push it behind her ear. I lean in as close as I can and tilt her head up to look at me. Then I say, "You can't spell 'beautiful' without the letters B, E, or A, can you? What does B, E, and A spell in that order?"

Her smile makes my heart explode. Her soft laugh makes my heart smile. Her intense and happy icy-blue stare makes my heart race. Everything about this woman drives me crazy.

"It spells Bea," she says shyly.

"Wait, isn't that...isn't that what your name starts with?"

She smiles wider and nods whispering, "Its also your nickname for me. You're the only one who's allowed to call me that."

"Damn straight," I say looking at her. "Just remember, you don't need anybody but you to know you're beautiful. But for reassurance, know that I find you jaw-dropping."

I don't register it at first, but I feel her lips on mine in milliseconds. Her palms hold my cheeks and mine rest on her ribs. Breaking our kiss and taking a deep breath, a single tear falls and she whispers, "I'm going to miss you, Toby."

Gently, I lean back against the wall and pull her on top of me so she's straddling my legs. I hug her tiny frame as she silently cries into my shoulder. I whisper soft nothings to her and sway slowly.

To get her mind off it I say, "I had a nightmare. Tell me what you say about nightmares."

"Sometimes you have to fight through your nightmares to get to your dreams."

"That's right. It'll be okay, I promise."

"Promise?"

I hold out my middle finger, our own twist on pinky promises, and she holds out hers. They tie around each other and shake up and down. She laughs a soft laugh but I can still tell she's trying to hold it all in. She sits up straight and looks down at our fingers, smiling.

"You promised, now promise not to break it."

* * *

 _ **So this is my second edited chapter. Tell me what you thought! Better than the original? I made minor improvements.**_

 _ **I love constructive criticism and ideas.**_

 _ **Please review and have an awesome day!**_


	3. The Beginning To The Beginning Pt3

Tris(POV)

The blaring alarm startles me. I don't want to open my eyes, opening them would tell that it's time for me to go home. Very slowly cracking one open, I for a moment think it's around 9 AM, which isn't the case, otherwise he'd be gone by now. Why is it so freaking bright at 6:45? After my eyes have adjusted to the blazing light, I find I'm facing the wall with an arm wrapped around my tiny frame. The owner of the arm groans loudly and annoyed. He rolls over and unplugs the aggravating machine and returns to his previous position.

"You seem pleased with yourself," I say. He responds by grumbling something inaudible. "We have to get up. You have to get ready and I have to leave before they think their daughter has turned into a bundle of blankets."

Chuckling, he whispers, "Nah, I think I'm going to keep you. You're mine now."

"You're so needy." I murmur quietly to myself. His arms tighten around me, making this whole ordeal harder. I sit up against his restraining arms crisscrossing my legs and rest my elbows on my knees. My own hands cup my face as I think about how damn hard this is going to be. He sits up as well and draws in a deep breath.

"Why'd you have to go and make me like you? This would be so much easier if we were just friends. Not best friends, not close friends, but friends."

"Would you rather this-" I gesture between us, "-never exist?"

He smiles his boyish smile and says in a soft voice, "Not for the world," while slinging his arm

across my back and kissing my cheek.

"Since when do you like easy? You've always enjoyed a challenge." I comment.

"Some things should be easy so the hard-working people get a break." He says. "I don't think I'm going to get a break."

"Your easy will come, just be patient. Patience is a virtue that every person must obtain, along with-"

His moaning interrupts my Abnegation lesson as he says, "Enough with the dumb Stiff crap!" Which earns a laugh from me.

I lean over him, basically lay over, and plug the alarm clock back in. The numbers read 6:50 AM.

"Shit, Toby, I have to go." I whisper getting up and gathering my things. I shuffle over to the window and open it. I figure I'm going to visit him at the Hub before he leaves.

I'm about ready to leap out when his voice stops me. "Bea, wait."

My body turns itself to find him standing with a folded piece of dark grey clothing in his right hand. He strides over to me and presses the folded bundle to my chest. I take it and let gravity do the unfolding even though I already know what it is. It's his favorite sweatshirt that I always pick out to wear when I'm cold. I think it's his favorite because I absolutely love it when he wears it. My eyes water and I look down at the wrinkled object in my hands. I hug him and the sweatshirt to me, begging the tears to disappear for now.

"Thank you, Tobias." I say into his chest. He doesn't respond and doesn't need to. I walk away from him to the window. I stuff the sweatshirt into my bag and crawl out onto the sill. I turn again to find him standing right there. I lean my body in and pull him by his shirt to my lips. His hands travel to my waist while mine cup his face. Pulling away out of need for air, I smile a weak and sad smile. He returns it, whispering that he loves me. I do the same.

After a few seconds, I lie on my stomach and slide to the edge. As gracefully as I can, I grip the edge of the sill and push-off so that I'm hanging against the side of the building. I swing my body so that I'll land next to the glass table and release. My legs hit the ground hard and I roll. It takes me a moment to catch my breath, but I'm up within a second and looking up at the window. I find Tobias smiling like a proud fool. I take a bow and wave to him. The second he waves back, I'm bolting home. I take my time running there. Last night when I ran over, it seemed impossible to breathe. I think I'd rather save my breath, so instead of my five-minute record, it takes me about eight minutes to make it home. I climb the tree, pull myself into my room, and collapse onto the bed. Feeling chilled, I grab a sweater from my closet. I walk around my room trying to decide where to hide my new clothing item. I decide the dresser is a decent choice, for now at least. I pile my other clothes on top of hit and lie down on my back. My parents usually wake me close to seven, so any minute my mother should be barging in demanding my awakening.

"Beatrice!" My mother calls through the door almost on cue. I groan and get up.

Opening the door, I ask, "Yes?"

She just looks at me sympathetically and whispers, "Choosing Ceremony..."

I try to make the line my lips want to make to keep a in cry of pure sadness, but I'm not quick enough. The second it escapes I'm in my mother's warm, loving arms. "I'm going to miss him so much." I whimper.

"I know honey, I know. It ge—"

"That's selfish, not everything revolves around you, Beatrice." My brother happily states walking out of his room just a two doors down the hall.

My mother gives him a look that says, shut up before I kill you. I'll make it look like an accident. Basically, she gives him the 'mom look'.

I glare at him and say, "You know what else is selfish? Being a dick."

"Beatrice!" My mother scolds with shock and disapproval.

I smile sheepishly and mumble while looking at my feet, "What? We were all thinking it."

Caleb just shrugs and adds, "Hey, at least I didn't sneak out to see him,"

At first I'm shocked, but I recover it quickly. I glance over to my mom and she is just staring at him, not in a way that shows this is new information, but in a way that makes her surprised that he would rat me out so easily. "At least I don't hide books in my room." I retort, but immediately regret. That was his biggest secret.

"Mom! I...I have nev—"

"Oh honey, you're not that good at hiding things. I know, and it's okay. And you," she says turning her attention to me, "You're not as sneaky as you think. Or maybe you are, I'm just smarter than you. Either way, you two are siblings. Do you understand what that means? That means you have each others back. No matter what. No matter the faction, the fights, the words screamed in anger, you two shouldn't be so quick to say each others secrets to save yourself."

"She shouldn't be sneaking out in the middle of the night to see some boy who isn't important!" Caleb yells pointing at me.

"Are you kidding me?! You did not just say that. Why do you even care? Hell, I bet if I disappeared tomorrow, you would shrug at the news."

"I care because I am your big brother."

"No, you 'care' because if you don't, that's failing as a brother. And God forbid that you actually fail at something!"

"Hey!" He barks, "I have done nothing but look after you!"

"Oh yeah? Is this," I pull up the sleeve of my shirt to reveal a long, thin scar that starts at my wrist and goes all the way up to the bend in my arm, "...looking after me? You know what the funny thing is? You were there when this happened and didn't do one thing to stop them. You know who did? The one who's always looked after me. Choose your words carefully." I hiss.

"Beatrice, where'd you get that?" My mother asks in a shaky voice.

"Doesn't matter," I mutter.

"That wasn't my fault! It was that group of boys! And I went to go get the teacher!" Caleb retorts.

"Maybe it wasn't your fault, but it was your group of friends and you didn't do anything to stop it! You waited until I got a bloody nose to get teacher."

"That's not fair..." he says.

"Just shut up Caleb, you have no right to tell me he's unimportant. Don't talk to me like you actually enjoy my existence." I growl as I walk towards the stairs that go downstairs.

"I care, Beatrice! I just...I'm not..." Caleb looks for the right word.

But I cut him off before he can continue by saying, "No excuses, your just a coward." My mother looks at me with disapproval while my brother looks at me with tearful eyes. "I'm going to go say goodbye. I'll be back." I whisper as I continue down the stairs and out the front door.

* * *

I see him from a distance. He stands in front of the Hub while Marcus talks to him. From the look on his face, I can tell it is not a pleasant discussion. Tobias stands there, looking at the ground while intensely listening. Marcus looks up to see me just lingering around and gives me that fake Abnegation smile. Once Tobias realizes that his father has abruptly stopped talking, he looks up at him to see why the sudden silence, then follows his gaze to little me. Now, his smile is real. It is not forced or fake, but it is genuine and joy-filled. Marcus beckons me over to them and greets me.

"How do you do this morning, Beatrice?"

It takes every bit of self-control to not kick him in the balls right now. I simply smile smugly and say, "My morning has been good so far today, Marcus. Thank you for asking. How was your morning?" My politeness makes me want to barf. From the corner of my eye I can see Tobias trying to hold in a laugh. He knows how much I want to beat the crap out of his father with a crowbar, and is chucking silently because of the tone I'm saying my words in. A tone that basically means don't fuck with me.

"My morning has been pleasant. Thank you for your caring. Tobias," he says and turns to his right where his son stands, "I'm going to go in side. I'll see you there, son. Goodbye Beatrice."

"Goodbye Marcus." I respond with an edge in my tone. He seems to notice, but either ignores it or just doesn't care. He spins around on the heel of his foot and walks into the building. "Fucking dick," I mumble under my breath. Tobias laughs and smiles at me.

"On a scale of one-to-ten, how badly did you want to punch him?" He wonders to me.

"Badly enough to draw blood this time," I say holding out my arm. Whenever I talk to the deadbeat, I always have my hand on my wrist or upper arm and dig my nails into my skin to keep my mouth shut.

He examines my arm and chuckles, "Damn Bea, who's going to keep you from throwing him in front of the train?"

"Hopefully my sanity and my morals." I laugh out whilst pulling the sleeve of my sweater down to cover my new marks.

"Ha! What morals?" He says rolling his eyes at me.

"Whatever," I grumble. Then I look up at him and whisper, "I just came here to...um...wish you luck and say goodbye."

He looks at me and gives me his charming smile. Before jerks like the Candor and Erudite started to dislike us, I would hear girls comment on how cute Tobias was or how hot he is. That smile he's giving me right now is the one that drops girls to the floor.

"Don't you give me that smile," I say while playfully shoving him. "Do you think a hug would give away too much?" I question.

He then suddenly swoops me up in his arms, lifting my feet from the ground and whispers, "Like I care."

I grin into his shoulder and my arms wrap around his neck. My feet are suspended at least four inches off the ground, which shows how much taller than me he is. "You watch yourself out here, okay? Promise me." He mumbles into my ear.

"I promise. And you promise me that you will be careful. Choose where you belong, Tobias." I whisper back. He nods and sets me down, but not before he turns his head and kisses my cheek. Now on the ground, I hold out my middle finger to him, our way of pinky promising, and he holds out his. They tangle together, sealing our promises.

He pulls me close and says, "You're the best thing to ever happen to me, thank you."

I cup his face with one hand and respond, "Oh Toby, you haven't seen nothing yet." Then, I slowly back away while mouthing, 'I love you. Wait for me.'

After which he replies by mouthing back, 'Always.' He turns and walks into the Hub, ready to decide his future...and quite possibly mine.

* * *

The smoke is what wakes me. Not the burning of my door, or the horrible odor of other burning objects, nor is it the crackling of what I can only assume is fire, not even the horror filled screams that come from what seems like everywhere. It's the smoke. I hack and cough because the thick cloud in my room. Panic reaches my brain and I stall. Get out. My mind tells me. I throw the covers off of me and hop to my feet. Grabbing my shirt collar and holding it above my nose, I go to the door. I need to make sure everyone is out first before I leave. I stop short, remembering I need to grab something first. I shuffle over to my dresser and dig through the second drawer. I grab the sweatshirt Tobias gave me two weeks prior and put it on. Striding back over to my door I zip it up. It's fucking cold outside while it's literally as hot as hell in here. The millisecond I open my door, more smoke comes in and fills my room completely along with the faint smell of gasoline.

"Beatrice!" I hear from what I think is my parents room.

"Mom!" I yell back. It comes out scratchy and rough, as if I've smoked a pack of cigarettes each day for thirty years.

"Beatrice?!" She cries back worriedly. She must be surprised that she got an answer. I carefully dodge around the burning nightstand and hop over the fallen and aflame pictures that hung on the walls when I went to bed last night.

"Mom, where are you?" I scream. There are tears in my eyes from the smoke and the gasoline's stench gets stronger.

Entering her room, I see her on her back with what looks to be one of the support beams laying across her midsection. There is blood everywhere and I'm positive that not all of it is from her, otherwise she'd be dead. "Mom?" I question. I don't really know if it's her. She has a giant slash running across her forehead down to her cheek. It spits blood as she coughs some up.

"Beatrice...I...need you to...get out of...here." She says with much difficulty.

"No, I'm getting out of here. Mama, hold on," I manage to choke out. I'm crying now. The sight of her repulses me, so I choose to see her as she was yesterday. Happy and, well, alive. She looks as though she is high on drugs with her eyes rolling back in her head. Her mouth opening and closing. She reminds me of someone with a mental disability who can't live on their own. They're just there, a vegetable. I can't look at her. It pains me and makes me want to vomit.

"Beatrice, get your father." She begs.

"Where is he?"

"I don't know," she whispers.

"Shit," I murmur so only I can hear. I look around the room which is lit with an orange glow. It's too smoky in here for me to see anything. I need to let some out. My eyes land on the lamp on my father's bedside table. The bed also has a support beam sleeping on it that I almost run into. I quickly walk over to the heavy lamp and yank as hard as I can with no success. My hand slips on the second try and paints a deep, thick scratch now dripping with blood. I've always been good at handling the sight of blood. I've never been faint or felt sick. But now like I might pass out here and die. Like everything on the inside of my body will come out of my mouth. I quickly shake my head no. We're going to get out of here. We are going to live. I rip off a piece of the bottom hem of my t-shirt and wrap it around my hand. I'll have to put some antibacterial spray on it so I won't get an infection. Ignoring the pain, I pull again. Two more tugs and it gives, making me stumble backwards. The light, though, is still attached to the wall with a cord seemingly made of iron. The light in the lamp flickers, showing me a bloody face whose eyes are open lying in the bed I'm next to. I scream in surprise while jumping back and drop my heavy light source on the ground with a thud. It flickers some more, then decides to show me again. The bloody face belongs to my father and a support beam is the cause for the red that has stained his face. The edge of the beam is burrowed into my fathers skull, and I notice that his hands are shaking. He's not alive, I know this. It's probably like a chicken with no head, it still runs around for a few moments. Or it could be the several minutes of brain activity that occurs after death. I don't know, and I don't necessarily want to know. The sight of him suddenly makes my dinner come up.

"Beatrice. What's...wrong?" Comes a scratchy voice.

I don't want to lie, it's best to get her sorrow out of the way while I try to break the window. But I also don't want to distract her from getting out.

"Nothing. Just, the house is obviously on fire and I'm a little on edge." I reply frantically.

I ignore the death of my father and put it aside for right now. If I focus on everything that's happening, I might break. Tobias left two weeks ago to God knows where, now my house is on fire and the man I once called father is nothing but a body. My mother is almost dead and I refuse to let her die. My brother is nowhere to be heard or seen. This is a fucked situation. I keep my gaze on the lamp while I yank its cord from the wall outlet. With much difficulty, I hoist the lamp up and at the window. A satisfying crack makes me grin and I throw the lamp again—still with extreme difficulty— and it shader. The smoke sprints out of the room, as if it too is afraid of the fire. Outside, I see Dauntless men dressed in thick black clothes.

"Help! Help me please!" I scream trying to get their attention. One looks up and I see his face. I recognize him as Max, the Dauntless leader. He is a dauntless leader, but he is literally the leader of Dauntless. Max is a tall—well, taller than me—man with dark skin and an intimidating look.

He squints his eyes at me, trying to get a better look. Then he says, "Beatrice?"

I nod and yell back, "My mother is stuck and my father is dead. We're in the bedroom. Max, help us!"

His eyes go wide as I mention my mother. Then he commands his men to go up and save us. A memory rushes through my body as I see him looking at me worriedly. I remember my mom taking me to a meadow, not the one Tobias and I spent our time in, a different one. She told me that they were so close that they ignored the rules and saw each other. I remember Max treating me as if I were his own. My mom used to be Dauntless, she told me so. Her and Max were best friends, the closest in the world. It's almost like they were the same person. But my mother fell in love with an Erudite boy and left. She says she regrets my father, but never me or my brother.

Max yells up at me, shaking me from my walk down memory lane, and says, "Beatrice, I'm coming to get you okay! I'm going to get you out of there."

I nod with a smile because my mother also told me that when he makes a promise, he never breaks it. He's like me. He disappears from sight and I run over to my mother.

"We're going to get out of here, Max is going to get us." I reassure her as I kneel down in front of her. Her smile is as bright as the sun and the sound of Max's name.

"Natalie!" I hear from behind me. I whip around and see Max with a few of his minions. I move over quickly while Max drops to his knees and holds my mother close.

"Get that beam off of her!" He screams to his fellow Dauntless. They quickly run over and the five of them work together to lift the beam. Now that it's off, more blood is visible. Too much.

"Max?" She says with tears roaming down her face.

"I'm here, Nat, I got you." He murmurs looking intensely into her eyes.

"Promise me...you'll take care of her, of them."

"I don't have to, you going to be ok-" he starts, but is cut off by the look my mother gives him. The look silences him instantly. She knows she won't make it, and he knows it too. But I refuse to let her go this easily. I crawl over to them and sit next to Max.

"Mom, don't give up this easily. Please fight. Fight for me." I beg miserably.

"Be brave for me, Beatrice. Fight for what's right and make me proud. I love you, don't you dare forget it. You and your brother are my world, and if I had the choice, I would do it all over again because you two made me happy. You two are my everything." She cries to me with tears running down her face like a waterfall.

"I love you too, mama. You were the best mom. I am so lucky to have been raised by you. Thank you. Thank you for being my mother." I squeak while my tears run too. I'm sobbing now, and she takes my hand. Max looks up at his men and jerks his head to the door, motioning for them to leave. I look around and notice the fire is spreading more rapidly now. I glance up at Max and see tears of his own rolling down his cheeks.

"And you," she whispers looking at Max, "I love you too. You were the best friend any person could ask for. I'm extremely thankful for you."

"I love you too, Natalie." He whispers back. He's trying to hold it in.

"Don't cry," she says in a hushed voice. Her voice is one that could belong to an angel. "I'm going to be okay." Her hand cups my face, and then it cups Max's. He leans down and kisses her gently. It was quick, but meaningful. She smiles at him, and then her smile slowly disappears as her eyes close. The crackling suddenly becomes louder. The smoke becomes thicker and the fire becomes darker. My breath, along with my heart, stops.

"Mom?" I ask begging for an answer. I get no reply. "Mom! Mom no! Come back! Come back to me! Mom! Wake up, wake up, wake up!"

Max is crying and my voice rings through the room that is full of flame and heat. I start shaking her while yelling her name repeatedly.

"Enough! Leave her be!" Max snaps. I look at him awestruck. The echoes stop and the only thing audible is the fire that is getting closer and hotter by the second. My eyes wide and my mouth hangs open.

He kisses her forehead and stands up. Grabbing my wrist, he starts to pull me up. I defiantly yank down on his hand and beg with my eyes for one more minute. He sighs, then nods and lets go of me.

"Get the pictures...all the ones you can get and keep them in your home. I want you to protect them until I can have them." I say to him. He looks at me as if I were crazy. Why waste time on getting things when we should get out of here? He looks down at the charred wood floor and yells to the Dauntless to grab every picture they can. I then hug my mother's head to my chest and whisper nothings. After a few seconds, he walks over, bends down, and scoops up the peaceful body bridal-style. He then beckons me to follow. I get up and stay hot on his heels. Stay strong, don't break down now. Now isn't the time. Be strong for her. My brain says to me. I take a long and shaky breath. I'll break down when I have the time, but right now, I'm trying to get out of a burning house. He starts to get too far ahead of me so I bundle the back of his shirt in my fist to try to keep up. We run down the stairs and through the living room to the door. A piece of the floor above us falls right next to me and catches my arm creating yet another deep scratch. I jump and let out a short scream of fear and pain.

Our bodies reach the cool air and I drop to the ground on my hands and knees. I can't move, I'm either too tired or too weak or something, but my body refuses to move.

"Beatrice!" Max says. He goes to the paramedics and sets down his load on a gurney before running back to me. Max drags me further away from the house until he feels we're a safe distance while I remain on my knees. He kneels down in front of me and frantically asks, "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" But he answers his own question when he sees my arm. The sleeve of the sweatshirt moved up on its own and bundled up at my elbow. He carefully examines the gash and says, "It's not that deep, you'll be fine." I don't acknowledge him, really. I'm just...here. He puts two fingers under my chin and lifts my head up to see his sorrowful and pity-filled gaze. My eyes sting from tears that are coming to life.

"I don't want your pity." I say in a voice that cracks and doesn't sound like mine.

"And I'm not gifting you any, I'm just thankful that you're alive." He responds. I lean back, resting my body on my heels and look around.

"Where's Caleb?" I ask him.

"Don't worry, he's okay. He was the first out." He reassures me.

"Of course he was." I grumble. Max then gives me a disapproving look that would make any man cower in disappointment, but not me. I hold his glare and give it back to him.

"Come with me, Beatrice. We'll figure this out." He says while standing. I stand too but my legs feel now is the time to become gelatin. I fall in to him and he catches me. He then wraps his arms around me in a hug. "You might want to get all of it out of your system right now and save the rest for later." He suggests to me. I simply nod and hug back, letting the tears fall freely into his chest.

"Don't die on me too, Max." I cry into his shirt.

"Not a chance. You're stuck with me." He whispers. Because he and my mom were so close, I got to see him often. I feel as of though he is kind of like a second father to me. My brother knows nothing because he without a doubt would have told our father and probably everybody we knew. I know Max cares for me. He told me once that he wishes I was his child because of how extraordinary I am. He loves how I'm defiant and how I'm brave enough to tell Abnegation to suck it. How I don't quite fit in. He loves me, and I know that I love him too. I used to see him all the time. Sometimes, when I would have a fight with Tobias, I would talk to Max about it. Max is my family for now, hopefully forever.

"Where will I go? I don't have anywhere else to go..." I murmur.

"I don't know," he replies honestly.

"Beatrice?" I hear.

I turn around to see Caleb wrapped in a blanket. "Caleb!" I say. Though I dislike him very much at the moment, he's still my brother. I run to from Max's grasp and envelope Caleb in a hug. He isn't used to physical affection, but he hugs back.

"Report that she's dead on sight." I hear someone say. I look over to where the voice is coming from to see an Erudite leaning over my mother. "Let's take her back to the lab and harvest what we can." He continues.

I shove Caleb away and run over to them. "No!" I yell. Just then, my home collapses on its self and everything is now aflame. The loud noise makes me jump ten feet in the air as smoke and ash and what I can only assume is concrete dust explode over everything. I scream in agony and fall down. Odd noises come from deep inside me as I grieve my lost home. I crawl over to the gurney that cradles my mother and grip the edge. I beg to the Lord to give her back to me. I'm not a holy person, but I'm on my knees begging. I then feel arms wrap around my stomach and for a second, I think it's Tobias. But I know it's not. The arms tear me away from the gurney and hold me down as I kick and scream for my mother.

"Shhh...shhh," Max says in a sad and broken sounding voice while he pets my hair. We sit on the ground, my legs straight out and his bent and on top of mine. His arm rests across my chest and grips my shoulder for support while my hands grip to his forearm for dear life. My back to his chest and his head resting against mine as he whispers things to calm me. I'm going to break, but whoever the fuck did this is going to die, I promise.


	4. The Beginning To The Beginning Pt4

**I am so sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. I couldn't think of anything good to write. This was kind of an important chapter, so I tried my best to make it good.** **Next chapter is going to be placed a year later, Tris's Choosing Day.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing. All rights go to Veronica Roth.**

Tris(POV)

Caleb and I sit side by side in very uncomfortable chairs. We wait silently in front of the wide and tall doors of one of the courtrooms in Candor where leader meetings are sometimes held. The quiet of this early morning makes my thoughts scream louder with each passing second. _It's your fault. You could've saved them. You're despicable._ I feel like I'm going to fall apart and go into a crying fit. Or maybe just dive into terrible depression from which I'll never resurface. At this point, death seems much more inviting. I've lost everything I really care about in just one month. Two weeks ago, I lost my best friend. Last night, I lost my mother, father, and my home.

I can't say the same about Caleb, I have no idea what he's feeling, he refuses to have a conversation with me. This silence, hopefully, is his way of coping. From what he told me earlier, he thinks we will go into the system, although it's doubtful that we will get adopted before our Choosing Ceremony. I think that we will stay with some foster family or some really selfless souls, note sarcasm, for the remainder of our time in Abnegation. That's the logical idea. What I really want is to go with Max. He's basically my father and he loves me. The last person who does. That's how it seems anyways.

"Caleb," I whisper. Out of the corner of my eye I see him look at me so I continue, "I am really scared." Tears start to slip out and my nose becomes runny. I feel his hand pat my back awkwardly. I know this is the only affection I'm going to get out of him, so I take it. "What are we going to do?" I choke out between quiet sobs. I look over to him and he gives me a sympathetic look and a sad shrug. I play with the hem of Tobias's sweatshirt for a distraction. The warm clothing item is so big on me. The sleeves go well past my hands and the bottom hangs to about mid-thigh. This is so long it could be considered a dress. Sometimes, I pull the fabric over my head to be engulfed in the darkness with that feeling. It smells like him, too. This comforts me because it makes me feel like he's here, holding me against him. I miss that feeling. I miss him.

Five seconds later, the giant doors open with a loud screech that makes Caleb and I cringe. I wipe the tears from my face with my sleeve and push myself up. Max walks over and looks at me, his expression unreadable.

"Max, what is it? Where are we going?" Caleb asks. _Oh, so_ now _you talk?_

"The council thought that," he takes a long breath before continuing, "it would be better for you to remain in Abnegation for the remainder of the year until the Choosing Ceremony."

I glance at Caleb and say, "I told you so." He gives me an angry expression with a loud sigh through his nose. I'm quite disappointed that we won't being staying with Max. I really wanted to. I look away with a small smile and say to Max, "Where will we be staying?"

"You will be staying with Marcus for the remainder of the year." He says gently.

I feel my eyes widen. It feels like my heart comes to a sudden stop. _God, please no. NO!_ My breathing stops. I stare at him. I just stare. _No, no, no, no, no._ No, this can't be happening. My brain is running a million miles a second. My legs give out and I fall to my knees, unable to move, unable to breathe, unable to see, unable to do anything.

Someone puts a hand on my shoulder and that is enough to make me explode.

"Why didn't you fight for us?!" I scream while standing up.

"Beatrice calm down, people are stari—"

"Shut the fuck up, Caleb!" I growl while glaring at Max. "How could you? How _could_ you? You're a fucking liar! You _lied_ to her!" I yell with tears running out like a waterfall. He attempts to pull me in a hug but I shove him away. "You always keep your promises, don't you?" I say just a tad louder. He doesn't answer. "You're breaking this one to her, you know that?!"

"Beatrice, I did everything I could. The leaders think it would be in your best interests to stay in Abnegation and continue your lifestyle here. I tried everything. You're going to be just fine. I don't know why you're acting this way." He says. He's angry at my sudden outburst, but I don't fucking care. This time tomorrow, I could be dead.

I'm fuming. My hands are in fists and my breathing is rugged. I know the only way we wouldn't be able to stay with Marcus is if I report about the abuse. But if I told someone about the beatings, Tobias would loathe me for eternity. I never really understood why he never told, but for whatever reason it was important he kept it to himself. And it's his secret, his business, not mine.

"You know what, don't talk to me again." I murmur angrily at the floor. I can feel his hurt and shocked look, but I refuse to lift my gaze. I'm cutting him out of my life, the only way to do that is to be cold and mean. It's the right thing to do, isn't it? I can't see him if I'm freshly whipped and have a black eye because he'll tell in a millisecond. Max is a very protective man; especially when it comes to those he loves. Plus, I don't want him to see me like that in general, hurt and lifeless. It murdered me inside to see Tobias like that and I will _not_ do that to him.

"Beatrice, stop acting this way. You will respect me and respect everyone." Max says in his 'leader' voice.

"Beatrice! You are acting like a disgr—" Caleb starts but is cut off by a punch in his gut. He stumbles to the floor and clutches his stomach while heaving. _'Respect everyone' my ass._ Either he's extremely weak, or I'm just stronger. Maybe both. Or I caught him off guard. I don't care. I continue to glower at the ground with a mixture of pure hatred and crippling sadness for what feels like forever.

Max just looks at me with sad eyes. My anger dies, but my sadness revives and my body starts to shake. I finally look up, but as soon as I do, he becomes blurred with my tears. I close my eyes and press my hands to my face. This time, I let Max engulf me in a hug, I don't have the will or the energy to stop it. He says nothing, the only thing I hear is his heartbeat and the soft murmurs around me. And my sobs and Caleb's heaving.

I hear Marcus talking, I can't exactly tell what he's saying, but it's enough to set me off again. My anger rules over my sadness and I start to push against Max, but he refuses to let me go. Then I punch him in the stomach and ribs while yelling, "You're a coward!" repetitively. He doesn't do anything, I'm not even sure my punches are really effective, I just know that I'm slowly breaking and my body isn't equipped to handle it. "I hate you," I say in a cracking voice. My arms become tired so I stop and cry against him.

"I believe it's time to go," someone says a few minutes later. Max loosens his arms enough to let me turn around to see Marcus standing there with a smug look on his face. I want to beat it off of him, but can't because Max holds me tightly in place by my upper arms. I try to kill him with my scowl, but it sadly fails.

Angrily, I turn to face Max. I shove my pride down and hug him tightly. "Please don't talk to me," I whisper, "And don't tell Tobias." My eyes fill with tears once more as I try to hold in another tantrum.

"How did you know he transferred to Dauntless?" He asks quietly. We're not really supposed to know where our friends or family transferred because it could sway our decision.

"Logic. He hates Candor with a passion, he certainly doesn't have the patience for Erudite, Amity are too rainbows and unicorns for him, and I would've known if he stayed here."

"Smart girl."

I reluctantly pull away and turn to see my brother and in deep conversation. I look back to Max and give him a sad smile. He puts his hand behind my head and presses a soft and loving kiss to my forehead. "Be brave, young one," He says against my skin. "Do me a favor,"

"What?"

"Raise hell."

My smile is sad, but wide and unforced. Deep inside, I know what's coming.

"Beatrice, we should get going." Caleb says.

I take a long, shaky breath and say goodbye. Then turn and walk with Caleb and Marcus out the door, anger still in my system.

"Beatrice, you will get Tobias's old room," Marcus says as we walk through the door. "Caleb, you will get the spare room just a door down from Beatrice."

Everything looks the same from the last time I was here. Although, it's kind of hard to see at eleven o'clock at night.

I start to walk up the stairs when Marcus says, "Caleb, would you mind taking the bags upstairs? I have bad knees and a sore back." _Bullshit._ I think. "Beatrice, can I have a word with you for a moment?"

"No," I say flatly. Caleb, in return, gives me a very stern look.

"Beatrice, don't be rude. Stay and talk to him. He needs a word with you." Caleb says before picking up the clothes given to us at Candor and walking upstairs.

I turn to Marcus, staring him down. "What do you want?" I say.

"Don't be rude, Beatrice." He scolds.

"Oh, fuck you." I snap.

I don't see his hand raise, nor am I quick enough to dodge it. His palm connects to my cheek and sends me to the floor. I let out a small whimper from the surprise and the sting that radiates throughout my face. I sit up quickly with my hand protecting my red cheek and my other propping myself up while I glare at him. A piece of blonde hair fell from my bun and cuts a line through my vision. He squats down and looks at me. His kind and selfless demeanor replaced with a violent and ruthless one. He looks at me like I'm a meal. Like I'm the prey and him, the merciless predator.

"Listen to me, you little bitch," he says in a hushed yet angry tone, "you're mine now, I _own_ you. This time, you won't be able to sneak out and get away with it."

I breath heavily. I shouldn't talk back, I shouldn't provoke him the way I like to, but oh, how it feels good. I want to let him know he doesn't riddle me with fear like he did with Tobias. I need to show that he can't break me, no matter how hard he hits me, how hard he throws me. I'm unbreakable, and I'm going to let him know it.

"Hit me again, I dare you," I say, challenging him. This is possibly the dumbest thing I've ever done. But what do I have to lose? I've already lost everything. Might as well lose my sanity and my brain.

His face morphs yet again into one made of hatred and fury. This look makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand, but I keep my face hard. He keeps his gaze on me while he calls Caleb down. And he still watches me as he asks him to go to the market for some food. Caleb leaves and Marcus locks the door. I get up and stand my ground, staring right back; I'm practically begging for it. My hand curls into a fist and my heart pounds in and out of my chest. _He will not win._ His hands slowly reach down to his buckle, and my eyes glance down to watch. He slowly takes his belt out of the loops on his pants and grips it tightly in his calloused hand. My tough stance doesn't move, but my eyes widen and my lips part in need of more air. I have the urge to run, but I ignore it. My hands shake slightly and my eyes water. I refuse to cry, I refuse to stand down. He can beat me all he wants, but I am _not_ letting him win.

"This is for your own good," he says with that fake smile. Then he raises his arm and then hits me with his thick leather belt. I scream out in pain as I cover my face with my hands. My cheek burns again, but this time it's from the cut that has appeared. The hit almost makes me fall, but I quickly regain my balance and run upstairs. _I can't do this, what am I doing?! You're not strong, you can't take him! What are you thinking?_ I run into my new room and lock the door. I rip off Tobias's sweatshirt and stuff it in the dresser. Banging comes from my door and makes me jump. I look around for something, anything that I can use to fight back but find nothing. I turn back to the door when I hear a cracking noise. Then I see a line in the middle of the door getting bigger as he uses his shoulder to try to break in. I run to the window that I have jumped from so many times. _Smart! Now you're using your head. You can get out and run._ But when I try to open it, I find rusty nails holding it in place. I still try to open it, but fail. I'm trapped and the door won't hold forever. _I can make it hurt less by putting on more layers,_ I realize. I rip the second drawer out of its hole, but these are Tobias's shirts, so I jump on the bed and dig through the bag that hold my donated clothes and pull on every shirt there is.

"You can't hide in there forever!" He screams. I stay silent and pull on a few extra pairs of leggings and jeans; all grey of course. A loud screech comes from the door beside me as I dig for more clothes. One more hit and the wood will break. I stay frozen solid with fear on the bed, my knees sinking into the mattress and a shirt clutched into my hands. As quickly as I can, I pull it on along with the last sweatshirt in the bag. The last anything in the bag. Five seconds later, he runs in the room, belt in hand and a piece of the door frame breaking off. He's on me within seconds, grabbing me violently by the arm and throwing me down to my stomach on the dark brown wood. He starts to whip me, but I barely feel it. After a few whips, he takes notice. I then feel my layers being ripped off my body and I start to hit him. I thrash around and kick as hard as I can, but he throws a punch to my head that makes me stop. I can still feel everything, I just can't move. He's too strong. Soon, I'm left in nothing but my flimsy grey bra. I'm basically naked. The wood is cold against my cheek and everything is blurring. Then he whips me harder then anything, making me screech in pain. Over and over, he whips me, making me scream louder each time. The pain is unbearable and it stings so bad. Then he switches to the buckle. I remember seeing the marks the buckle would leave on Tobias's back, and how Marcus rarely ever used it. It makes me cry harder and is much more agonizing. So agonizing that I can't even scream, I can't even think without it making me want to take my life. Red puddles form on the floor beneath me as a begin to lose myself. The torture dies down and everything becomes further away until eventually there's nothing but darkness.

* * *

I open my eyes only to find more dark. There's dim light coming from the window that only hits the wall with the bed on it. My body casts a giant shadow as the moonlight fills the room and my eyes adjust. I start to sit up, but my back immediately sends pain through every inch of my body and pushes me down to the floor. _God, this it what it feels like? Damn._ How did Tobias make it this long? I bite my bottom lip and try to sit up again. It hurts like hell, but I push through it, making soft whimpers. It's only then that I realize that I'm only in my undergarments. My crappy dark grey bra, which has no support, is literally hanging on by a thread on my back from the whipping. And my underwear is bloody. That could mean one of three things: 1) I've started my week of hell. Though that isn't due for another two weeks. 2) They're just bloody from the blood that's everywhere because of my beating, or 3) I'm no longer a virgin. We learned in heath class that you bleed after your first time, and that lesson plops itself in the front of my mind. I'm really hoping for literally anything but option 3.

I position myself to stand, but a deep pain from both my back and my privets make me freeze. My breathing becomes quicker as option 3 becomes more likely. I bite my lip again and push myself up. Thankfully, the cry I made wasn't so loud. I look over to the alarm that reads _Sunday, 3:47AM_ and take a long breath; which hurts as well.

Slowly, I pace myself to the broken door and quietly pull it open. Walking down the hall and avoiding every creak that lays in the wood, I start to hyperventilate at my situation. Once I reach the bathroom, I close the door as quietly as humanly possible and lock it. Then I'm blinded for a second when I turn the lights on, and again when my vision blurs from my tears at my reflection. I look like absolute shit. My hair is ratted and full of blood. My face, arms, hips, and thighs all have bruises. I have big ones on my face and upper arms from him hitting me and holding me down. I also find his finger prints bruised into my skin. Especially on my hips. A shutter runs through my body, which makes my back sting. Reluctantly, I turn my body and look at my main source of pain. A sob escapes my lips before I can stop it and I start to full on ball. Silently, of course. Don't want to wake up the asshole. I cover my mouth as I gaze at the long strips of red that rest on my back, and some are thicker than others. On each side of every whip, the skin is raised. And there are some indents in my flesh that are obviously from the buckle. Those are going to be some pretty cool scars, if you're looking on the bright side of this.

Just then, I hear a loud creak from outside the bathroom door. A second later, three soft knocks come through the wood. _Caleb._ I think. I quickly unlock and open the door to see my brother standing awkwardly with his hands behind his back and his eyes on the floor.

"Bea?" He asks looking up at my black and blue face.

"...Caleb," I whisper. My voice won't go any higher. My throat is sore from my screams and cries. I don't even know what to say if I _could_ talk without the scratchy voice. He was going to find out eventually. And I have a good feeling he won't tell. He's always strived to be perfect. So if he's asked not to tell, he probably won't out of respect. But, he also won't tell out of fear. He would get hit, and he can't take it as well.

"Are you okay?"

"Fuck no I'm not okay, dipshit. Do I _look_ okay? I sure as hell don't _feel_ okay!" I whisper-yell, my temper rising.

"I'm just asking, I—" He begins.

"Caleb, I love you, but shut up." I snap.

He sighs and after a second, asks, "Is there anything I can do?" In response, I shake my head 'no'.

"Can I ask you a question?" I say. He nods, so I go on, "how come you're not going all 'overprotective Caleb'? Shouldn't you be helping me even though I said no?"

He gives me such a confused look that it makes me laugh, but it is quickly cut off from the millions of needles stabbing my back. "I mean, I'm your little sister. And a man just beat me senseless and raped me while I was unconscious. You're not doing anything."

"What do you want me to do, Beatrice? Fight him?"

"Never mind. When did you get back?" I ask with annoyance clear in my tone.

"During it," he says gingerly.

My voice turns mad as a say disbelievingly, "And you didn't do anything?!"

"Beatrice, I can't take him, he's to strong and I...I just didn't know how to help you."

"Never mind," I say frustrated and push past him. I'm his sister, why isn't he mad. I want him to be mad! I want him to throw something or yell! I want him to show emotion. Most of all, I want him to show me love. Hug me for Christ's sake. Tell me it's going to be okay!

I tiptoe to my room and close the door. I lay face down, the way Tobias used to, and hug the pillow to me. Pressing my face to the soft cushion, the dam breaks and I wail silently. I'm quite good and crying silently. A talent I picked up over the years. Mostly from when I found out about Tobias's abuse. I would cry because my best friend was getting hurt and there was nothing I could do about it. Though he always made up for it when he would act cocky. It made me smile every damn time. Or when he would give his 'look' to girls in the hallway; that made me laugh because they would giggle uncontrollably. He rarely did it though; Tobias tried not to draw too much attention to himself. I miss him, I miss my mom, my dad, even though he wasn't the best man, he was my father. I miss the feeling of feeling safe. Most of all, I miss the meadow. I think my parents are going to be buried in the one they would take me to as a little girl. I miss Max, but I had to cut him out of my life. At least for now. I have to think, is this worth it. I love Tobias so much, but is he worth this? I could get out of this tomorrow morning. I could march strait into Jack Kang's office and show him the evidence of abuse. They would probably check me for rape too. Do I stay for just a boy? But he isn't just a boy, he's my friend. I would do anything for him, including this. Plus, I made a promise. My promise being to never tell anyone. And I will keep this promise, even if it kills me. But, is it worth it?

 _Sleep, you need it for the hell you promised Max you'd raise._ My mind tells me. Not a bad idea. I close my eyes and try to think of how I'm going to do it, and what I'm going to do. Whatever it is, it's going to be motherfucking legendary. I breathe in slowly, and let sleep take me.

Several loud bangs come from my door that make me jump. I sit up quickly, but my back reminds me of yesterday's festivities and causes me to bite my lip to hold in a scream.

"Beatrice! It's time to get up. Take a shower." Caleb says outside of my door.

I sit up carefully and slowly. Grabbing a towel and clothes, I wonder into in the bathroom and lock the door. Tobias said that cold water always helped, so I set the shower to the coolest setting and strip. I step in and let the water soothe my aching back. Abnegation aren't aloud to have warm showers anyways. Too selfish. What's the freaking point of putting an option on the stupid shower if we aren't even aloud to use it. That's like putting food in the fridge but not being aloud to eat it. Normally, being the little rebel I am, I would take hot showers, usually out of spite, but now because I'm so cold. It's no wonder why Tobias always cuddled me. It was cold as hell last night, and it's not like you can use a blanket because it would touch your back and hurt like a bitch. Any sort of contact, even air, hurts. He was so strong for me to wrap his back every time it happened. How did he make it this long? Well, probably because he grew up in this sort of environment and I didn't.

I wonder how Tobias is doing. I should've asked Max to keep an eye on him for me. Watch him, make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. But, I was to busy throwing a tantrum to think of much of anything. I miss my 'Tobias' hugs so much. That's what he would call them. They were the best. Any time something was wrong, he would sense it. Normally, he would try to talk it out of me, and it worked every time. But there were those days, those days where he could tell it was bad and he would straight up hold me. No questions, no looks of concern, no 'it's okay's', just a simple 'Tobias' hugs. He would never pity me ad I never did him. After my hug, however long I needed it to be, he would take my mind off it. Tell me about his day, tell some jokes. Maybe even act like an idiot; anything to get a smile out of me. And when I was ready to talk, I would, he knew that. He knew, if it was serious, that I would come to him. God, I miss him. I miss my mom.

At these thoughts, I start to cry. I cry for what feels like days. I weep silently in mourn of my family, my broken home, my lost everything. I will be strong, though. When the right time comes, I will cry for as long as I need. But until then, I am going to keep it together. Being mindful of my wounds, I shampoo and condition my long blonde hair. Even the thought of soap touching me back there sends a cringe through my body. I can't even begin to comprehend how bad that would hurt. Finishing quickly and getting dressed in some of the clothes that were ripped off me, I head downstairs. Eggs and a slice of toast wait for me on a white ceramic plate. Caleb sits quietly, focused directly on his food. Marcus reads the newspaper and casually sips his coffee. I walk over and sit on the hard chair. As unnoticeable as I can muster, I watch Marcus while I pick at my food. He sits like my father, but is far from him. Thinking about my father sitting, reading the newspaper and drinking his coffee in the mornings makes my eyes gloss over with tears. Angrily, I blink them away and start shoving food into my mouth.

"Good morning, Beatrice," Caleb says finally realizing I'm here. My hand grips my glass of orange juice tightly. "How did you sleep last night?"

"Fine," I say with an angry tone topping off my voice and my eyes trained on Marcus. Marcus takes notice and glances up, his eyes cut into two from his reading glasses. I show no mercy in my glare, but neither does he. It makes my heart race, but I try to keep my poker face straight.

Caleb notices the dense moment and clears his throat. "Well, that's nice. I slept rather well, though it did get a bit chilly. Marcus, I was wondering if there were any spare blankets anywhere. I don't mean to sound selfish, but it got quite cold in the middle of the night and it was difficult for me to stay asleep. I tried to find some, but couldn't."

Marcus breaks his gaze from me and turns to my brother. A tiny smile breaks out as I bathe in my silent victory. He will probably win many more stare downs, but this one belongs to me.

"There are some spare blankets in the closet at the end of the hallway on the top shelf. They—"

I stop listening as my mind goes to the closet. Thinking about it makes me shiver. That might be where he puts me next. If Caleb wasn't so scared, I'd teach him to pick a lock and get me out of there. Too bad he can't take a hit. He also bruises like a peach.

I bet Tobias became claustrophobic because of the closet. He never could handle small spaces, but I figured that was just a fear of his. I never knew why up until three years ago. I wonder if I could become claustrophobic from the closet. It's possible.

"Beatrice," Caleb says, waking me from my thoughts. I look up to meet his eyes to show I'm listening and he continues, "Marcus says that they have more clothes for us at the Hub and wanted me to pick them up. Would you like to join me?"

"Actually, I was going to help Beatrice tidy her room up. I figured it could give us some...bonding time." Marcus replies quickly but casually.

My eyes widen and my hands start shaking immediately. I look over to Caleb, silently begging him to take me. _Please, please don't leave me alone with him._

Caleb looks at me sympathetically and says, "Well alright, then. I'll be back as soon as I can. But that walk to Hub can stretch long time-wise." He eyes me when he says that it will take long. I take a deep breath, my eyes fluttering shut as my mind accepts my fate. Caleb gets up and walks to the door slowly. I follow, whispering begs and pleas. All Caleb says is goodbye before he closes the door, but he lingers a bit before finally leaving.

"You're going to clean that mess you made," Marcus says. I turn to face him, but he's still in that stupid position that reminds me of my life that was only one week ago.

"The mess _I_ made?" I say angrily. I'm playing with fire, I know I am. _God, why are you so stupid. Clean up the damn blood and get on with it._

He glances up at me through those ridiculous reading glasses and his lips pressing into a hard line. He stands quickly while throwing the paper down on the table. The sudden slap makes me jump. "Are you questioning me, Beatrice?" He says in a strict tone.

"I did _not_ make that mess, Marcus. Just like you _didn't_ rape me, correct?" _Why are you so dumb?_

"You will not disrespect me again, Beatrice." He replies. His hands slowly start to unbuckle his belt.

"I get to disrespect you all I want. You will not abuse and take advantage of my body. Especially when I'm unconscious, you miserable sack of shit." I say just above a whisper. My fear is starting to show, so I make my stare and stance harder and stronger.

He walks towards me. I don't move. His body gets so close that he makes me back up against the door. I keep looking straight as he leans down to my ear and whispers seductively," Don't forget that you're mine now." He pulls away and stares hard at me, waiting for my reaction. _Let the games begin._


	5. A New Day

**Ch 5**

"My name is Beatrice Grace Prior," I whisper to myself in the dark of the locked closet. "I am 16 years old, my home faction is Abnegation. My parents died when I was 15 in a fire that started randomly. My brother's name is Caleb Andrew Prior. My best friend is Tobias James Eaton, his father beat him, now that Tobias is gone, he beats me. I am locked in a closet. My back is whipped. I have been in this house for 350 days. I've been in the closet for 2. In 15 days, it will be the one year anniversary of my parents' death." It's been a year since Max told me I would live out the remainder of my Abnegation life with Marcus. Well, technically 350 days, but who's counting? Facts race through my mind as I shiver. It's cold as hell in here. Ever since Marcus started locking me in the closet, I have been repeating whatever fact pops into my mind. That way, I don't go completely insane and I remember what's real or not.

Everyday I've been here, I've gotten a free beating. Every single day. If I'm in the closet, he takes me out, beats me, and then shoves me back in. Sometimes, Marcus is kind enough to just use the belt. But most days, I get punched, slapped, kicked, _and_ abused with his belt. Although, he does like to use objects such as a vase or chair. He loves to use the staircase as well. Caleb has had to take me to the hospital at Erudite on several occasions. Every time saying that I fell down the stairs, which is half true, because I'm normally thrown or pushed.

Caleb, compared to me, is treated like a God. He is treated like the typical Abnegation son would be. I am only nothing, or so Marcus tells me. So far, he's beat the living shit out of me, raped me, verbally abused me, starved me, locked me in a closet for days on end, and made me sleep outside. It's been torture. But there is no greater pain than the agony I feel losing my mother. She died in a fire. Both my parents did. Caleb blames me and says as little as he can to me directly. He doesn't like to give me attention when Marcus is here because he, too, could get a punishment.

But by this time tomorrow, I'll be gone. I'm going to Dauntless, where maybe I can finally see Tobias. He's my sanctuary, my rock, though I haven't seen or spoken to him in a year. How the hell am I going to tell him that I've been living with his father? How would he react? I guess it depends on his mood. I wonder what he looks like now. A year may be short, but a person can change a lot. Take me for example. My hair has become more golden, if that's possible. I no longer look twelve. But that's not completely my fault. Marcus got serums from Erudite to give me more of a 'womanly' figure for his own goddamn enjoyment. Basically, he continuously stabs me with needles every other day to give me a bigger chest and wider hips. That serum burns like a bitch, and every time he injects me, I immediately become sore. Besides my body, my voice has deepened slightly and my face has matured tremendously. I feel like my face has become prettier. But I hate everything else. Everything else is fake and forced. Or scarred.

I sit with my knees to my chest and my arms tightly hugged around them. My head rests on my knees as I think about anything to keep my mind off my back. The cold wall feels good against it, but it hurts a lot. I start to cry, thinking about everything that's happened, everything that could happen, and everything that's happening. After another ten minutes or so, I hear a loud stomping coming up the stairs. It's too loud to be Caleb, so the only option is Marcus. Yay. After a moment, I see the two shadows his feet create when he stands in front of the door from the sliver of light that comes beneath. Sudden loud banging on the door makes me jump, making my back sting, making me cover my mouth to hide my whimper.

"Are you ready to follow the rules now? Are you ready to listen? Or do you need me to remind you what the punishment is for not minding me?" He booms from outside the door. I shudder and wipe my eyes. The only reason he beat me this time is because I apparently overcooked the stew.

"I am ready to mind you, sir." I say loud enough so he can hear me. The keys jiggle in the hole as a click unlocks the door. Cool air hits my face and light fills the small room as he swings the door open and grabs me by my wrist, yanking me out of my prison cell and onto my side on the floor. The violent gesture brings all the attention to my back. _Asshole._

"Get up!" He screams at me. I pace myself and stand, using all the strength left in my weak, sleep deprived body.

"Yes sir." I whisper once I'm up.

"You smell like shit," he states angrily.

 _Well, it's because I've been locked in a closet for a few days._ "Well—" I start to say, but quickly recover. If I say everything I think, I won't live long. "I apologize, sir."

"What where you about to say?" He growls.

"Nothing sir."

"Are you lying to me?!" He yells.

"No sir!" I say quickly.

"How dare you lie to me!" He says as he grabs the collar of Tobias's shirt and raises his fist.

"The Choosing Ceremony, sir! It's tomorrow!" I scream with my arms up to try and attempt to stop the hit. He lets go of my collar, dropping my feet to the floor. I hadn't even realized that they had left the ground.

"Turn around," he says just above a whisper. I obey, and once I turn, I start to silently cry. He starts to unbuckle his belt, and gladly takes his time. Opening my eyes, I can see Caleb peeking through his door at the other end of the hallway. Caleb watches with fear and pity and I know the hit is about to come when his eyes widen.

* * *

The cold water cascades down my body and makes me shiver. Cold numbs the whips and makes the pain somewhat bearable. It's been a little while since I've had a shower, and I'm loving every second. But being in here brings crappy memories. Once, Marcus tried to drown me. He filled the tub with scolding hot water and held me down by my throat. He stopped before anything got worse, but my neck was bruised and sore for weeks and I couldn't talk. Because the bruise was so noticeable, I wasn't aloud to leave the house for almost months because the bruise was so dark. He tried to _kill_ me simply because his glass of water wasn't cold enough. This bathroom is also where he injects me. He never eases the needle in. Literally stabbing the syringe into my arm is all that has to be done, and within seconds my body will feel sore and I will hurt everywhere.

Caleb and Marcus have already taken their showers today. I am normally the last to shower because, and I quote, 'women can't shower until the men have because woman are the worthless pieces of trash that dirty the earth,'. _His_ words, not mine, and they don't even make sense.

I don't know what time it is, but when I grabbed clothes from my room, I found that it's dark outside. I'm glad because I love to go star gazing once everyone is asleep. It isn't hard to climb to the roof. I like to use Caleb's window because his isn't nailed shut. He never really has much objection as long as he isn't included when I get caught, which hasn't happened in the many times I've snuck outside. I honestly like it when I'm forced to sleep in the back yard. Not during the winter months, but now that it's warmer, it makes me feel okay.

Because of the time limit I have in the shower, I wash as quickly as I can manage with my back and get dressed even quicker. I wipe down the mirror and see my reflection. Marcus never closes or locks the cabinet to the mirror, which surprises me. I look worn, tired, beat, broken. I look messed up in every way. But, in a sense, I actually look...pretty. I smile at my reflection, and it smiles back. Maybe, just maybe, once I'm out, I can be happy. I need to try, anyways. I need to try to live my life. My goal is to not let this experience wedge itself into my life. I will never forget it, but my hope is that it won't effect me too bad.

I glance to my side and see the shampoo bottle and remember my devious plan. I have an idea that would probably get me beat so bad that I would die. Not an exaggeration. I want to get Marcus back. This is only a fraction of a fraction of what he's going to get later, but I've got a prank ready, and Marcus won't be able to do a damn thing about it. Just because I've lost everything and have been abused, it does not mean that I have lost my sense of humor or my need for fun. I stole a bottle of hair remover from a teacher's desk drawer that I brought in here with my clothes. Carefully and quickly, I unscrew the cap on both bottles and pour the hair remover into Marcus's and Caleb's shampoo bottle. I am a woman, therefore I am apparently not worthy of sharing shampoo with the _men._ But this is the time when it comes in handy. As tightly as my hands can muster, I screw the cap back on and shake the shampoo vigorously. Once I'm satisfied, I take the hair remover and head to my room. Later on I plan to discard it on the roof, no one goes up there anyways.

I'm almost to my door when a voice calls my name. I turn and see Caleb poking his head out of his room. "One second," I say. I scurry to my room and quickly hide the hair remover at the bottom of my desk drawer. The sweatshirt Tobias gifted to me hangs on the back of the chair and I put it on. His smell still lingers and I smile. _You're so weird._ The voice in my mind tells me.

"Beatrice," I hear again. I stride quickly out and over to my brother. "Come in." He says and opens his door more. I walk in and sit down on the edge of his bed. Glancing around, I see how plain his room is, but then a bright blue textbook catches my eye. It's hidden between the desk and the wall and isn't hard to notice at all.

"You better hide that well enough to where he can't see it. You know he likes to do random check-ups." I say softly. "What did you need?"

"What are you choosing?" He says suddenly.

"To kill myself with? I'm thinking of a nuse or a gun or maybe—"

"I'm serious, Beatrice. Where are you going?" He groans angrily. His voice stops my breathing, but only because it was so loud.

I stand quickly and rush over to him motioning for him to quiet down while whispering, "Hey, keep it down. If he hears you, we both know it's my ass on the line. Not yours."

"I'm sorry, I just...I just don't know what to do. I don't want to be alone if you leave and—"

"Wait, you're staying?!" I whisper-yell. He nods shyly and I blow up. "You better not stay here, Caleb Andrew Prior. I swear to God that I will hunt you down and drag you with me if you do. Who's going to be his punching bag, huh? Who's going to take the abuse 'cause it sure as hell isn't going to be you. I won't let that happen. I have not taken all your beatings just for you to be a wuss and not leave."

"I don't know where I belong, Beatrice! I don't know what I'm doing. And Abnegation is all I've ever known."

"What did you get on your aptitude?" I question. I got Abnegation, Dauntless, and Erudite. Divergent...the word eats away at me every time it enters my mind. But under no circumstance am I going to stay here.

"Er...Erudite," He whispers so quietly that I could only tell what he said by reading his lips. "You?"

I'm not telling him I'm divergent. That would basically be suicide. He would run out screaming, 'My sister's divergent!'. He can't keep something that big to himself. "Dauntless," I murmur.

"Is that where you're going?"

"...Yes,"

"Where should I go?"

"It's not chemistry class, Caleb! Just go where yo—"

"Actually, I was quite good at chemistry."

"Not the point, Caleb! Just go where you belong and where you will excel and challenge yourself." I snap. He nods his head in understanding and lowers his eyes to the ground. Ever since the death of our parents, I have had an anger for him. He just shut me out. We used to be close, but sometimes I feel like he doesn't love me. He never helps me with anything and he avoids any sort of contact with me. But, I will love him no matter what because he is my brother. I choose to love my brother, not this person he is now. With this silence, I get a good look at him. He's at least fivw inches taller than I am, and he resembles our father a great deal. He has also become more handsome. I wouldn't be surprised if he found a woman beautiful enough to be a goddess. I hope this experience hasn't fucked him up as much as it has me.

Without thinking, my arms go around his shoulders and I hug him. He is hesitant at first, but then wraps his arms around my shoulders, being careful of my wounds, and rests his forehead on my shoulder. I feel him squeeze his eyes shut and his grip gets tighter.

"I love you," I whisper into his ear.

"I love you, too." He whispers back.

Loud knocks come from the door that makes us jump apart. _Damn you! He actually said he loved me and he hugged me. You just ruined the only sibling moment I will ever have with him. You ass._ I think angrily. The door swings open and Marcus's angry gaze immediately finds me.

"Didn't you hear me call after you, Beatrice?!" He growls.

"N..no sir. I didn't, I apolo—"

"What are you doing in here?" He says, cutting me off.

"I..uh..I was discussing dinner with Caleb, sir." I say.

"We already had dinner!" He snaps.

"I apologize, I was not aware. I'll be leaving now," I say while walking past him and through the door. "Goodnight, sir. Goodnight, Caleb. I'll see you both in the morning."

As I walk past him, Marcus grabs me by my elbow and lifts half my body up. "What's this?!" He yells. I turn my head to see him pointing at Caleb's hidden book. Caleb's eyes fill with pure terror.

"I hid it, sir. As a joke!" I say trying to pry his fingers off my arm. He lets go and I stumble to the floor. Quickly, I turn around and sit on my butt to look up at him. But the second I turn, a belt cracks across my face and I fall against the floor. How did the belt not catch my attention. There's no way he got it off in time to hit me. I'm usually pretty good at seeing things. I scream out in pain as he grabs my arm once more to make me look at him.

"You thought it would be funny, huh? You're a comedian now?!" He bellows. For once, I'm actually really, really scared. "You think that's funny? Yeah? Well I'll show you funny!" He violently throws me over his shoulder and walks down to my room.

"Caleb! Caleb, help me! Please, Caleb! Please! Help me!" I scream as loud as I can while thrashing around as hard as my body will allow. There's too much adrenaline in me to feel any pain, so I fight harder than I normally could. Caleb's face is covered in tears and he mouths ' _I'm sorry,_ ' and closes his door. My heart breaks a little as I cry and scream. Marcus hits me hard on my back and it makes me growl from the sting. We trudge into my room as the last 'Caleb!' rings out. Marcus chucks me onto the bed so hard it makes my head snap up causing a sharp pain in my neck. He crawls on top of me and holds me down by my wrists. I close my eyes, and think of where I'll be tomorrow by this time. I'll be free. Just one more night. _One more night._

* * *

Golden clumps shine in the bathroom light as they slowly glide to the floor. Marcus pulls the comb down my wet hair and cuts along the teeth to make it as even as he can manage. Eventually, he pulls my hair into a loose ponytail that hangs at the nape of my neck. I watch him silently in the mirror. He's so focused, such a determined look marks his face. Every time he makes a movement that's sudden, I avert my eyes and stare at the floor. Marcus could be handsome, if he kept himself and didn't have such a fucked up mind. I believe that he enjoys to inflict pain among people who can't fight back, he is a sadistic maniac. I will never love him, never trust him, never show any remorse when he finally passes. Forever, a deep-seeded hatred will grow bigger and bigger.

"Beatrice," he says in a scolding tone.

I meet his eyes in the mirror and say, "Yes, sir?"

"Don't be profane. There's no need to look in the mirror."

"I apologize, sir." I say, keeping my eyes on his.

"What faction will you be choosing?" He questions, his eyes immediately turning hard.

"Abnegation," I lie. I've gotten better at lying. I can just come up with anything on the spot.

"Abnegation...what?"

"Abnegation, _sir."_

Aggressively, he _twists_ my hair until it bends on it's self and secures it with a tan hair-tie. Then he glares at me in the mirror. "You will _not_ disappoint me, Beatrice. Once you choose, you will come straight home and pack your bags to go to the initiates center, understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"Tell Caleb the same."

A long silence passes until I finally say, "Sir, Caleb doesn't need to know." A sudden burst of courage climbs through my veins as I glare at him in the mirror.

He returns the stare and says slowly, "And why not? Caleb is going to stay here. This is his home."

"This is _no_ home. He will go where he pleases." My tone his hard and firm, my face is straight and shows no sign of fear, my shaking hands tell otherwise. But I stay strong. He can hurt me as much as he wants. He will _not_ hurt Caleb.

Marcus puts a large hand on the back of my neck and squeezes hard. He leans close to my ear and whispers, "Watch yourself, girl. You are lucky that we have to leave soon," His fingers dig into my neck and I bite my tongue to keep quiet.

"Beatrice, are you ready?" Caleb calls from the bottom of the stairs.

"Am I ready Marcus?" I ask angrily. His eyes send fear throughout every part of my body. After a few seconds, he releases me and and shoves me roughly towards the door. I rub my neck as I descend down the stairs to meet my brother.

"It's a good thing you didn't take a shower this morning." I say with a small smile as I finally reach the bottom and look around for my jacket.

" _Why_? What did you do, Beatrice?" He asks, his voice telling me that he's irritated. I whisper to him my plan and watch as his eyes widen. When I'm done, he shakes his head and starts laughing softly. He has such a nice laugh.

"Sir, may me wait outside?" I call up to Marcus.

"Just start walking, I'm taking a quick shower and I'll meet you there." He calls back. I give Caleb a knowing look and he tries to hold in his laughter.

We walk down together, talking randomly, talking about nothing. It's like we were never estranged. I miss this. I miss having someone. But of course, he had to choose the last day we had to start being my friend again.

"What do u think he's going to look like?" He asks laughing.

"A goblin," I reply laughing harder.

* * *

The rest of the walk was slow, but only because we made no hurry. It was the first time in so long that I felt loved, especially by my brother. We actually bonded and I had a family again. But now I sit in one of the many rows that hold kids about to decide their future. Caleb and I are at the bottom of the list of names because of our last name, and he will go first because he's older. At the moment, we are awaiting the arrival of Marcus who will lead the Ceremony this year.

Every now and then, Caleb and I will whisper to each other. I'm in the middle of asking about where he thinks he's going to go when a man walking in grey catches my eye and I stop talking. The second I get a look at him, I explode into a fit of silent laughter. Caleb follows my gaze, and laughs harder than I do. Marcus's hair is completely gone. He's bald. No buzz cut, just shiny and hairless. We calm quickly after a glare from Marcus. I look over to Caleb to find him look over at me and we start giggling quietly.

Marcus's speech is long and tiring. Seemingly endless. The second it ends and he starts calling names, panic sets in and I grab Caleb's hand from his lap and hold it. I see him look at me from the corner of my eye, but when he smiles and clutches back, my heart beats at a much more normal pace. I close my eyes and feel his hand. _Please don't leave me._ He's the only family I've got left, I can't lose him. I turn my head to look at him and squeeze his hand. He gets the message and looks at me. My eyes water as I say a silent goodbye. His eyes water too and he squeezes back.

"Anastasia Prolls," Marcus's voice booms. He's in the P's now. My head turns to watch a girl from Amity walk up to the bowls. Nervously, she slices her hand and stares longingly at the Candor bowl. Eventually, she chooses Amity and quickly walks back.

Name after name, child after child, cut after cut. Then the name "Caleb Prior," catches my attention. The boy next to me stands, holding my hand and stills his movements, thinking hard about something, making a decision. I look up at him, clutching his hand for dear life. After a few seconds, he looks at me, pulls me up by my hand and hugs me. Tightly.

"I love you, Beatrice Grace," he whispers, "Please don't forget."

"I love you, too," I say crying. I give him one last tight squeeze and sit down, the warm feeling of his hand replace by tingles from falling asleep.

He walks down the steps and up to the bowls. I steal a glance at Marcus. He is _furious._ And he is glaring at me. _This is how to get him back,_ I think, _public humiliation._ It's perfect. He is the epitome of Abnegation to others. All he cares for is his image. This could be another part of my revenge. _What else could I do?_

Caleb stands there a long time. Finally, he cuts his hand and it hovers over Abnegation. He looks over his shoulder and finds me. Ever so subtlety, I shake my head _no._ His head turns back to the bowls, and right before the blood is about to drip, he moves his hand to the bowl that holds water and the blood falls. _Erudite._ Suits him. My brother steals another look at me while he walks over to the Erudite section and smiles. I smile back, but it disappears when I hear a shocked voice stutter, "B...Beatrice Prior." I look at Marcus. His face is priceless; he is absolutely astonished.

I get up and walk down the steps carefully. My hands shake and I absentmindedly bite my lip. Once I reach the bowls, I meet Marcus's angry gaze. I grab the knife and stare at it. _I can't do this._ When I breath out, it comes shaky. But then anger reaches my heart and I suck in my breath. I look up at Marcus and hold his icy eyes. I never look away while I reach behind my head and release my ponytail from its bun. I don't look away while with one hand I hold my hair down, and with the other, put the knife underneath my thick hair and begin to saw. My smile appears when his eyes widen and his jaw drops. Gasps and murmurs fly around the large room, but I'm too happy to care. A giant weight lifts from my head as the bundle of hair, kept together by a hair-tie, falls to the floor. The hair still attached to my head breathes and falls to frame my face. I look down to my hand and slice my palm deeply. Blood immediately pools in my hand and I don't hesitate to pour it all onto the hot coals.

Everything happens in slow motion. I'm handed a rag for my hand as I walk to the cheering Dauntless teenagers. I smile politely and sit down. Millions of things run through my mind and I notice nothing. Soon enough, the Ceremony ends and I don't focus on any one thing. I just follow the Dauntless outside in the bright sunlight. We run to the train tracks and wait for the train. I notice them chatter about nothing as I wait. They are all so carefree, I strive to be like them one day. My lips curl into a smile at the thought. My hand starts to sting and I look down and see that the rag I was given is completely soaked.

Suddenly, I notice people pushing by me and look up. The train's here and I run with all my might. My legs and back immediately start to hurt, but I run anyways. Kids start jumping on and I still can't find the courage to do the same.

"Grab my hand!" A tall Candor girl yells to me. She hangs from the train door, her hand reaching to me. Gratefully, I take it and she pulls me on. I stumble once I land, my momentum pushing me forward. Thankfully, the Candor woman keeps a tight hold on my hand and refuses to let me fall. Once I steady myself, I look to my savior and say, "Thank you."

"Of course! That was quite a show you put on back there..." she pauses, waiting for my name.

"Beatrice," I say without much thought.

"Christina," she says with a wide smile. Christina grabs my uncut hand and shakes. Then she leans against wall of the train and slides down. After a second or two, she looks up at me and pats the wooden spot beside her. A smile breaks out on my face and I sit. Slowly, I press my back to the cold metal and rest my head against it as well.

"I really like you're haircut," Christina says to me.

It's only now that I realize how short my golden hair is now. It's length only reaches my jawline. It's most likely uneven, but I like the new length. I wonder if Tobias will like it. _Tobias._ The very thought of his name makes me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. I finally, after all this time, get to see my Tobias again. Though, he may not be mine anymore. He might have met someone. That thought makes my heart break. What if he has found someone? Will he still want to be with me, or even talk to me? Will he still want my friendship? Or has he outgrown me?

"So, you're pretty brave for a stiff. I think you'll make it at Dauntless." Christina says, waking me out of my unhappy thoughts.

When I look at her, I get a chance to observe her and see her round, brown eyes and light brown skin tone. She is taller than I, most are, and her hair is just about an inch longer than mine. I make note to remember her awesome smile. She's really nice, but seems just a bit pushy. Almost all Candor are. I bet she's brutally honest, that's a good and bad quality to have in a friend. But she's not my friend, I haven't had a friend in a year and I probably won't get one until I'm more comfortable.

"Listen, Beatrice," she says, breaking me of my study of her. "I like you. You seem pretty freaking awesome. And I'm guessing that you don't have a million friends waiting for you at Dauntless, so would you like to be mine?"

 _I withdraw my previous statement._ Her invitation brings me pure joy. I've never had many friends. My only friend being Tobias, I spent most of my time with him. "I would love to be your friend, Christina." I say with a giggle.

The train ride is slow. Christina asks many questions. Questions about my life, dreams, crushes, etc. I don't answer any personal ones, like any that could tell about my parents' death or about Marcus. And I'm grateful that she doesn't push.

"We jump in thirty seconds!" A Dauntless man covered with tattoos yells.

I look over to Christina and she gives me the exact same look. _What the hell?_ We get up and walk over to an open door. I hang out and watch building after building pass by with blurred colors. Then I hear yelling and screaming. When I look to see what all the ruckus is about, I notice black blobs jumping out, then I see other colors following their lead.

"On three?" Christina yells over the loud blow of the wind. I nod quickly and take her hand.

"One," _close eyes,_ "Two," _deep breath,_ "Three," _jump!_

Together, we tumble onto a graveled roof. My back wails in pain as I bite my lower lip. When I open my eyes, I see Christina sitting up and looking around, the white part of her clothes dirtied and ripped. Her short dark hair tangled with tiny rocks and her face smudged with dirt. I sit up as well, my back hurts but I start to laugh silently. That sets Christina off and we laugh together.

"Initiates!" Booms a voice from behind. We stand and walk over to a familiar man standing on the edge of the ledge. "I'm Eric," he starts, and his familiarity reveals itself. _Eric. My bully. Great..._ This is just fantastic. My first fucking day of freedom and I find the person who hates me most in the world. "Welcome to Dauntless! You have chosen well, but now, we choose you. And your first test," he points to the ledge behind him, "is to show us what you've got. The only way to get to Dauntless is by jumping down—"

"Is there, like, water at the bottom or something?" A tall Candor boy asks.

Eric glares at him for interrupting and stares him right in the eye while saying, "Well, I guess you'll just have to find out. Any volunteers? Or are you all just too... _stiff_?" His gaze shifts to me, a sadistic smile etching on his face.

Everyone stays silent and stares at one another. Only seconds pass before a voice says, "Me," When people turn their heads to look at little me way in the back, I know that it was I who voiced the volunteer. Eric looks at me skeptically, like he thinks I'm going to back out. Instead, I march right up to that man and stare him straight in the face. His smirk fills me with hatred. He doesn't think I can do this. _Ha, watch me._ I step up on the ledge and peer down only to see a bottomless pit. _One...deep breath, two...close eyes, three...jump!_ I turn and fall backwards, a gasp escaping my lips as I plummet. I feel the way the air moves against my body. The sensation calms me. Without thinking, I stretch my arms out, such as a bird, and let gravity pull me. Then, a snap rings out and my back feels like it has caught aflame. I open my eyes and see that I'm being cradled by a large net. The landing surprised me, so much that a large laugh runs out of my mouth and fills my ears.

I flinch when something warm finds my hand. Looking over, a hand holds mine and works to pull me out of the net. I sit up as best I can and crawl to the edge. A very handsome boy grabs me by my underarms and lifts me from the net as if I were a small child. He stands on a tall wooden platform that appears way too unstable. Once he sets me down, I look up at him and can't stop what whispers through my teeth. "Tobias," My eyes widen at what just came from my mouth, but my heart races at the hope. He resembles him so much, the blue eyes, full bottom lip, brown hair, hooked nose.

He looks at me as if I were mad. "Excuse me?" He asks. His deep voice makes my heart stop. Realizing I'm being crazy, I embarrassingly shake away the thought. I feel my cheeks redden as I look down at my twiddling hands. This isn't Tobias. This man can't be younger than twenty. He's far too tall and definitely in amazing shape. But I must admit, this man is _very_ pleasing to the eye. His voice it beautiful, and I have the sudden urge to keep him forever. "What's your name, stiff?" His voice dripping with irritation. When I say nothing, his tone becomes softer as he says, "Choose a new one, but make it good. You won't get to choose again." My eyes reach his and butterflies go crazy inside of me.

I take this to heart. Beatrice is gone. She isn't here anymore, she left. Bea is only for Tobias and no one else. I think hard, and before I can decide, words jumble out of me. "Tris. My name is Tris,"

He nods slightly, as if he approves or something. And I do not miss the tiny smile that forms when he looks down at his feet. "First jumper, Tris!" He yells to the gathering Dauntless below. He turns to me, "I'm Four, welcome to Dauntless."


	6. Life as a Dauntless

Tris(POV)

"I'm just saying, he didn't have to be such a dick." Christina rants as she fills her plastic bin with clothes.

"What did you expect?" I say casually. I sit on my cot with my legs crossed. "You did make fun of his name." I bite into my apple and crunch loudly. I already finished putting my clothes into my bin, which is underneath my cot. I burned my Abnegation clothes, everything except the sweatshirt Tobias gave to me. That is hidden at the bottom of my bin.

"You're defending him?! How dare you!" She yells playfully.

"All I'm trying to do is see it from both sides. You insulted him. How did you want him to react? Like an Amity?"

"Whatever. I still don't think it was justified." She mumbles in defeat. I chuckle and munch more into my apple.

"Hey Stiff!" Someone yells from behind me. I turn my head and see one of the transferred Candors, Peter. "You like eating that apple? Wanna eat something else?" He laughs while gesturing to his crotch.

"Sorry! We're not into bitch-ass wimps!" Christina yells back while she holds her middle finger up proudly. I roll my eyes and continue to eat my apple contently. Christina strikes conversation while she folds the clothes she was given. We talk about our old lives, except I lie. As far as she knows, my parents are heathy and alive. I'm a wonderful person and has had nothing bad happen to me. To her, I'm perfectly fine. In reality, I'm broken. Every time I breathe, my back aches. Every time I get touched, whether someone's walking past me or someone taps me, I jump and raise my arms up in defense. Christina passes it off as me being jumpy, but she doesn't know really how deep it goes; I'd like to keep it that way.

"It's almost dinner," Christina says looking up at the clock attached to the stone wall. "Ready to eat?" I nod and get up. Together, we head to the cafeteria.

"Hey, Christina, right?" An Erudite says as he catches up to us. He looks familiar. I know him. I know I do.

"Will?" I say as I stop short. He stops as well and stares at me.

"Uh, yeah," he says nervously. "Do we know each other?"

"It's me, Beatrice. I got a concussion a year ago!" I say with a smile. That's it. I woke up for a millisecond. I would remember that voice anywhere. I'm amazing with voices, horrible with faces.

Will steps back and looks me up and down. Then he comes closer, bundles my short hair in both hands, and holds it back. "Beatrice!" He exclaims. "It is you!" He releases my hair, but hugs me, tightly. I struggle to keep in my whimpers and hug him back. I didn't think that he would hug me. I've never spoken a word to him. Ever. "You look good with short hair! And, well, conscious." He laughs. I laugh too and look him over. He has blonde hair that covers his forehead and green eyes. Will is about two inches taller then Christina and his smile is bright and lively.

"I was told that you were studying to become a doctor!" I say as painlessly as I can.

"Yeah, well." He says shyly. "I realized that I want to be a doctor, but Erudite isn't where I belong. I'm thinking that I can hopefully work in the infirmary."

"Oh, well. I hope so too." I reply.

"Will, do you want to sit with us? It's not like we're super popular." Christina says.

"I'd love to." Will says, his hand rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. Tobias. Tobias used to do that. I make a mental note to search for him once we get to the cafeteria. He has to be there. For the rest of the walk, Christina and Will talk non stop. Amazingly, she seems oblivious to him hitting on her. He obviously has a thing for her, how can she not notice? She's a Candor for God's sake.

We finally reach the double doors to the cafeteria and walk through. As we walk in, I scan the room and focus on every individual that could possibly be Tobias. I'm disappointed when I don't find him. Maybe he's at the fence? That would make sense. They come back, so when I hear that a group has returned, I'll have to be extra attentive to people. _Yeah, he most likely is at the fence_.

Christina wastes no time getting us all a seat at one of the many tables. I sit to the right of Christina and Will sits directly across from her. They grab plates and Christina hands me one. I suspiciously grab everything Christina grabs. At one point, she grabs two pieces of bread and plops something brown on one piece, and pushes the other piece down on top. I try to act like I know what I'm doing by doing the same. I hold it the same way she holds hers, and inspect it.

"It's beef," a deep voice says beside me. I whip my head to the right to see Four, my instructor. _Was he watching me?_ I blush a deep crimson at my stupidity and set down the sandwich. He slides a bowl of red sauce over to me and says, "Put this on it. The burger will taste better." Four sits casually, drinking his water and munching on one of the carrot sticks on his plate.

"You've never seen a burger before?" Christina asks in amazement. I nervously shake my head no.

"Abnegation eat plain foods, Candor. The most exotic thing she's ever had is probably salt." Four snaps.

My head is lowered, so my face is covered with my short hair. I smile the biggest I have in a year. Eventually, I look up and spread the red sauce all over my burger. I take a deep breath, which hurts, and bite. Instantly, I moan at the intense flavor as my mouth waters.

"Do you like it?" Four asks. _He's still watching me?_ I nod and set the delicious sandwich back down on my plate.

Suddenly, a hand hits my back aggressively several times and I jump. I bite my cheek on the right side to hold in my yelp as I grip the bench I'm sitting on. My breathing quickens and I feel my heart beating quickly in my chest. My back is on fire, and it hurts more now to breath. They won't move their hand, and I'm to afraid to do anything because I don't want the hand to make my back hurt more by moving.

"Isn't this cute! The Stiff is trying to be Dauntless!" Peter calls out loudly behind me.

Will and Christina protest the direct contact and threaten him. His hand is pushing aggressively into my back, but I keep my eyes closed and try to keep my attention on my breathing. But all I can focus on is trying not to cry from how bad this hurts. I grit my teeth and hold as tightly as I can to the bench until my arms start to shake. I look over to my friends to see their attention focused on the asshole behind me. But when I look over to Four, I see him staring at me with a look. A look that shows suspicion. I don't register what the others are saying. All I can focus on is my back and the man who is staring at me. Then, Peter hits my back, hard, three more times before laughing and walking away. I bring my hand up to my mouth and bite down on my palm.

"Hey, don't listen to that douche bag," Christina says. "He's probably self conscious about the dick he doesn't have."

Christina and Will both burst out laughing. But I simply fake a smile. Looking down to my lap, I hold my own hand tightly and take deep, slow breathes. They're shaky, but they help me calm down. I feel eyes on me, so I turn to my right and meet his gaze. We watch each other, nobody moving. Eventually, he tilts his head to the side and frowns at me.

"Al!" I hear Will yell, but I hold Four's eyes. It's almost like we're having a conversation. I hear them talking about factions, and how both Al and Christina were in the same classes.

"Tris," Christina says. Reluctantly, I lift my head and wear my best smile. "This is Al, my friend from Candor. We've been in the same class every year since I was nine." She chuckles. I pace myself and reach my arm across the table and shake Al's large hand.

"Al, before today, Tris has never had a burger!" She exclaims loudly. I roll my eyes and look down at my lap again.

"Jesus Christ, Candor." Four says, his tone dripping with frustration. "We get it, she's never had a burger."

Christina shuts up immediately and continues to eat her food.

Minutes pass, and the silence grows uncomfortable. I decide to break the tension. "So," I say turning to Four, my nerves rising by the second. "Were you a transfer too? Or Dauntless born?"

He gives no emotion when he says, "Does it matter?"

"No, I was just wondering." I reply sheepishly. "An instructor is a seasonal job, right? What do you do besides this?"

"What makes you think you can talk to me, Stiff?" He replies defensively. That escalated quickly.

I take a moment to let the shock leave before saying, "The fact that you're so approachable, like a bed of nails." _Idiot! Idiot, idiot, idiot!_

Four squints his eyes at me. Moments pass and in an angry tone, he murmurs, "Watch yourself." Then he gets up and leaves.

"I have a theory," Christina states after Four is out of hearing range.

"And what is that?" Will asks.

She looks at me and says, "That you have a death wish." It's only now I realize that I'm breathless.

* * *

Tomorrow, it will be the anniversary of my parents' deaths. In two days, it will be the anniversary of my first beating. I've already decided that I'm going to sneak out of the compound and visit their graves. But I haven't figured out how. Initiates aren't aloud to leave the compound without a Dauntless member. I don't know any Dauntless members besides Four. Or Eric. I know Max, but I haven't seen or talked to him since the day I went home with Marcus. I don't know where he is or where the leadership offices are. I can't ask Max even if I knew where he was because he could be accused of showing favoritism towards me if he took me. Same with Four. I've got to do this on my own.

I look over to the clock that shows in bright red numbers 5:30 AM. I have an hour and a half before training starts, so I just get up and dress as quickly and quietly as I can.

Training has been brutal. In the last two weeks, I've been failing at everything. I can't hit to save my life. And I believe that either today or tomorrow is when we're having fights with each other. So, I'm going to die. I'm limited on how much I can move; the scabs on my back start to crack or pull on my skin. It's hard because everything I do hurts so bad that I start to cry. But I keep my head low and pay no attention to the throbbing.

I walk mindlessly around the empty compound, but my main destination is the training room. Maybe I can practice a little on my own and not have Peter constantly in my ear. Honestly, that kid is the definition of aggravating. Although, he is the only one who really gives me trouble. With the exception of his two goons. Besides them, I'm friendly with the other initiates. I do, however, hang out with my own little group. Will, Christina, and Al are my closest friends. They're the only friends I've attempted to make.

"Hey!" A boy yells as he runs up next to me. I cross my arms around myself protectively. "You're that girl, the one who cut her hair, right? The first jumper?"

"Yes," I say shyly. "I'm Tris," This boy is attractive and I can already tell that everybody likes him. I don't know his name and I already want to be his friend. He has dark hair cut short and dark skin. His brown eyes are large and full of fun.

"Uriah," he says, his hand taking mine from around me and shaking it. "So, what are you doing this early?"

"I could ask you the same question."

"Dauntless born get up earlier."

"Oh, that sucks. I was just walking around. I was up, so..." I reply trailing off. "You're a Dauntless born, right?"

"In the flesh!" He says with a wide, toothy grin. "Last name's Pedrad. Yours is?"

 _Should I tell this boy my name? It's not really his business, but would it really hurt?_ "...Prior," I say after a while.

Uriah stops. "You're Beatrice Prior?" He asks in disbelief.

"How did you know?" I ask.

"My dad was one of the Dauntless who was at the fire," he says grimly. "He died half a year ago."

"I'm so sorry," I say, still shocked that he knew me.

"It's fine, at least someone knows what it feels like." He replies with a shrug.

"Uria-"

"How come you call yourself Tris instead of Beatrice?" He asks, silencing me.

"Beatrice doesn't really sound daunting, does it? And Beatrice is an Abnegation name, I left that life behind. Plus, it reminds me too much of my mother." I say.

"Oh," he replies, not really knowing what to say.

"Have you told anyone? About your parents?" He asks. _Damn, Uriah wastes no time getting to the personal stuff._

"I'm sad that you know. I don't want people pitying me or treating me different because I'm an orphan. We both know that what happens in a faction stays in the faction. Personally, I'd like to keep it that way."

"Wow, okay," he says. "Well, I'll keep your secret for you. I'll take it to my grave!"

"Thank you." I say laughing.

"So, you have any friends yet?" He asks casually.

"A few, I guess. Why?"

"Just curious. As you can guess, I have a few too."

"Well, you grew up here. I would be surprised if an extrovert such as yourself didn't have friends."

We walk and talk for a few minutes before a girl yells from an open door beside us, "Uriah! Get in this training room before I throw your ass in the Chasm!"

"Jesus, Lynn! You scared the cake outta me. I'll be there in a second!" Uriah calls back to her.

"Uriah," she growls, "now!"

He rolls his eyes hand starts walking towards the door. Uriah turns to me and continues to walk backwards while saying, "See you later," then, in a low voice, continues his sentence with a wide smile, "Prior."

Chuckling, I say, "See you later, Uriah."

I walk forward but then Uriah yells my name and turn to him. "My close friends call me Uri!" He says, then zips in the door.

I smile, and whisper to myself, "Okay Uri,"

I quietly hum to myself as I walk through the double doors to the training room. Glancing at the clock, I see that I have more than an hour before people start showing up. I pick out a punching bag and stand next to it, glaring at it. Eventually, I tear off my sweatshirt and leave myself in a black tank top that hugs me perfectly. But I'm afraid that it shows my too much of my back, and I can't ask if it does because then people would find out about the abuse. If I had longer hair, I wouldn't worry as much. But because it appears to be only me here, it doesn't matter. I tuck my short hair behind my ears and get into the stance that we've been taught to hold. I throw a punch, but the bag barely moves. I punch it several more times, but the bag still won't move. I'm about to throw another punch, but a voice freezes me.

"You're not going to make it move. Not punching it like that." Four says as we walks up to me. The sound of his voice startles me, but at the same time, makes me feel warm. I turn to face him, in case this tank top shows more than I'd like it to.

"Thanks," I say sarcastically.

"Why are you here?" He asks.

"Am I not aloud to be in here?" I ask. I thought we could. I mean, they never told us we couldn't.

"Not usually, but you could use the extra practice." He replies. I bite my tongue to keep my mouth shut. "Why are you awake this early? Did you get up so you could get more practice?"

"No, I just couldn't sleep. And I wasn't aware that we weren't aloud in here, I'm sorry, sir." I whisper. _Sir? SIR? What is wrong with you?!_

" _Sir_?" He questions, looking at me skeptically.

"Reflex," I say as I look down at the floor. "I'll leave and go back to the dorms."

I turn and bend to get my sweatshirt that I threw to the floor. Then, he asks a question that shakes me to my core.

"What's on your back, Tris?" He asks casually. _Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit._

"Why?" I say, grabbing my sweatshirt quickly and whipping my body around. Without thinking, I strengthen my stance and lose tension in my arms. Something I used to do at the house because then I could bring my arms up to protect my face quickly. Why are you doing it now?

"Well, normally, I wouldn't ask. But when Peter hit you at the lunch table, it seemed like it hurt more than it should've."

"Does it matter?" I ask in the same tone he used with me two weeks ago. He squints his eyes at me. _He's going to hit me._

"I'm going to ask you one more time. What's on your back, Tris."

"Does. It. Matter?" I reply, my anger rising.

He glares at me, but I'm not afraid. This man has no right snooping around in business that isn't his. Finally, he says, "No, I guess not. Go back to the dorms and stay there until it's time, got it?"

"Yeah," I say, my tone as icy as my scowl. "Got it."

"Good, get out."

And with that, I quickly walk out. But the second I'm out of the doors, I drop to the floor and lean against the wall with my knees hugged to my chest. For a brief second, I was sure he was going to hit me. Without my permission, tears well up in my eyes. But they don't fall. I sniffle once, then get up and wipe my eyes. I will not cry. This is ridiculous! Why am I crying? Angry, I trudge around the compound before I eventually give up and go back to the dorms.

* * *

"Today, we will begin fighting with each other," Eric bellows. I stand in the far back with my arms crossed. "Because we have an odd number, one of you will not be fighting today. Tris!" He yells. My eyes find his and he says, "You will not be fighting today." I don't respond, I just look back down to the floor.

"First up," Four says, "Christa and Molly." Four wears a tight black t-shirt that shows off his muscles and black sweats. His arms are crossed, like always, but I can't help but notice how big his arms are. He stands in the same stance he always does when he's in the training room, but instead of just intimidating, it's also attractive. What the hell? No! Stop it!

"It's Christina," she grumbles angrily to herself. I look down at the floor to hide my smile and watch as she steps up to the mat.

I'm still embarrassed from this morning. He saw my back, the most hated part of my body. Apparently, that tank top can't be worn by itself. Although, I'm not sure how much he actually saw. But most of all, I can't shake the feeling that he was going to hit me. I don't think he would. Would he even get in trouble for hitting an initiate? This faction is ruthless, yes, but would it really stand for an older man to hit a sixteen year old girl? Max wouldn't allow that, but Eric would. Eric doesn't give a shit. Eric's a dick. Everyone at this faction is a dick, it seems.

I watch Chris and Molly, one of Peters goons, circle the mat. Molly is the only person who really makes any moves and Christina avoids them all. Finally, Christina throws a punch to Molly's head, but she dodges and punches Christina's stomach. I stand on the tips of my feet and have the urge to go help her. I want to, but I can't.

They continue to circle each other, but Eric has had enough. "Fucking hit her!" He yells. I'm not quite sure who he just yelled to, but it distracts Christina because she turns to him. The second she turns back, Molly punches her in the face and she falls to the floor.

"I'm done, I'm done, I need a break," Christina gasps as she holds her bleeding nose with one hand and props herself up with the other. Eric looks up to Molly and jerks his head to the side, signaling her to back off. Molly drops her arms and walks off the mat and stands with Peter.

Eric drops to a squat beside Christina and, in a voice he would use to speak to a child, asks, "You need a break?" She looks up to him and nods. "Okay," he says, still using his little-kid voice. "Come with me."

He helps her up and motions us to follow as they start walking away. I've got a bad feeling about this. I'm at the front of the group, this way I'm closest to Christina. We walk down the halls as Eric leads Christina by her arm to an unknown destination. I look over to Will, who is a few people across from me, and ask a wordless question with my expression, _what is he doing?_ He simply shrugs, a worried look plastered on his face.

I look behind me and find Four. His expression is hard, but I can tell he's worried. Not even our instructor knows what's going on, that's a bad sign. I look forward to try to see where we're going, but all I can see is endless hallway. But then I hear water. We're near the Chasm. Four said that people have committed suicide by leaping into the Chasm. At the bottom is rushing water and jagged rocks. No one could survive a fall like that.

Four passes me and walks in front of me. He blocks my vision, but I don't need sight to tell that the sound of the Chasm is becoming closer. Soon, we're walking to the entrance to the infamous death hole. The railing that runs along the left side of the bridge is weak and rusted. The right side doesn't even have a railing, just remnants that tell that there once was a railing. Eric motions for us to stay at the beginning of the bridge and we all stop as they continue to the middle. Four is still in front of me, but he stands sideways next to the stone wall.

I look around Four's chest to see what's happening. Eric puts the hand he isn't holding Christina by on her back, and I know what's about to happen before it does. I watch as Eric pushes Christina off the edge of the bridge, but holds her by her hand.

"Christina!" I scream as I start run to her, but Four holds his arm out and catches me by my waist before I can make it to her. I look up to him and glare as hard as I can. Slowly, he shakes his head no. My breathing is quick and loud and my hands shake.

"If you want to quit," Eric says, "then say so. But if you quit, you're out." I hear Christina make sounds, but she tightly grips the side of the metal bridge. It's more like a giant grate. "You will hang there until I say you're done." Eric continues.

I try to go to her, but Four doesn't let me. His body is beside me, facing me with his back facing the wall. His arm is across my body and his hand grips my waist. Tingles go up the side he's touching and I open my mouth to let out my held in breath. He looks only at me, like he can't bare to watch and is looking for literally anything to stare at. I face the entrance to the Chasm with my legs spread apart and my shaking hands balled in fists. My head is turned to him as I glower at him. His face is calm but his blue eyes are angry. He doesn't like this any more then I do. But Eric is a leader, he holds more command than Four does.

His blue eyes are captivating and so familiar. I've seen this man. Maybe at school in the hallways, or walking by him in the city. I don't know where, but I know I have seen him before. I watch his eyes dart around my face. I can feel heat rush to my cheeks and I realize that he's still holding me. But somehow, I feel like I'm closer to him then I was before. I break my eyes away from his and look down to confirm. My feet are closer to his then they were before. I can feel his heat radiating off of him and I can feel it through my shirt from his arm. Finally, I think he comprehends that he's still holding me because his arm drops and he shrinks into himself and won't look at me. _Is he blushing?_

"You're done." Eric says. This snaps me out of whatever that was and I run to her and drop to my knees. Will is beside me in a second and grabs one arm while I grab the other. Together we pull her up until her legs are on the walkway and she falls into me. Will stays beside us and rubs her back while she cries into my shoulder. One arm is around her and the other is still gripping her arm. I look into her hand and see that she has a deep gash from the upraised side of this giant grate. She starts shaking vigorously and I drop her hand to hold her with both arms.

"It's okay, you're okay." I whisper. I glance up to Four. He hasn't moved an inch, nobody has besides Eric. He's gone. With an angry voice, I ask, "Can I take her to the infirmary?"

He nods and says, "You're all dismissed." Everyone leaves, but Will and Four stay still.

"Can you stand?" I ask and she nods. Will stands up and bends over with his arms outstretched for her. I gently push her into him and he pulls her up. Instantly, she grips onto him for dear life and cries into his neck. Her hands and legs shake, and for a second I think she'll fall, but Will appears to be holding her up. I stand and my black leggings are ripped at the knee and blood starts slide down the black fabric. I groan in frustration.

"Do you need me to show you where the infirmary is?" Four asks. I say yes and go next to Christina. Grabbing her hand and throwing it across my shoulder, I nod and Four starts walking.

We follow and all I can hear is Christina's voice shaking as she asks, "How long was that?"

"332 seconds," Wills says without hesitation. We all look at him and shyly, he says, "About five minutes."

"It seemed longer than that," she says. Her voice is shaky but she isn't crying. She sniffles a few times and I notice blood drip from her lifeless hand. _What did I get myself into?_

* * *

"What the hell was that?" I ask angrily as I run after Four. Will and Christina are inside getting her hands wrapped.

Four turns and glares at me. "Be careful how you talk to me," he growls.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I say sarcastically. "I'm just wondering what the hell that was! He can't do that can he?"

"He can do whatever he wants," he snaps, "He's the leader. If he felt it was necessary, it was."

"She could've died!" I yell, "You call _that_ necessary? She could've _died_. But, oh, because you're Dauntless, you don't give a sh—"

"Hey!" He barks. "Watch it!"

"Why are you okay with this?" I ask, my temper showing in my tone.

He debates on whether or not to answer. Then he murmurs, "I'm not." Then, he says in anger, "Now go be with you're friend, tomorrow is Visiting Day so we don't have training."

And just like that, he walks away. _If he's not okay with it, then why does he let it happen? And why did he hold me like that at the Chasm?_ I shake the thoughts away and throw the door open to the infirmary. Will and Christina are laughing as I sit next to her bed. She sits with her legs crisscrossed and her elbows resting on her knees. Her hands are wrapped and an IV is in her wrist.

"They gave you an IV?" I ask.

"Yeah, they said that they wanted to get my water flow back on track."

"I should go back to the dorms. I'll see guys later." Will says.

"Okay, bye Will!" Christina says.

"Bye Will, see you later." I say. He waves goodbye and walks out of the curtain. After a moment, Christina starts giggling like a mad woman.

"Are you okay?" I say as I watch her laugh hysterically.

"Are we best friends?" She asks while still giggling.

"I'd like to think so, yes." I say. At the moment, I'm kind of afraid of her.

"Then can I tell you a secret?"

"Of course," I reply. Is she on some kind of medication?

"I like Will," and she starts giggling more. "I'm afraid he doesn't like me though,"

"Are you kidding me!" I scream making her jump. "He has been making moves ever since he met you! Jesus Christ Christina, are you sure you're a former Candor?" She simply begins laughing. But her laughing triggers me and I start laughing too. Together, we laugh for no reason.

Once we calm down, I say, "I'm glad you're okay, Chris. I was seriously about to knock Eric's block off, but Four held me back."

"I noticed," she says. "I was looking for Will, but I saw you and number boy having a 'moment'. Seriously, it was hot."

"Shut up," I say laughing.

"You totally have a thing for him!" She accuses.

"I do not! No way!" I say quickly.

"Oh yeah? Why?"

"Why? He's a jerk, he's older then me, he's our instructor, he is obviously an imbecile who can't feel any emotion whatsoever because he's too focused on being a badass to feel anything. He's snippy, he's always angry, he's hot, he's—"

"I knew it! You think he's cute!"

"I do not, I just, I—"

"Shut up, you think he's hot! Admit it!"

"I don't I ju—"

"Admit it!" She screams.

"Okay, okay, I think he's...decent. But that's it. I can't like him."

"Why? Because he's our instructor? Psh, that's nothing."

"No, that's not it,"

"Then what?"

 _Should I tell her? It couldn't hurt right? I just won't say his name._ "Because..." I take a deep breath, look down at my lap, and whisper, "because I came here for someone."

She's silent for way too long, but when I look up to her, she exclaims, "WHAT!?"

"Christina! Shh, keep you're voice down!" I whisper-yell.

"How come I have not heard of this? And you came here for a boy? A boy? Are you mad? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard! You are seriously the smartest person I know, besides Will, but that was a fucking idiotic choice! What if it doesn't work ou—"

"He's not the only reason I came here, Chris! He's just...a bonus." I say with a smile.

"Oh my God, you are totally blushing right now. Tell me about him! What's his name?"

"I can't tell you his name,"

"What? Why?!"

"Just because, do you want to hear about him or not?"

She pouts for a moment before saying, "Okay, okay, go!"

"Alright, well. He was my best friend. We grew up together and spent all of our time together. We never kept secrets and could always tell when the other was lying. I used to sneak over to his house at night and spend the night with him," I say smiling at the memory.

"When did you start doing that?" She asks, completely invested in this topic.

"Um, I was thirteen? Yeah, thirteen. And oh my gosh, when his dad would check in on him, he would make me either go back out the window or hide under the bed. He was so protective. And i always saw him as a little more then a friend. But I was too scared to say. So that went on until it was a few days away from his Choosing Day. He is a year older then me, and I made sure to spend my every waking second with him. Well, I snuck into his house and we slept in the same bed. Now that I think about it, it was kind of weird since we weren't anything but best friends. Anyways, I fell asleep and woke up to him saying stuff like, 'I love you,' and, 'You're everything to me,'. I though he was rehearsing lines for another girl. I couldn't think of any that he had a crush on, but I was heartbroken."

"When did you realize that you loved him?" She asks.

"The day before my fifteenth birthday. He took me to our favorite tree and gave me a piece of cake that he took from Amity. He didn't steal it, he asked for it, but the fact that he took the risk of getting in trouble just for me, ugh, I just, I can't explain it. It hit me so suddenly and that was when I knew that I was in love with my best friend." I say, my smile wide and my heart beating quickly at the thought of Tobias.

"Okay, go on with the 'I love you,'" she says excitedly.

"Okay, then, he leaned down next to me, kissed my cheek, and whispered 'I love you.' And I couldn't breath. I remember my eyes shooting right open and my mouth hanging down. And without thinking, I sat up and said I loved him. He sat up too and looked absolutely petrified that I'd heard him. It was adorable. When he was so in shock, and after a minute, he asked what I said. I couldn't believe that I said it either, but I knew in my heart that it was true. So I simply said I love you again. And that's how we started. We got together not even a week before he had to leave." I finish.

Christina looks at me with wide eyes, and all she can say is, "Okay, I've got questions,"

Laughing, I say, "Shoot,"

"Okay, you where fifteen? Why didn't you tell me? You had a fucking boyfriend when you were fifteen?! Why did he leave? He's here? Do you know where he is? Have you met him yet? Did you guys have sex? Did—"

"Christina!" I exclaim while blushing furiously. "Okay, that's it. That's all you get to ask for now. I was fifteen. I don't know why I didn't tell you, I apologize. Yes, I had a boyfriend when I was fifteen. He left because I wanted him to be happy and he wasn't happy in Abnegation. He wanted to stay for me, but I talked him out of it. Yes, I'm preying to God that he is here. I don't know where he is and I haven't met him yet. And no, we didn't have sex. The furthest we ever got was kissing. That's it!" I say it all in one breath. It's very loud when I suck in another and she just looks at me with wide eyes.

"...wow." She says. "You're not done yet, tell me more!"

"Why do you want to know Christina?" I ask.

"Because we're best friends and as your best friend, it's my job to know about your love life. This is the most amazing love story I've ever heard! You guys where rebellious lovers in a faction that doesn't accept affection for Christ's sake! I want to see if I can help. Plus, you're the only girlfriend I have and I like talking about girly stuff with you." She finishes with a smile.

I've never been friends with a girl. I always spent time with Tobias and the girls never really accepted me for whatever reason. It's hard for me to open up, but I need to be brave; for my mom and for me. It's okay, she likes me, we're friends. Best friends. I can finally let my guard down. I smile back and simply say, "Okay, what do you want to know?"

* * *

 **Okay! And that's the end! this was kind of a filler chapter, but it had some fun events! Please, leave a review and tell me what you think. I'll always accept constructive criticism. I hope this chapter wasn't too all over the place and I hope that it made sense. Until next time!**


	7. Lost and Found

**Tris(POV)**

Christina shakes me vigorously with her bandaged hands and repeatedly says my name. Groggily, I pry my eyes open and groan loudly. I lay face down in my cot and both my arms hanging over the edge with my finger tips skimming the cold concrete floor.

"She lives!" I hear Will roar beside me. Christina laughs in response but continues to shake my body.

"Christina!" I growl into my pillow, "Quit it! I'm _up,_ "

"Will, did you hear something?" Christina giggles, still shaking me.

"She's going to murder you, she hates mornings." Will says. I can feel him move away and sit on the cot to my left. "Seriously, Chris, you're pissing her off. I'm not going to rip her off when she attacks you this time."

Christina doesn't stop. After five seconds, I shoot up and glare at her. Her eyes widen and she slowly gets up, her hands held out in front of her body in defense. Then, I lunge. Christina squeals and sprints away, but I'm fast and catch up quickly. When I'm close enough, I pounce on her, causing her to fall. Straddling her torso, I'm able to hold her down and tickle her sensitive spots. All she can do is howl in laughter and kick her legs.

"Damn it, Christina! I told you!" Will scolds walking up behind us.

"Will...Will, get...her off...me!" She says in between laughs.

"You asked for it, Chris." Will replies. His arms fold against his chest as he leans against the wall and watches us wrestle on the floor. After a few minutes, we calm down. But I'm still tired, so I playfully go limp and fall on top of her.

"Ugh," Christina grunts, "you're killing me!"

"Oh, whatever. You shouldn't have woken me up." I mumble, my eyes becoming heavy.

"Sweet, some woman on woman porn," Peter says cockily as he walks in. He goes to his cot and grabs a black jacket with red lining the seams.

Christina shoves me off of her and sits up saying, "Can it, Peter." Peter simply chuckles and walks away.

I sit up from my spot on the concrete, yawning and stretching. "Why did you wake me up?" I ask.

"It's Visiting Day, dummy! I'm so excited to meet your parents! Are they nice? Will they like me?" Christina responds, her mouth rambling.

 _It's Visiting Day._ My parents died a year ago today. I don't remember what time, but I know it was morning. All these images run through my head. The burning pictures, the clouds of smoke, my mother's blood on the ground. Her under one of the support beams while another had lodged it's self in my father's brain. I remember when the house collapsed on it's self. The dust was like a heavy wind and blew my hair all over my face. I was covered in a thin layer of grey from the dust and it was so loud I fell to the dirt road. It's almost as if I can feel it right now. That feeling of disbelief and sadness. The feeling of being alone.

" _Chris,_ " Will scolds. Christina's mouth stops running, and I notice tears streaming down my face. I can't stop the sobs that find their way to my throat, I can only hush them by covering my mouth with my hand.

"Tris," Christina says pitifully, "What's wrong? Are they not coming?"

I simply shake my head and continue to cry into my hand.

"Candor!" A deep voice booms, "in the..." He trails off when he sees me balling. I look up through teary eyes and see Four no more then five feet away standing by the entrance, his face suddenly filled with worry. He looks at me like that for a another moment before shaking his head as to clear a thought and continues his sentence. "In the pit. Your family's here."

I move my eyes to Christina. She looks at me curiously, then sighs and says, "Okay. Bye guys." All three of us watch her leave and when she's gone, I cry even harder. Both my hands cover my face as my shoulders shake.

After a moment, I look up just in time to witness Will and Four share a silent conversation.

Immediately, I stop crying and wipe my face. My arms wrap around myself as I take deep breaths. I'm suddenly embarrassed. I don't really share my emotions publicly.

"Awe, is the Stiff okay?" Peter asks coming back in to the room. I notice that Will looks worried, but Four just looks annoyed. Neither Four or Will say anything, but I'm pissed.

"Oh, fuck off, Peter." I snap and stand up.

Peter looks at me slowly and dramatically. "What did you say to me?" He asks chucking.

I say nothing. Peter walks up to me, and I don't miss the way that both Four and Will's posture becomes stiff as they take a protective stance. They both look ready to pounce if anything happens.

Peter stands no more then an inch away, his nose almost touching mine. He leans in to my ear and whispers, "Watch yourself, girlie. That mouth of yours is gonna get you hurt."

"Did you just _threaten_ me?" I ask. My courage rises by the second.

"Maybe," He responds in a seductive voice.

Then, he aggressively grabs my upper arm and pulls me even closer to his face. "Fuck with me, Stiff. I dare you."

Suddenly, a flashback enters my vision and I see Marcus. He's about to hit me. My heart races and my breathing stops. I close my eyes and shake my head. When I open them again, the image is gone. I angrily push him off me and before I can think, my palm connects with his cheek. " _Do not_ touch me." I growl. And before he has time to react, I push past him and quickly walk to the entrance. Four stands further from the entrance than when he first arrived. He looks at me as I pass him and for a moment, I think he will grab me. It certainly looks like he wants to.

After a few minutes, I start running. I run everywhere and nowhere. I run until I can't breathe anymore, then I start running again. I run until finally, I find an exit. _You must have a Dauntless member with you to leave the compound. If you are caught without one, you will be kicked out from Dauntless._ Eric's words zoom through my mind. I could get kicked for this. But I have to leave. I need to see my brother. And I _am_ going to visit my parents. I don't care if I am permanently removed from Dauntless, it's worth it. I'm about to push open the door when a voice stops me.

"Tris!" Will yells running around the corner. He runs up to me and breathes heavily. "What are you doing? Are you leaving?!" He screams.

"Shh!" I whisper while putting my hands on his shoulders.

"Are you leaving?!" He repeats quietly. His eyes are wide and a vein bulges out of the side of his neck.

"I'm coming back, okay?!" I whisper-yell.

"Where are you going?"

"Cover for me. Promise me you'll cover for me." I plead.

"Okay, okay! I promise. But wher—"

I pull him into a hug before he can continue and whisper, "Thank you." And before he can respond, I run out the door.

* * *

I ride the train until the Erudite compound is close. Taking a deep breath, I leap from the train onto a grass hill and stumble forward. "This is crazy," I whisper to myself. After a brief moment of silence, I start walking towards the Erudite building. The compound is tall and made of glass, which shines in the morning light. More like the eleven AM light.

Men and women in blue stare at me like I'm a monster as I get closer. Nervously, I walk through the pristine glass doors and up to the front desk. A fair skinned blonde girl with short hair and a tight blue dress sits upright at the desk. She types eagerly and gives her full attention to the screen in front of her.

"Excuse me," I say politely. She simply lifts one hand off the keyboard and holds up one finger all while continuously typing with the other hand. "Excuse me," I say more firmly.

"One second," she replies, her hand returning to the keyboard.

After another minute, I snap and slam my fist on the marble counter that's level with her head and say loudly, "EXCUSE ME!"

She looks up with shocked eyes and rakes her eyes up my body, noticing I'm Dauntless. Her green eyes take me by surprise and I realize that this has to be Will's sister, Cara.

I take a deep breath to compose myself and remove my fist from the counter. "Do you know where I could find Caleb Prior?" I ask in a slightly more annoyed tone then the one I used before.

"Uh," she says, "yes? I'll take you to him."

"Great," I reply with a fake smile.

She gets up and walks toward the elevators. I follow and keep my head low, trying not to make eye contact with any of the Erudite who are staring at me. We enter the elevator and she pushes a button that says _78_ in bold letters. We fly to the top floor and I can't take the silence any longer.

"You're Cara, right?"

"Um, yeah. How do you know my name?" She asks nervously. I can see Will in her.

"Your brother, Will. He's one of my best friends. He talks about you all the time." I say smiling.

"Really?" She asks, her face lighting up.

"Yes. He misses you like crazy. Why didn't you visit him today? You do know it's Visiting Day, right?"

Cara takes a deep breath as she stares out the window. Quietly, she says, "My parents forbade me from ever speaking to him. They said that if he wanted to leave his faction, then he would also leave the family."

"Oh, that's horrible. I'm sorry to hear that." I whisper. I don't really know what to say. Gently, I ask, "Do you miss him?"

She bites her lip before looking at me with teary eyes and a soft smile. She breathes her words, "Every day." A single tear falls from her left eye.

The elevator doors open and we walk out. Cara takes me down a long hallway of doors until we finally reach one that reads _Prior._

"Thank you," I say.

"You're welcome." She smiles. Cara turns to leave, but stops abruptly and looks at me hopefully. "Could you, uh, do me a favor?"

Unsure, I look at her nervously. "Yes?"

"Tell Will I said hi. And that I love him. There's not a day that goes by where I don't miss or think of him,"

"Of course," I say. She smiles and walks away.

Once she turns the corner, I look to the door and close my eyes, my hand in a fist ready to knock. Why am I nervous? I shouldn't be nervous. This is Caleb, my brother, my blood. I know him, I love him. He loves me. I shouldn't be scared. _Be brave._

I knock three times and wait a second. I'm about to knock once more, but the door swings open and my hand freezes in mid air. I can feel my mouth go dry.

"Beatrice?" He asks, his eyes squinting through his glasses.

"...Caleb?" Slowly, he nods.

"What are you doing here? You can't be here, Beatrice!" He scolds. He grabs me by my arm and pulls me into the room, closing and locking the door.

"Hello to you, too, Caleb." I reply snarkily.

"I'm serious, Beatrice." He says angrily, "What are you doing here? It's not safe for you here."

"I don't care. We have to leave soon, before they notice I'm gone."

"What do you mean, Beatrice? Leave? Where would we go?"

I stare at him in shock. "Do you not know what today is?"

"It's Visiting Day, I know. I'm sorry I didn't come and—"

"It's not that, Caleb," I snap, "our parents died a year ago today. How could you forget that?"

He sucks in a deep breath. "That," he says with disgust.

"Yes 'that'!" I yell in fury.

"Beatrice, why are you focusing on that? We need to follow the rules and do as we're told. You need to go back."

My heart beats quickly as my fists ball up. "What do you mean 'why'? They're our _parents_ , Caleb."

"They were! But they're dead."

My throat goes dry. It takes me a moment before I can respond. "I cannot believe you just said that."

" _Go back_ ," he sneers. "Before you get caught."

I can feel my eyes begin to water. My nose becomes runny and I fight to hold in my cry. "Well, as long as you don't get in trouble, it's okay." I reply shakily.

"Oh, don't do this. Don't turn this into that." He groans while rolling his eyes. _What happened to him._

I stare at him as my eyes over flow with tears. They roll down my face and onto my shirt. Soft cries leave my body, but I hold my stance.

"You're pathetic, Beatrice. Compose yourself. Act like a lady!" He scolds. _Is he serious?_

I suck in a deep breath and glare at him. "Oh hell no." I whisper. "I am your _sister._ You will not talk to me like that. I don't care what faction you're in or what title you have. Our parents did not raise you to be a disrespectful ass. What happened to you? Are you 'too cool' to come see our dead parents? Are you too cool to love the only family you have left? Are—"

"This faction is my family no—"

"I'm not finished!" I snap. He immediately closes his mouth. "Are you so cold hearted that you purposely hurt me even though I've done everything to protect you?"

He opens his mouth to protest, but I beat him to it. "I took your beatings. I took all the blame. I helped you clean, I helped you when kids were mean to you. I helped you make friends. I helped you cook. I calmed you down from your panic attacks. I was there when you cried about Mom and Dad. I was there when Marcus yelled at you and I brought his attention to me." I close my eyes and finish in a low voice, "I'm the reason you have _no_ scars _anywhere_ on your body. And yet, you treat me like this."

His mouth is open when I look up at him. A long minute passes and he still says nothing. One more tear falls from my eye and I turn to the door.

"Beatrice wait," he says.

I unlock the door and turn to him. "Goodbye Caleb." I stare at him for a moment, my head held high. With that, I walk out of the room filled with tears and mad words. I walk even quicker down the maze of halls. But the second I get into the elevator, I scream in pain and anger. My chest cries for comfort. Tears wet my face as I attempt to quiet my crying with my hand. My body falls against the glass and I slide down to the floor of the elevator. I pull my legs up to my chest and cry into my knees, preying that no one comes into the elevator. My eyes begin to burn but my face and neck become cold as the cool air from the vent rushes to my wet cheeks. I cry harder with every second that passes.

Abruptly, the elevator stops and I look to the red numbers above the door. _38\. Great._ Two men with formal blue suits walk in with a brief case in one hand and a mug in the other. They stare at me and I stare right back. I'm no longer crying, but I continuously sniffle and breath heavily. Eventually, the men turn around and start uncomfortable conversation. I turn my head to watch as we descend to the ground. People in blue stroll around, rushing to different buildings. Some care for plants. Others talk and sip what I can only assume is coffee. A few sit with computers in their laps.

The elevator beeps loudly as we reach the ground floor. The two men walk out as quickly as they can, looking over their shoulders at the Dauntless girl crying in the corner of an elevator. I wipe my nose with my black sleeve and stand. The Erudite still watch me when I walk out. I must look so out of place. So different.

Cara sits at the front desk holding a phone in between her head and her shoulder while she writes something down on a yellow sticky note. Her eyes catch sight of me the second I walk by her, probably because she's so accustomed to seeing blue in her peripherals that the black shook her for a second. When her eyes meet mine, I can literally feel her pity hit me. She finishes up on the phone and hangs up. Cara leaves her seat and slowly approaches me, as if she were approaching a wild and dangerous animal. Again, I begin crying. When she sees this, she begins walking faster to meet me.

I shake my head slowly and hold my arms out in front of me while backing up. Then, I run. Her voice screams to me to wait, but I run. I shove every person who walks in front of me out of my way. My legs burn as I cry and it becomes harder for me to breathe due to both the sudden excursion and my sobbing, but I run. Running from my problems is something I shouldn't do. I'm mad at myself. I'm mad at Caleb and at Chris and at Peter. I'm mad at my parents. I'm mad at Marcus.

It isn't until I run into a tall boy with grey clothing on that I realize I'm in Abnegation. I suddenly know where I'm running. My legs slow down once I reach my street, and stop once they reach rubble. They never really cleaned it up for whatever reason, I'm not quite sure why. The cowards just left it there as a constant reminder that I'm alone.

My parents are dead. That's it. They were here, and then they weren't. Just like that. The only thing left of them is a broken house and a rock with words on it by an old tree.

"Beatrice? Is that...is that you?"

I spin around to see the boy I ran into a minute ago. Now that I look at him, I recognize him as Robert. Robert has always been a shy kid, and we were friendly with each other. His sister, Susan, is quite nice as well. Susan and I had more in common the me and Robert had, but that didn't stop Robert from taking every chance he got to talk to me. We are the same age, so we were in the same classes. Robert had more school time with me then Tobias did, and he used that to be friends with me.

"Robert," I say turning around and wiping my nose and face.

"Are you alright? What are you doing here? Is something wrong?" He asks worriedly.

I glare at the rubble, my chest huffing in both anger and lack of breath.

"Why are you breathing so heavy?" Robert asks walking up next to me. I look over to him. His face is sweet and innocent.

"I...um...I sprinted all the way here from Erudite while balling my eyes out." I chuckle sadly.

"Why were you crying?" He asks gently.

"Why did they just leave this here?" I ask jerking my head to my destroyed home.

Robert looks at me sympathetically before saying, "I think they left sit as a tribute to two of the kindest and most selfless people in this faction."

I chuckle in an irritated and angry way. "Bullshit."

"Excuse me?"

"Who would be able to give the order to remove," I wave my hand at the rubble, "all of this?"

He shakes his head, as if shaking away a thought. "Um, most likely Marcus. He's the faction leader."

 _It makes so much sense._ "The asshole!" I growl as I pick up a rock and throw it as hard as I can at the demolished property. Robert stands there, a scared look on his face. He isn't quite sure on how to handle this, it's plastered all over his stance and face.

"Didn't you know this was still here?" He asks carefully. Marcus's house is just a block away, it would've been hard not to know. But I avoided this place like the plague.

"I didn't get out much." I murmur.

He says nothing.

I stand at what was once my doorway. This is my last goodbye. After this, I won't come back to this place, not unless I have to. I say a silent goodbye to all the memories, all the laughs and conversations that were held here. A thank you to the house I grew up in that I had to leave so unexpectedly. This was my home, it will always be my home.

I feel my eyes water once again and angrily blink away the feeling. I crouch down to a big chunk of concrete from the structure and lay a hand on it.

"Beatrice," Robert whispers from behind me. I keep my focus on the concrete. "I can't even begin to imagine what your going through. But I know it must be hard. I just want you to know that you are so strong and...beautiful. I want you to look for the small miracles in the whirlwinds. You're not alone. You know that deep down. It might feel like it, but you're not. You have me. You have Susan and Tobias. You have you. And I can promise you that it's going to be okay." He rambles on a bit more, but I get the point of his talk.

I stand up and face him, my movements silencing him. His cheeks are red and his face is sweaty from the heat, but he otherwise is a very good looking kid. He's sweet.

I pat his shoulder and whisper, "Thank you, Robert. I needed to hear that."

He nods in response and I start to walk away. Robert begins to protest, but then I turn to him and wave, giving my widest and brightest smile. When he returns it, I face my body to a space between two houses and run in between. I run to the forest.

* * *

It takes only an hour to find the meadow in which my parents are buried. I haven't been here since the funeral, but I can immediately remember the tree. It's a tall and thriving oak whose leaves are just beginning to shift to autumn colors. The sun hits it beautifully, but the tree is breath taking at sundown. I remember because I refused to leave and it took all day to finally drag me away from here. The view was the only thing that calmed me. It was to precious, so beautiful, so amazing that it made me feel like my parents were still with me. The sky is already gorgeous at sunset, but with the tree, it just makes you speechless. The sight gives you this feeling. This feeling of okay. Of joy and happiness and love. The setting sun glows through the leaves and branches. The grass glows and the wood on the trunk almost becomes a softer color. Next year, I must come at sundown.

I drag my feet up the tree and fall to the grassy ground. Brown, wet leaves from last year cover the pair of headstones that I know are there. I move away the leaves with a swoop of my arm to reveal two grey slabs.

 _In loving memory of_

 _Andrew J. Prior._

 _A loving husband and father_

 _A leader of Abnegation_

It then says the dates of his birth and death. I'm sixteen and my parents were seventeen when they had Caleb and almost eighteen when they had me. It just hits me that they were only in their mid thirties. My parents were too young. Reluctantly, I look over to my mother's stone with teary eyes.

 _In loving memory of_

 _Natalie L. Prior_

 _A loving wife and mother_

 _A kind and caring mother to all_

It says the same thing. Is this all that happens to people when they're dead? A rock and some nice words? This is all people have to remember them by? My parents were wonderful people. They took care of others, took care of each other. My father wasn't the most loyal person, my mother wasn't the calmest of people. But they still did way more than necessary to help other people even if they didn't deserve the help.

I close my eyes and lay on my back in between the two headstones. I breathe in through my nose and listen to the wind rustle the leaves of the tree above me. Above us. The sudden urge to speak to them overcomes me. So I don't even try to stop the words that escape my mouth.

"I don't really now how this works," I begin, "But I'm just going to wing it. It's just me here. Caleb, for whatever reason, didn't want to come. I feel like he owes it to all three of us to be here, don't you think?" I pause for an answer. I get none.

"I transferred to Dauntless. Dad, I know that wasn't exactly the vision you had for me, but I really think I belong there. I haven't seen Tobias yet, and I'm preying that he didn't get kicked out of Dauntless during his initiation. I miss him. You both know how much I cared about him. It's been so long. So long since I've seen him or heard his voice. Felt his warmth or tasted his kiss," I suddenly realize what I just said and cover my gaping mouth.

"Oh God, I'm sorry. That just slipped out. Jesus, I'm so embarrassed. Ugh. If you didn't know already I'm guessing you know now that Tobias and I kind of dated. In secret, of course, God forbid he even look at me in some romantic or loving way in that wretched faction. Cat's out of the bag, now, I guess." Somewhat of a laugh leaves my body.

"There is this guy, though." I whisper. "It'll never work, but he is so attractive. He's a bit of a dick, but I think I'm forming feelings for him. And I can't help this feeling that he pays a little more attention to me then anyone else. I could just be crazy. I think I'm so attracted to him because he reminds me so much of Tobias. But he's different, and in a good way. I just refuse to act upon these thoughts because I'm waiting for Tobias. I'm just so confused on what I want. Christina, my best friend, has brought up the fact that maybe I'm waiting for nothing. She makes a good point, though I don't want to accept it. Maybe she's right. Maybe I should keep my options open. If I look at this logically, Tobias's squad should've been rotated through the compound by now if he was in the position of guarding, which most Dauntless are. There are other jobs though. I've looked in the tattoo parlor and other businesses like that. I don't know how many other jobs there are and I doubt he'd take a leadership position, he'd have to see Marcus during leadership meetings. Do you think I should move on? I don't want to, I don't. I don't want to let go that easily. If I find I do have some real feelings for Four, I don't know what to do. He's extremely private and I've got problems of my own. Who knows if he'd accept how broken I am.

"Speaking of which, I'm guessing you know about Marcus and what he's done to me..." I take a long pause. Too long. My entire mouth dries and my body readies itself to begin crying yet again. "I'm really fucked up," I fight to hold in my tears. "I have really bad anxiety and my nightmares get worse every night. I dream that he hurts me, or you, or Tobias, or any if the friends I've made. Sometimes," I can hear my own heartbreaking in my voice, "my hands shake so bad that I have to excuse myself from where I'm at to a more private place and calm myself down. My panic attacks happen almost randomly. My hands shake, my breathing quickens, my heart beat is faster then anything." I break down now. I turn on my side, facing my mother's stone and cry into my hands. My legs curl up closer to me as my sobs become louder.

"There's this one nightmare I keep having," I murmur, "one where I'm one my bed at the house and there's some kind of glass shield that goes around the bed, locking me in. Then fire just starts outside of my little sheld and I begin to bang on the glass. I scream for help and kick and punch, nothing works. Then, you, Mom, you walk in. More like glide in. You're wearing you're favorite grey dress with your hair down. You're on fire. You glide in facing the wall, then your body turns and your eyes find mine. At this point, I'm shocked. I call your name, but you don't respond. I bang on the glass to try and save you. But you just stare at me. And when I call your name again, your mouth opens and you scream. Scream a scream louder than anything," I can hear the scream now. Her scream sounds so painful and so torture felt, that it makes the hairs on my arm stand and sends a shudder through my body. "You scream for me to help you. Then blood pours out from your mouth, nose, and eyes. Your scream turns into a maniacal laugh. Then the dream is over and I wake up."

I take a deep breath to compose myself. I experience it almost every night. And every time she looks the exact same as the day she died. My memory has become fuzzy of her. But in the dream she is so clear that it's almost like I saw her a day ago. I look at my watch. The bright blue numbers read _3:07 pm._ I should go back. People might be looking for me and I should leave now if I want to catch the three thirty train.

"I should go now." I whisper. I sit myself up on my knees and press a hand to both of the headstones. "I love you both _so much._ There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think of you. You two will always be remembered by me. I hope you find comfort in that. Both of you mean the world to me. I'm sorry that I've been avoiding this meeting, but I've had a hard time dealing with this." I use the headstones to push myself up to my feet. I kiss both of my hands and press my fingers to the cool stone. "Goodbye." I whisper. Then, I turn around and leave.

* * *

I like the feeling of being alone on the train. Here I can talk out loud or laugh to myself without seeming crazy. My back is to the metal wall just inches away from the open door. My legs are stretched out and crossed at my ankles. It got hot, so I hold my jacket on my lap. The cold metal feels amazing on the exposed part of my back. Warm air hits my face and flicks my short hair all around. My hair is barely long enough to pull back into a ponytail, so I rarely ever do it. I like the feeling of my hair whirling around, though. It makes me feel free.

The compound is getting close, so I stand and lean against the side of the open door. It's getting closer to winter, so the days have been becoming shorter. The sun looks lower than usual and the sky is a beautiful golden color. This is the happiest I've been in a year. I feel so good. So good about myself and where I'm at. I'm still below the line of rankings, but I'm doing better then when we first started. For a moment, I have a brief feeling that I'm going to be okay. I'm going to make it. I _can_ do this. Lately, I've had the want to give up. To just leave and become Factionless. I don't want give up. Not easily.

It would be a smart idea to enter the compound using the net. Who knows who's lingering around the other entrances. I'm really hoping that no one is in the net, otherwise that would be a very uncomfortable entry.

I jump from the train and tumble onto the gravel rooftop. Sharp little rocks jab me everywhere. I should've put my jacket back on. That was a stupid decision on my part.

"Ow," I mumble. "Stupid tank top." I stand and squint over the edge of the roof. I can't see if there's anyone down there.

"Coming down!" I yell. I wait a moment and step onto the edge of the roof. A smile forms on my lips as I jump feet first into the hole. I level out halfway down and land on my back. The snap of the net stings my arms and the top part of my back. I didn't put my jacket on again. _Dammit._ And just like last time, I laugh. The feeling of the fall scares me shitless, but is so amazing and fun.

I lay in the net for a minute. My eyes closed and my body relaxing. I can hear birds from above and the soft rumble of the nearby Chasm. I don't want it to, but my mind keeps shifting to Four. I picture him simply picking me up and out of this net with ease. He's strong. I like his dark brown hair and his blue eyes. And I never fail to notice the ink that curls up his neck. I wonder what his tattoo is and how low it goes. My eyes shoot open as I feel heat rush to my face. My hands cover my cheeks as I laugh at myself.

After a few minutes, I sit up, quickly pull on my jacket, and crawl to the rim of the net. It takes me a second to figure out how I'm going to get down, but then I think I have a solid idea. I'm a small girl, there's no denying it. But that never stopped me from jumping from the second story of a house. So I use the same movements I used when I left Tobias's house. I roll over on my belly and push myself down until my legs are hanging over the edge of the net. My hands find the end and grip tightly. With one final push, my body is off the net, but my feet miss the platform. Something of a gasp escapes me but my hands never loosen their hold. My feet dangle right next to the wood. So close that my shins hit the side of the platform.

"Alright." I say breathless. My feet find the platform and I regain my balance. I walk down the steps of the platform and look at the net triumphantly. Another laugh falls out.

But my laugh stops short at the sound of his voice.

"Well, well, well," he says, "look who decided to join us. I didn't think you had the balls to leave on your own. But I guess I was wrong."

I turn to face him, my hands shaking slightly.

"You do know what the punishment is for leaving the compound without a Dauntless member is, correct?"

I nod my head.

"Then pack your things. You're out." He turns to leave, but my courage decides to reveal itself.

"I think you're forgetting something,"

"Oh, and what is that?" He asks as he turns to face me.

"You're not head leader, Eric. You can't kick me out. Only the head leader has that authorization."

Eric glares at me, his hands curling into fists and his nose scrunching up. I have the urge to laugh.

"You're smart for an idiot." He sneers. Eric grabs me by my arm and pulls me along as he practically runs. I continuously stumble over my feet and he manages to hold me up.

We enter the leader offices and I catch sight of Four walking out of the office that says _Head Leader Maxwell Quinn_. He freezes and stares at me. His brows furrow together and his mouth hangs open only slightly. His body twitches, like he was going to start sprinting towards us, but decided against it. I watch him until I'm thrown into a room.

Sitting at his desk over a piece of paper is someone who I've been looking desperately for.

"Sit down!" Eric snaps. His hand finds my shoulder and pushes down, forcing me to sit in a black chair. Max looks up at me then at Eric, simply disregarding me. _He doesn't recognize me._ I feel my heart break.

"What now?" Max grumbles as he signs whatever he's looking at.

"Found this one entering the compound after a day out. This is the one Jeanine called about."

 _She saw me, she knew I was there._

This catches Max's attention. He looks up at me. Defensively, I cross my arms over my stomach and slouch in my chair. I look anywhere but Max's face.

"What where you doing outside of the compound?" Max asks. He's using his 'leader voice'. I say nothing. "What where you doing at the Erudite compound?" He says, his voice raising.

"Visiting my brother," I whisper.

"Speak up!" Eric growls as he hits me on the back of my head.

"Visiting my brother." I say louder.

"Why?" Max asks.

I don't respond. I don't want to cry anymore. I'm so done with crying. But my eyes sting with oncoming tears.

" _Why_?" Max asks again.

I look up and meet his eyes. "To bring him with me to visit my dead parents."

Max's face softens immediately as he sighs and looks down at his freshly signed paper.

"Oh, boo hoo. That still doesn't give you permission to leave." Eric says. "I'll help with the paperwork for her removal, Max."

"I'm not kicking her," Max says looking up at Eric who's behind me.

"What?" Eric gasps in disbelief.

"I'm. Not. Kicking. Her." Max says. I fight to hold in my chuckle, but fail to hide my smile.

Eric walks around me to Max's desk and points at me. "She left without telling anyone. And without a Dauntless member, I might add. She must face consequences. We don't go easy here. We must keep—"

"If I do recall correctly," Max snaps, stopping Eric's mouth from running, "I did the same thing for you while you were an initiate, Eric."

Eric glares at him, defeated. A second later, he shifts his glare to me. Then, he storms out without another word.

"I'm sorry for your loss." Max sighs.

"Don't be." I murmur. I want to see how long it takes him to realize who I am. I glance around his office, looking at the decorations and pictures. My heart nearly stops at the sight of one picture. It's a picture of me and him. My body is on his left side, my head on his shoulder and my arms around his shoulders. My hands meet on his right shoulder. One of his hands is holding on my arm that's across his chest while his arm is round me. Our smiles are so happy. This was taken in the meadow that now holds my parents. I'm twelve or thirteen in this picture. He hasn't aged much since then.

"Who's that?" I question, jerking my chin to the glass frame that sits on a shelf behind his chair.

He turns in his chair and looks at the picture. Then back at me. "My daughter." _Daughter._ I smile.

"What's her name?" I push.

He hesitates, but answers. "Beatrice."

"She doesn't look like a Dauntless born."

"She's not, but she sure as hell acts like she is. She curses like one, answers like one, is brave like one." He smiles.

"Is she here?" I ask.

His face turns from happy to grim. "I don't know. I was busy during her Choosing Day and I haven't really had time to look at the initiates list or shadow during training."

"Oh," I grumble.

The room is uncomfortably silent.

Minutes pass and I can't take it anymore. "You've _got_ to be messing with me, Max." I say fake-annoyed.

He looks at me curiously. "What?"

"This is really disappointing," I say as I get up from my chair. "You would think that if you consider me as your daughter, then you would recognize me,"

He looks at me like I'm crazy. But after a split second, I can see in his eyes that he knows it's me. His mouth drops as his eyes widen. Realization hits him and he drops his pen.

"Honestly, Max, that's some bull. It hurts me." I say jokingly.

He gets up from his seat, shock still written all over his face.

"My heart hurts, right now. I don't know if I can recover from this."

He walks around his desk to right in front of me, looking at me as if I'm some kind of miracle.

"I mean, come on,"

His fingers shake as they touch my cheek, and as push my hair back behind my ear. His touch is so delicate, like he's afraid he's going to break me. His chocolate eyes water as he looks my face over.

"I've missed you." I say finishing my sentence. He smiles and pulls me into his arms. I cry happy tears into his chest, my arms holding him tightly to me. His hand supports the back of my skull while the other squeezes me into him. I can feel his chest shake from his cries.

"My sweet girl," he murmurs into my hair. "Oh, how I've missed you!"

I pull away from him and look at his wet face. He holds my head in both hands.

"Look at you! You've grown so much in this past year! Your face, your hair! You look beautiful." He grins ear to ear.

"Look at you, Max! You haven't changed at all!"

"Is that a good thing?" He asks playfully.

"Yes! It is!"

He pulls me into another lung crushing hug. "Oh Beatrice," he whispers, "I've missed you so much. You have no idea."

I chuckle and pull away. Max grabs another chair from the side of the room and pulls it up next to mine. He sits and we begin talking. We talk about nothing and everything. We talk for hours and hours, pausing only for breath.

All I can think is, maybe I have more then I think. Maybe, I haven't lost everything. Maybe, I'm not alone. I never was alone. I've always had him. With Max on my side, I'm okay. I will be okay.

I am loved.

 **Authors Note:**

 **Hey everybody! I hope you liked this chapter, I liked writing it. I'm sorry for any spelling or grammatical errors that I missed. It's hard for me to catch them sometimes. Be sure to leave a review. I accept constructive criticism and suggestions, along with ideas and questions. I also want so say something. So, I reread my first chapter, and saw how fuckered up it is! I'm so sorry. I began writing that when I younger, so my vocabulary and wording wasn't really the best. I didn't really try on it because I never thought anyone would read it. I worked on it every few months just for something to do. I wrote that just to write and because I adored the Divergent Trilogy. Then, I wanted to see if anyone would read a story of mine so I posted it. I can only hope that my writing has gotten better since then. Again, really sorry for that mess. Maybe I'll rewrite it one day. Who knows. Anyways, have an awesome rest of your day and please leave a review, it's extremely exciting and inspiring.**

 **:)**


	8. A-Holes

**Tris(POV)**

"Initiates! Good morning!" Eric booms loudly to our little group. Nobody responds. It is unfortunately five o'clock in the morning and all of us, except Four and Eric, are groggy and exhausted. Not only did we sprint almost six miles yesterday, but we also had to fight through two hours of nonstop push-ups and sit-ups. "Do you know what today is?" He asks with an arrogant smile crossing his lips.

"Uh...it's Tuesday, boss." Peter replies, his tone dripping with defiance.

With a quick turn of his body, Eric throws something silver at Peter. Somewhat of a squeal falls from Peter's mouth as a knife pins his shirt to the wooden doorframe he was leaning against. Laughs and giggles ring out through the room as Peter tries to pull out the knife to release him. When I look around the room, I find Four grinning, and he rarely ever shows his emotions. I even find myself smiling.

"Remember your place, Candor. Don't wanna get that pretty face of yours all broken when the Factionless get done with you." Eric smirks. Peter angrily manages to rip the knife out of the wood and pockets the sharp weapon.

"Today, as maybe you can tell, we will be practicing with knife throwing." Eric continues.

Christina sits beside me on the small bench and leans closer to me while Eric snaps at some initiates who are whispering. "Why the fuck are we doing this at five o'clock in the Goddamn morning, though?" She murmurs quietly. I simply chuckle softly and shrug.

"So," Four roars, "Eric will not be with us today after lunch because he will be attending an official leadership meeting. After lunch, it will just be me and you idiots." I can't help but smile. I try to hide it by looking down at my twiddling fingers, but I know I failed when Christina nudges me with her elbow.

"You _so_ like him," Christina whispers, her excitement showing in a wide toothy grin.

"Shut up, Christina." I growl. But I can feel the heat rise to my cheeks. _Why am I blushing? I do not! I do not like him._

" _Yeah you do_ ," Christina pushes.

"We covered this almost a month ago. I have...other interest." I reply while tugging on my hair awkwardly.

"Yes. But remember, it's not impossible to have _multiple_ interests." Christina whispers while wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

I almost shove her off of the bench. "I swear to God, don't think I won't inform Will about your 'pure and undying love' for him." I say through gritted teeth.

Her eyes widen and her mouth drops. I cross my arms over my chest and watch Four and Eric bicker about something while Christina continues to stare at me.

"You wouldn't," she whispers.

" I would if it came down to it," I say eyeing her.

"I dare you,"

I almost laugh. Is she being serious right now? I'm mostly worried about us getting caught. The two are still arguing over something, but people are looking over to both me and Chris. I take advantage of the two adults being distracted.

I turn to Christina and look her right in the eyes. "Christina, it was a joke! A threat. I am not, _am not_ , going to tell Will you like him for you. We aren't eight. You are old enough to tell him yourself. Stop trying to get me to do it."

Christina pouts and crosses her arms like a child.

"Nonetheless," Four shouts, silencing Eric, "get up and stand behind the line," he points to a black and yellow striped line on the floor that is about twenty feet away from human shaped outlines that are carved into wooden planks. The targets have a white circle lining the midsection.

"But grab knives before you go and stand there like morons." Eric adds as people begin to walk over to the striped line.

I stand and pull Christina up by her crossed arms. She refuses my pull and resists. "Chris," I growl.

"No!" She whines. Her legs slip out from under her and she falls on her butt. At first, she looks stunned, but then she begins laughing.

"I can't handle you," I grin. I let her go and she gets up. Together, we walk over to the cart and grab multiple knives. I stick a few in my pockets and leave three in my left hand. Two open targets stand side by side, so Christina and I hurry over to them.

One lone target stands centered in between the two groups of initiates. Four walks up to the line and toys with a knife in his left hand. Eric leans against a table that holds even more knives.

"Alright, I'm going to show you the correct form to take when throwing a knife," Four begins, but is quickly stopped by the loud screeching of the double doors opening. We all turn to the noise and see Max walking in. My smile grows when he nods to me.

"Initiates," he says in his leader-voice, "I will be shadowing your training today. Take no notice to me. Simply act like you would if it was just Four and Eric here. Do good."

I look over to my fellow initiates and see mixed emotions. Most look nervous, some look petrified, some look confident, others look plain cocky (Peter).

"As I was saying," Four says turning back to his target. "You need to hold the knife firmly," he holds the knife in front of his face by its blade. "And you must keep your eye on your target. _Do not_ close your eyes, otherwise you might stab someone you don't want to. Such as Max or me or your imaginary girlfriend."

"What about Peter?" Edward calls out.

"Everyone wants to stab Peter." Four says like it's obvious, which it is.

"You forgot to mention Eric on the no stab list," Some girl calls out.

Four shakes his head slightly, "No, no I didn't."

Everyone in the room laughs, except for Eric and Peter, who look about ready to kill. Max surprisingly lets out a chuckle. Four focuses on his target, but I can see his small smile even though he's trying to hide it. _God, he has a great smile._

"Okay, okay," Four calls out. "Let's focus. I want you all to pay close attention to my form." He takes his stance and grips the knife in his left hand. _A lefty._ An odd feeling plants itself in the pit of my stomach and stays rooted there. I don't know what it is. I angrily shake my head and try to pay attention to the way he stands and the way his body moves as he throws three knives in under five seconds. When I glance over to his poor target, I see that one is stuck in the head, one dead center in the circle, and the last in the crotch. I can practically feel Al gulp beside me.

Four turns to us. "You may begin. I will come and assist you if needed."

"As will I," Max says standing straight.

"You will get no help from me." Eric growls as he rolls his eyes. _Maybe if you keep doing that, you'll find a brain back there._

"Go." Four says.

We all take the same stance as Four did. A lot of people just throw it the second the urge hits them, but I stay still and ignore the urge. I practice throwing a few times without releasing the knife. When I feel I've got it down, I let go. To my amazement, the knife buries itself into the upper right side of the circle. I got it in the circle! I feel so giddy that I almost do a little dance.

"Good work, Tris." Max says with a proud look on his face as he passes behind me.

"Thanks," I smile. I take another knife from my left hand and continue to work out the same procedure as before. When my knife lands, it hits just outside of the circle. Not in the circle, but pretty close and I still hit my target.

"Pathetic," I hear Eric say from behind me. I can't help but bite my tongue. But when I turn to him, I notice he isn't talking about me. He stands behind Al.

"What the fuck was that, initiate? That was almost as pitiful as your love life."

Al's face reddens slightly. He's embarrassed. "It slipped," he murmurs.

"Then fucking go get it." Eric snaps.

Al's eyes widen and he looks at him disbelievingly. "While they're still throwing?!"

"What, you scared?"

"Of getting stabbed, yeah!" Al says. _Oh no._

"Stop throwing, everybody." Eric bellows. Everyone freezes. "Go stand in front of the target." Al knows he fucked up. It shows on his face. "Here's the deal, Four is going to throw five knives at you, and if I see you flinch, you're out."

Al's hands shake and his mouth hangs open only slightly. When he recovers from his shock, he slowly drags his feet to the target. I snap my head over to Max. He looks at me and I motion with my head for him to stop this. I'm met with sympathy and a sad shake of his head. I bite my lip and look back to Al. Four holds one knife in his left and four in his right hand. He walks up to the line. Al takes up the whole target. His eyes are to the floor, he's terrified. Right as Four's hand rises, my mouth is open and the word has already escaped.

"Stop!" I yell. Eric glares at me and Max's face has _oh no_ written all over it. Four looks at me, and I know that in his head, he's asking me what the hell I'm doing. Frankly, I don't even know, but it's too late to go back now. "Any dipshit can stand in front of a target, it doesn't mean anything."

"Then it wouldn't hurt for you to take his place." Eric says, a delirious smile marking his face.

 _Shit._ I'm such an idiot. I don't let my shock show on my face. I hold my head high and walk up to Al. He whispers a thank you to me as he pushes himself off the wooden wall. _I didn't do it for any 'thank you's'_

I lean against the wall for much needed support. My arms hang limply at my sides and my chest heaves with the want for more air, but my face stays hard as rock.

Eric walks up beside Four, his hands fiddling with a knife. "Same rules apply. If you flinch, you're done." He walks back and sits on the table. My eyes glance over to Max, his face filled with worry and anger. I'm not going to hear the end of it after this. Whether it be while I'm in his office or while I'm packing my bags. I give him a small smile, and he sighs. I can feel the disappointment and it stabs me in the chest repeatedly.

Then my eyes find Four's. His piercing dark blue eyes bore into mine and I find I'm breathless. But I don't think it's because I'm about to get knives thrown at my head, not entirely anyways. I can see that he doesn't want to do this, not to me. There's just something about the way his eyes plead for me to back down, the way he's trying to hold that knife in his hand longer than necessary, it's just so natural feeling that it scares me. I don't even know what I'm thinking.

His eyes focus solely on me. He takes his position and in one swift movement, a loud thump has placed itself beside my right hip. A shaky breath falls from my body as I look anywhere but him.

"Come on, Four. You can get closer than that." Eric says coming back up next to him.

Four breathes in a deep breath and meets my eyes again. I don't even have time to blink before he has thrown another, which has landed right next to my head. Max jumps at the thump, but all I can do is grit my teeth.

"Stop playing with her," Eric sneers. Four doesn't give me time to breathe, because in several quick actions, he has thrown the rest of the knives. One above my head, one between my middle and pointer finger, and the other next to my ear. Something drips on my neck. My fingers dab the mysterious liquid, and are a deep crimson when I inspect them. I touch my ear, but flinch when a burning sensation ripples through my head. Four stands there, staring at me. I stare right back. Max looks shocked, almost angry.

"Points for balls, Stiff," Eric says. "Keep that mouth shut otherwise you're going to get hurt." His threat doesn't scare me, I know my mouth gets me hurt every time it opens. "Dismissed for lunch."

Max glares at me before turning and leaving. He's mad at me for saying something. But if I hadn't, then Al would've been kicked from Dauntless. I was simply helping a friend. I was standing up for the weak, isn't that what I'm supposed to do?

My stomach churns and I'm too rattled to move. People file out of the room to eat lunch, but I'm going to go to the infirmary to see how bad he cut me. Four has his back to me as he straightens out the knives on the table. I angrily push my self off of the wall and walk past him.

"Are you okay?" He asks emotionless while still focusing on the table.

"You cut me," I state, my tone angry.

"I know, I meant to," he replies in the same monotone voice.

That stops me. I flip my body around to face him and stare at him disbelievingly. "You fucking _meant_ to?" I growl.

"What, you think he was going to let you go without a chip? You'd still be standing there if I hadn't nicked you."

"So what? You want me to thank you?" I'm almost too angry to form a thought. He meant to cut me. He meant to hurt me. This man is a fucking maze.

"I want you to be more careful. The kinds of people here won't go easy on you just because you're small or a girl. They don't give a shit. You need to keep your mouth _shut._ "

My palms are sweating and my ear is still bleeding, I can feel it dripping from my earlobe. I say nothing, I'm too irritated to speak and I don't really know what to say to that.

"You _need_ to be more careful, Tris." he murmurs.

"Why the hell do you care? You said it yourself, people here don't give a shit, so why do you?"

"Because I'm tired of finding bodies at the bottom of the fucking Chasm." He snaps. He walks up to me, right in front of my body. Only an inch separates him from me. His nose is millimeters from mine. My mouth has gone dry and my heart his racing.

"If I wanted to hurt you," he says, his face so close to mine I can feel his breath, "I would've."

Then he's gone. He turns on his heel and walks out before I can say anything. I almost call out to him, but I stop myself.

I take a deep breath and jog to the bathrooms that are at the other side of the room. I pull open the womens' door and walk up to the mirror. My eyes widen when I catch sight of my ear. He nicked me good on the side of my ear. I wouldn't be surprised if I needed a stitch or two. Four most definitely made a permanent slit in my ear.

Dry and wet blood cover my ear and the shoulder of my shirt. I sigh and wet a paper towel under the faucet. Carefully and gently, I dab my ear and clean it as well as I can manage. Then I quickly wipe down my shirt and get most of the blood out.

I can't decide how to take Four's words. _"If I wanted to hurt you, I would've."_ What does that mean? Was it meant to come across as a threat or was it him telling me in his own way that he cares for me? Could it be that he was just saying he doesn't want me to get hurt? I can't decipher it and my head hurts for even attempting to.

How he acts around me sometimes is almost as complex as how I feel for him. I can't really see myself with him, but that's just due to the fact that he's strong, stubborn, and, well, cute. Honestly, admitting it isn't something I enjoy thinking about. I want Tobias, I want to see him, to feel him. Even if it's for a second. I just feel a distinct _need_ to make sure he's at least okay and happy. Would I leave for him if he's become Factionless? _Could_ I? I've made some good friends and I've found a little piece of my broken family. I'm finally happy after days and months of tortuous thoughts and actions.

There's just something about Four. Something about him makes me feel like I did back in Abnegation. Happy and carefree. Say something _did_ happen between us. If Tobias strolled right back into the picture, would I leave Four for Tobias? How could I say that? 'Hey, my best friend from Abnegation is here and I'm going to date him instead. Bye!' I could never.

I groan and let my head fall into my hands. These are dangerous thoughts, but logical, right?

Defeated, I throw the door open and walk through. Instead of going to the infirmary, I think I'm just going to go to the dorms and maybe get some sleep. God knows I hardly get any with the nightmares I'm having. That year took it's toll on me.

I get to the dorms quickly, and once I'm here, I notice that it's bare. Sometimes during lunch, I'll come here to just relax and there's always a soul or two doing the same. But today I'm alone. I sit down on my cot and pull my bin out from under. The clips are broken, so I borrowed duck tape from Will and taped one side shut. I lift the other and dig through the mounds of black. I find a sleeve of grey and pull. Out comes Tobias's sweatshirt.

It's still way too large, but it fits only slightly more snug then when he gave it to me. And luckily, it still has a trace of his scent. I don't want someone to see that I'm wearing something from my old faction. They could tell and I'd either be kicked for not being loyal to Dauntless or they'd take it from me and burn it. I'd rather they kick me than to have them set it aflame. Both are a risk I'm not going to take. So after a few minutes of holding it to me, I fold it and shove it back to the bottom.

"What the hell was that, Beatrice?!"

I jump at the sudden outburst. Max stands tall and mad at the doorway. He makes his way over to me and grabs me by my jaw.

"Jesus Christ. Does it hurt?" He asks, his voice furious.

I suck in a deep breath. "Not as much as before. Now it just stings." I look anywhere but his eyes.

He softy pushes my head away and walks to the far wall. There hangs an emergency kit. Max rips it from its nail and plops down beside me. He opens it and pulls out a big bottle of disinfectant and several cotton balls. I watch him as he takes the cap off, holds a cotton ball to the top, and turns the bottle upside down for a split second.

"Look that way," he orders in his leader voice. I comply and turn my head. Gently, he pushes my hair behind my ear and presses the cotton ball to my cut.

A painful sting replaces the soft throbbing and I can't help but curse. "Holy fuck," I grit as my hands bundle the blanket tightly into my palm.

"Language," he scolds. "This wouldn't have happened if you would've kept your mouth shut."

"What'd you expect me to do, Max? Let him get cut from Dauntless? He wouldn't even be able to handle the first knife!"

He sighs angrily. "You still must respect Eric. He is a leader. Yes, I'll admit that he's a little rough. But that's just his tactic."

"His tactic is to be an asshole?"

"Beatrice Grace Prior. Don't you dare talk about a leader like that. You will respect him and follow his orders."

I huff. "Isn't that what I did?! I stood still. I didn't flinch and I made no complaint about it."

"Beatrice," he says disappointed as he sticks a small bandaid to my injury.

"Aren't you the one who told me to stand up for people? People who can't stand up for themselves? That's what I was doing. I was helping my friend." I growl. My eyes stay focused on a dark spot on the wall across from us.

Minutes pass until his deep voice breaks the quiet. "You're too selfless for your own good. You care too much for people."

"Just because I'm Dauntless, it doesn't mean I have to be cruel."I snap.

He says nothing for minutes.

"Y'know," he murmurs, "Your mother told me the exact same thing a week before our Choosing Day. I was trying to convince her to stay here with me. But you know how she was. Once she set her mind on doing something, she did it."

I hate talking about my mother. It makes me hurt.

"You're more like her than you give yourself credit for." He says trying to get me to look at him.

"I don't want to be like her. She just let life happen to her."

"But she was happy! She enjoyed life the way she lived it!"

"But now she's dead." The words leave my lips and I immediately wish they didn't. My parents' death killed me. And talking about them turns me bitter.

His mouth drops and his eyes gloss over. I finally meet his gaze. My eyes burn and my throat tightens. A small whimper falls and Max throws his arms around me. I grip to him as if he were my life source. He holds me tightly to him while his hand supports my skull.

"Let yourself grieve! I know you blame yourself, I know you think you could've done something, but you couldn't. Let it out!" He says. My body gives out and I scream into his shoulder.

Max soothingly shushes me as if I was a baby. He rocks me back and forth as I wail. My grip on his shirt tightens and my stomach begins to hurt.

For the longest time, I blamed myself. I thought that maybe, if I could've woken up sooner or been quicker with my thinking, I could've saved my mother. I could've helped more than I did. Marcus didn't help with my thoughts and neither did Caleb. In fact, they both made it very clear that it was my fault. Endlessly, I cried and cried. It was all I could do. I prayed and begged for answers. None came. Looking back on it now, it was foolish of me to hold in my grief and holdout until I could do it freely. I see that I was just slowly building up a volcano that would erupt and quite possibly kill me. What I need to understand is that it happened and it was out of my control.

Once my body calms down, Max whispers, "Find peace with yourself, little girl. Forgive your mind." He then pulls away from my grip, kisses my forehead, and leaves the room. I want him to come back. I want him to never leave me again no matter how many times I scream at him to leave me alone. But I think he understands I need to heal myself. Not completely alone, of course, but simply in peace and quiet.

* * *

The rest of training was simply punching the bags hanging from the ceiling and sparing with one another. Al has barely said anything to me since the knife incident, but Christina called me a badass. I feel that even Will was impressed, he was surprised I had said anything. Now Christina, Will, Al and I are on our way to the Pit to a shop. Christina refused to inform me on where we're going, I have a feeling it's something I won't like.

Suddenly, a pair of hands cover my eyes and I'm about to throw a punch when Will's voice screams for me to stop.

"Tris, please. Chris told me to cover your eyes. Please don't hurt me!" He begs. His pleas make me chuckle and I hold onto his wrists for support.

"Okay," Christina says, "open your eyes on the count of three, got it?" I nod my head in response. "Alright. One...two...three!"

Will's hands leave my eyes, but my fingers stay clasped around his wrists. What stands in front of me makes me want to run. A tattoo parlor.

"TATTOOS!" Christina squeals.

"No." I say flat out. Both Will and Al chuckle, but Christina's fun attitude falters slightly before she recovers and grabs my hand.

"Yes." She responds with a cheesy smile.

"Christina, please, no." I whisper with wide eyes still staring at the large sign.

"YES!" She screams louder. I reluctantly let her drag me in. Will laughs from behind me and follows us. While my friends look around at the different designs, I stand awkwardly in the middle of the floor.

"Get a tat or get out," says a tall, scrawny man with tattoos covering every inch of his skin and piercings all over his face. He wears a black wife-beater and long baggy pants that are bundled up at his black shoes.

"Sorry," I say embarrassed. I look at each design carefully and watch as Chris and Will decide on each other's placement of tattoos.

I walk around until a particular design catches my eye. A black raven with it's wings spread as if in flight. Immediately, I'm drawn to it. My legs carry me over to the glass in which it's printed on.

"That one's nice. Where ya' gonna get it?" A woman's voice says. When I look to my right, dark black hair with streaks of color and small, lined eyes are what meet me.

"Tori?" I whisper. I can feel my eyebrows come together.

She instantly freezes at the realization that it's me. The Divergent who she saved only a month ago. Her eyes are wide and her lips are only slightly parted.

"Beatrice?" She murmurs in disbelief. Once she regains herself, she tears into me. "What the fuck are you doing here? You transferred here!?"

"Y...yeah." I stutter still in shock that I found the woman I need answers from.

"For a part Erudite, you're an idiot. They're going to find you here."

I recover and start asking questions. "Tori, I need to talk to you. I need answers. What am I? Why are people afraid of me? Is there any wa—"

She holds her hand up to silence me. "I just do tattoos. Help yourself."

"But—"

"I _just_ do _tattoos._ " She sneers. Then she turns her back to me and walks away to what I assume is her station.

I quickly rip the glass panel with the raven from the wall and rush over to her. She sighs angrily at my presence and looks up straight ahead. When she turns to me, I hold up the glass. She takes it from my hands and shoves it into a machine which then shows the picture on the computer screen.

"Where do you want it?" She growls.

"Can I have three?" I ask, my hand pressing down on my collarbone to show I want it there. Tori nods her head and grabs a camera that is connected to the computer by a long cord. I remove my hand from the spot I want the tattoo and turn my head the other way. A subtle _click_ sounds out and a picture of my collarbone replaces the raven on the computer screen. Three more clicks of the keys and three black ravens are on the picture.

"Here, adjust them however you want and tell me when you're done." She says. Tori walks to a door and leaves me alone.

I grab the mouse and move the ravens to where I want them inked into my skin. Then I find that I can adjust the actual bird itself. When I'm finished, one bird has its wings spread out and is the first and largest. The second is a little smaller and diagonal to the first. It's wings aren't spread out as wide and are closer to its body. The third and smallest is below the second. All of them are flying towards my heart.

"You done?" Tori asks as she comes back with paper, ink, and needles.

"Yeah," I say triumphant. I'm very proud and really excited for this.

"Alright, lay down and stay still." She orders. I lay on the chair and pull the shoulder of my shirt down a little. Tori prints the image and presses it down on my skin. After a minute, she pulls up the paper and the design is outlined on my skin.

"Look good?" She says. I nod my head eagerly and lie back as she hooks up the ink to the needle.

"So, why three?"

"Um.." I say as I clear my throat. "One for each family member. My parents died in a fire and my brother stoped loving me after they died. So, yeah."

"Oh, sorry to hear that, kid."

After a minute, I say what I really want to. "What _am_ I, Tori?" I ask after she starts on my tattoo.

She breathes a deep breath and sighs. "You're Divergent, Beatrice. You're aware during simulations, they can't control you. They're scared because they don't understand and don't bother to."

"If they find out, what'll they do to me?"

"My brother was like you. During the second part of our initiation, he got good real fast. Too good. When he was under a sim, an advisor came to watch. He went out with his friends that night to celebrate being the top in our class. Next thing you know, they find his body at the bottom of the Chasm. They got _rid_ of him." She says solemnly.

I have no words on my tongue. They will hurt me? But, Max won't let that happen, right?

"You have to watch yourself and be careful. Don't do _anything_ that could draw attention to yourself. And like I said before, do not tell anybody what you are. You can't trust anybody. Godspeed, Beatrice." She whispers. And that's it. She says nothing more.

Within the hour, she's done. Tori bandages my new altercation and gives me lotion to rub on it. I hand her a crumpled fifty that Max gave me and leave her chair. When I walk out of the parlor, Chris, Will and Al stand waiting for me.

On the way to the dorms, we chatter mindlessly. But I'm not mentally present. If I'm not careful, I could get myself killed. Tori made it clear not to tell _anybody._ But I can trust Max, can't I? He loves me. I know that. And he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. Maybe I should tell him. It's possible he could help me. Any kind of help could potentially save me.

 _"Godspeed, Beatrice"_ Her words ring in my mind. Is there anyone else here like me? After Tori administrated my test, she told me my results were inconclusive. Which is extremely rare. The thought that shakes me the most is that I could die tomorrow, tonight, in a week. Anytime. Of course, it's was like that anyways, but now it seems way more likely to happen sooner.

 _I could die tonight._ My hands shake slightly and my heart pounds.

What am I going to do?

* * *

 **AN: And that's it! Thanks for reading and I apologize for any errors. Please leave a review. Ideas, constructive criticism, give it all! I hope you guys had an awesome summer! Alright, Bye!**


	9. War Games

Four(POV)

I watch her as she punches the bag fiercely. She throws punch after punch, and the bag barely moves. Her features become angry and frustrated. Then she mumbles something quietly to herself.

I've had my suspicions about Tris. When I first saw the grey, I was positive that the girl I had waited so long to see had come. Then she whispered my name and a flood of relief washed over. But when she stood before me, I couldn't recognize her. This girl is more curves and softness. Her hair is a little darker than Bea's and she just seems more...rugged. I can tell she's been through some shit, especially with those scars on her back. When I saw the red lines, I knew it couldn't be Beatrice. There's no way it could happen. My mind erased any possibility that it could be her. Not to mention the fact that Bea would never speak out the way Tris does. She has too much respect and is too shy.

My heart shattered when I couldn't find Bea. She finally broke one of her promises, which are like blood oaths to her. For the last weeks, my mind has been racing with reasons and scenarios of why she would have stayed. But I know for a fact she would've found a way to tell me _why._

It's been a couple of months, but I think I'm starting to get over the fact that I may never see Beatrice again. It was horrible after I left, I could barely sleep without feeling something missing. But then I got used to the fact that she wasn't with me. Now, I'm starting to get over the pain of really missing her. When I was an initiate, I kept the mindset that if I did well during training, then I could stay and see her again. That's what kept me going. When I thought of giving up, I would picture her coming here and not being able to find me because I became Factionless. I pictured her leaving everything behind, only to find me gone.

Zeke was the first to pick up on my moping. He's been there for me since the beginning of Dauntless, and I'm very confident in saying he's my best friend. He will never replace Bea, no one can, but he's a good person and I trust him. He bothered me for hours and hours on end until I finally told him the source of my sadness. Zeke finally knew the reason I had been avoiding his double dates and such. Surprisingly, he was extremely supportive and picked up some of the pieces. Now that I'm officially single and he knows it, he's been gnawing my head off to get me a girlfriend. And lately, he's been suggesting Tris as the perfect candidate.

I must admit that I'm interested in Tris, but that's why I've tried to be so cold towards her, or _tried_ to be. I've just recently gotten over Bea, and I just can't help what I still feel for her. She was my best friend. And now she's gone. But Zeke's right, she isn't coming back, so I need to get over her. We're seventeen, he says, we need to live. I suppose he has a point.

I just don't want that mindset. I'm going to see her again, I've got to.

Another five minutes pass before Eric enters the room, the same smug look plastered on his face like always. I observe as he studies Tris. He's about to criticize her form because of how crappy she is at punching, but then she heaves a throw at the bag more so from frustration than from actually trying to practice her form. She's really going at it, punching and kicking with all her might. She's pissed, and it's a good thing that she's taking it out on the bag.

He simply raises his eyebrows in slight surprise and continues down the line.

I move from my place by the scoreboard and slowly make my way down the line. And as hard as I try, I can't stop my eyes from wondering over to her. All I can do is try my best to focus on whatever initiate I'm trying to help. The closer I get to her, the more nervous I become. Then, finally, I reach her.

She feels me staring at her while she has a small breakdown. Her stormy eyes turn onto me, the grey filled with fury and her cheeks tinted red. Her eyes capture me in such a way that it almost makes me want to get to know her, be her friend. _No. Don't._

After a second of uncomfortable silence, she turns back to her bag and starts going at it again.

"Anger's a good source to use to beat the shit out of somebody. But you're not always going to be angry enough." I say, moving closer to her on the right side of her body.

"Yeah?" She pants. "Then why the hell am I fighting in the first place? Am I fighting for the pure fun of getting beat up?" The breathlessness in her voice almost takes my breath away.

"No, it could be self defense." She stops for second, and I realize what my words mean. She was abused, and she knows I know. It sounded more harsh than I meant it, more directed at her.

"You can't always get out of it. No matter how good you are." She snaps. We both know that to be true.

"You're never going to win. Not using that technique." I state. She's letting off steam, I know that. But I want to see her mad.

"Thanks." She growls. I might piss her off enough that she actually comes at me.

Without really thinking, I get close to her.

My right hand touches her stomach firmly while my left hand gently caresses her back, being carefully about the scars I know are there. I know they're not healed completely, so I try to be delicate.

I feel her gasp and she freezes, her eyes growing wide and her lips parting.

"Keep your tension here," I say, pushing in on her stomach gently. "you need to rotate your hips more and move your foot closer to you."

She gulps and nods, not quite meeting my eyes. "Okay," she says unsure.

She does as instructed and I immediately see progress.

"Thanks," she murmurs.

I don't have time to respond. Eric's voice beats me to it.

"Initiates!" He says while standing on a mat. "Today, we will continue fighting each other."

Tris isn't fazed. She just stands with her back to him staring at her punching bag.

"Stiff," he says. She visibly hardens and squeezes her eyes shut. Then her body twists around and looks at Eric to continue.

"Hayes," he says. Both Tris and I lose our breaths. "In the ring. You two are starting us off."

Tris starts to trudge towards the mat, but I grab her by her arm and lean my head in close to her ear. "You attack first. A quick jab to the throat and _keep going_. Once you've got him stunned, don't stop. You're fast, use that to your advantage. And watch him, he steps before he punches." Her eyes meet mine in quiet thanks as she makes her way towards Peter.

I know Eric is trying to get back at her for speaking up during the knife incident a week ago, but this has got to be a new low.

"Begin,"

They begin to circle each other, their hands raised and their eyes locking in anticipation. I fail to ignore her shaking hands.

Eric scowls at them and looks almost bored. Then Peter throws a punch and Tris dodges out of the way and is across the mat in a second. She's scared.

"Awe, Stiff," Peter says in mock pout, his lower lip sticking out. He knows she's scared, too. He watches her with a smile that makes me want to puke. His eyes watch her like she's a piece of meat. "You gonna cry? I might be gentle if you cry. Come on, _cry for me_."

Her fear evaporates into air and is replaced by fire. She narrows her eyes and then huffs in anger.

Then words leave his lips that make me cringe and squeeze my eyes shut.

"I'll go easy on you. Don't want to add any more scars or bruises to that little body."

Her body stops moving and her mouth hangs.

"And those scars, man, those are pretty gruesome. How bad did you have to piss off daddy to get those? Especially all those bruises, they look like finger prints. Have you been whoring yourself out, Tris? What would your mother think?" his malicious smile grows larger and so does her fury.

He then comes at her and she doesn't waste a second. His fist flies through the air, but it shrinks back when she punches him in the throat, hard. Peter stumbles back and she then slaps him with all her strength, sending him to the ground. Her body jumps on top of his and she punches him in the face reluctantly. Blood spills from his nose and mouth and for a moment I think I need to rip her off of him, but then his hands find her wrists and he flips them over. He sits on her and holds her hands together above her head with one hand, and punches her everywhere with his other.

"Bet you're used to this position, huh?" He growls. But this just makes her even more mad. Her head comes up to meet his and once he's stunned, she knees him in the groin. He falls over and she climbs back on top and continues to hit him.

"Stop fucking around with her and get this over with!" Eric yells.

This gives Peter power. He throws her off of him and hits her with so much force that she practically flies across the mat and rolls onto the concrete. His hands pick her up and tosses her on the concrete across from him, over the entirety of the mat. Her body lands with a thud and her lips gasp for air. She starts to get up, but he kicks her in the stomach way to hard for even I to handle.

Then, she begins to cough up blood. I turn away and begin to leave the room. The sound of slaps and punches and groans follow me out the doors. My body leans against the wall for support as I try to ignore her sounds of agony. Even from out here I can hear her crying.

When I my eyes turn to look through the window, I see Peter holding her up by a fist full of her hair and punching her face. That's when I find my voice.

"STOP!" I scream when I push through the doors

Peter halts his actions, Tris's hair still in his fist. I walk briskly up to him and say, "Let her go," in the most menacing voice I've ever heard from myself.

His hand releases her and she falls to the ground with a groan. She tries to move, but gives up after she coughs up blood.

Her hands start shaking when she sees it and she whispers, "Oh my God," with the most fear-filled voice I've ever heard from anyone. It's worse than she thought, that much I can tell from her reaction.

I touch her arm and kneel down to her. "Can you get up?" I whisper as gentle as I can. She nods and I grab her arm. When I start to pull her up, she clenches her teeth and whimpers quietly.

My instincts act on their own and slide beneath her, pulling her up with me. She sucks in a sharp breath and bits her lip.

One quick glare to Eric and I'm out of the training room and walking briskly down the halls. I feel her body becoming more limp with each step I take.

Halfway from the infirmary, an obviously intoxicated man with large muscles and cropped hair wobbles done the hall. "What, you get married or somethin'?" From the way I'm holding her, it could appear so to a person in a drunken state. I simply shake my head and continue down the long corridor.

Once I finally reach the double doors that lead to the infirmary, I turn my body around and back up. My arms pull her head closer to me so she doesn't get any more injuries from a metal door frame.

"Hello?! Anyone here?" I yell into the small infirmary.

A small pale woman with raven hair streaked with grey shuffles out from what I can only assume is the supply room.

"Oh my, what happened?" the petite woman asks as she grabs my shirt sleeve and pulls me along to a cot. "Set her down, dear. Right here," she pats the crinkly paper that lies over the leather of the cheap bed.

Tris groans softly as I begin to set her on the cot, so I lay her as softly as I can.

"You didn't answer me, what the hell happened?!" the nurse says in a strong and stern voice. She sounds almost motherly.

"Training," I say shortly, "is she going to be okay?"

"She's going to be fine." The nurse says like it's nothing. Like I'm overreacting. She sticks a stethoscope down the collar of Tris's shirt, over her heart. "Who did this girl fight against?" She prods, fighting for answers.

I sigh in annoyance and reply in a bored tone, "Peter Hayes, top ini—"

"Top initiate." She finishes my sentence for me in a low growl. "You let this girl go against _that_?!"

"It wasn't my call—" I take a second to glance over her name tag, "—Edna! I had no choice!"

She huffs in indignation and rolls her eyes. "Well I'll tell you this once, he almost killed her. One more time and she's done. Tell that to your vulgar leader."

I've got nothing to say. And I feel that if I say anything else, she'll slap me.

"Now go, I'll take care of her. And tell Eric every single word I said. She does not fight until I say she can. No excruciating exercise and no fighting. _Especially_ not Peter Hayes. Got it?"

I nod, my hands raised in surrender. She waves me away and with one final glance at Tris, I head out.

* * *

"Tell her she's done. She can't fight, and she won't. Make sure she's out by dawn tomorrow," Eric says to Christina and Will. They attempt to protest, but are instantly shut down by Eric's harsh glare. When he turns around to his table of knives, they turn their eyes to me in desperation and Christina even mouths, _'Please,'_

I roll my eyes and nod, ushering them out with my right hand by flicking it towards the doors. They hurry out and silence hangs in the air for minutes before I speak.

"Little extreme, don't you think?" I ask, pushing myself from the wall across from the pierced monkey.

"She'll fall behind, it won't be fair to the other initiates." He says, his hands fiddling with his jacket zipper.

"And what do you care about fair?" I grind my teeth together.

"I care enough, and tha—" he's cut off by my laughing.

"If you care about fair," I chuckle, "then why the hell did you pair her with _Peter_?" My voice becomes serious at the end of my sentence.

"I think she needed to push herself." _It was her first fight._

"Bullshit," I clench my teeth together and cross my arms. "We both know you're still pissed about last week and this is you getting back at her. You can't handle defeat. You never could,"

"Oh yeah? And what about you? Why are you so hung up on this girl that you're willing to risk your position for her?"

"I'm not," I snap, "I just think you're doing her an injustice simply because you're _mad_."

"Well—"

"Not to mention that you don't even have the jurisdiction to kick her out, and Max won't do that. Especially not when she was told by medical professionals that her body physically can't handle it. That part isn't her fault. It's yours for forcing her against that scum bag who's three times her size and fights dirty. You _knew_ she wasn't ready for that."

He turns to me and we're eye-to-eye in a second. "What are you trying to say, Eaton? Cause' we can go right here, right now."

"Why, so I can kick your ass like last time? Save yourself the shame and walk away. And _don't_ call me that." I would be intimidated if I knew I couldn't beat him. But Eric and I grew up together, I know his strengths and weaknesses. He was the bully, I was the prey, but no longer. He is not stronger than I am. His pierced and tattooed body is all for bark. Not bite.

"You want to be outta' here too, _Four_? Cause we can make that happen."

I scowl at him. My mind races to all the times he got his ass handed to him by me and how he keeps picking fights with me.

"Listen Eric, we both know you aren't the hard ass you make yourself out to be. You're just a pouty 18 year old who's going to be washed out in five years tops. So let's get one thing clear, as long as I'm here, you're not kicking her out."

His nose twitches with anger, like it always does when he knows he's been defeated. "Read my lips, Eaton. _She's out._ " His back turns to me and he strides out of the empty training room with fake confidence.

I scoff, "Pussy,"

My hands connect behind my head and I sigh in frustration. _I can't let this happen._

* * *

The train smells like pubescent teenagers. We've been huddled together for thirty seconds, and my eyebrows have burned of by the excessive amount of body spray. A few still jump onto the train and find a spot to squeeze into. Feeling claustrophobic, I shove my way to the door and feel the open air rush past my face. I practically hang half my body out to get away from the excessive spray. I hold a little tighter when the train begins to move faster.

I'm about to close the doors when a petite blonde with short hair and a bruised face running beside the train catches my gaze. I look back into the train to see if anyone else notices, but no one does. I turn back to her and the corners of my mouth twitch up.

She's so close. _So close._ Her grey-blue eyes beg me for help. So, without really thinking, I reach out and take her hand. She jumps on easy enough, given she got the shit beat out of her only five hours ago. We meet face to face, my hand still connected with hers, and I look at her bruises and cracked lips. I stare at her too long, so she cuts the silence short and pulls her cold hand from my warm grasp.

"Thank you," and she means it. I know she does.

I nod in response and push my way over to a spot on the wall. I make sure to find a spot where I can still see her.

"Oh my God!" I hear Christina squeal as she rushes over to Tris. Her hands find Tris's wrists and she grips with dear life. "What are you doing here?!"

"What, you think I'd give up that easily? Hell no," Tris replies with a bright smile. She flinches when it widens, most likely from a zing of pain from her body or face, but she smiles all the same. It's something she rarely does, so I'm happy when I see it to be _real_. It's genuine, not forced. It's beautiful.

Christina giggles, but it's cut off when she sees who noticed Tris's presence.

"Why are you here?" Eric growls as he crosses over to the group of friends.

Tris immediately hardens, her grinning smile replaced by a harsh line. "I'm coming with you guys. I had to come," her voice is thick full of certainty and leadership, but I can hear the fear in it.

"Is that right? And who you out?" He asks like he's speaking to a child. He's speaking down to her. And I know from personal experience that she doesn't like that.

Her answer is simple, but it gets her point straight across. "I did," Her lips form a microscopic smirk, as does mine, and Eric bristles.

" _How_?"

A playful smile crosses her face, and I know she's about to say something she shouldn't. "I did it once, didn't I? I'm sure I can manage."

He narrows his eyes, but she doesn't react. I bet anything she's absolutely furious about what he did to her. He might have not hit her, but her bruises are on his hands.

His head stays level, but his eyes peer down at her. Eventually, he gruffly says, "Alright," and then he turns and walks back to his spot on the train.

Her eyes find mine and I find I'm smiling. We hold each others gaze for only a moment before I look at the floor and smile even harder.

Almost an hour passes before Eric calls me over to the piles of duffle bags. While Eric opens and throws them to the floor in front of the Dauntless born and the transfers, I begin to talk as they form a circle around the two of us.

"Alright, listen up. The game is called Capture The Flag. All the same rules apply, except we play a little different." My words are loud in the over heated train car, no one dares make sound. I load one of the air guns with the stim darts and hold it up for display. "We will be playing with these. Each one is filled with stim darts, which manipulate the same feeling of being shot with a real bullet."

"Some gun," I hear murmured behind me, then I hear the whoosh of the air gun, then a loud yelp. I don't have to turn to know it was Eric who shot either Molly or Peter. I finally look behind me to see Molly on the floor with a stim dart in her thigh. Her hands shake around the area, too scared to touch it.

Eric does it for her, and rips the dart from its place on her leg. She grunts in pain and quietly whimpers while grinding her teeth.

"Like he said, it feels like you really got shot. Don't worry, it only lasts for a few minutes. But man, does it sting. Isn't that right, Molly?"

She responds in controlled slurs of pain.

Eric smirks and continues. "We will be separated into two groups. Four and I are captains. Four, would you like to start us off?"

I don't really need to think about who I'm going to pick first, so it doesn't take me long to speak.

I steal a glance at her before I look at the floor and voice my pick, "I'll take the Stiff."

"Ahh, picking the weak ones so you have someone to blame, huh?"

"Something like that," I say with a grin when I meet his eyes.

We go back and fourth, him picking the brutes, and me choosing the small yet smart ones. When it comes time, we all jump off the train and part into our groups. My group runs towards the nearest freight train field which is close to the old carnival remains. Once we get there, everybody starts spewing out ideas and plans in a small circle.

"We need to part into two groups and one group needs to flank the left of the plain and the other should run up the docks or the pier to see if they can find the flag," Uriah says. He holds up the orange flag, then tucks it into his jacket. Uriah, just like his brother, is never serious. So, when he says this, he has a wide and bright smile.

The Pedrad brothers are infamous for their parties and pranks. In honesty, Zeke and Uriah are the closest pair of brothers I've ever seen. Closest pair of _siblings_ I've ever had the chance to meet. I'm very lucky to have been accepted as one of their family members. Hanna, their mother, has treated me like her son ever since I met her. And though I'm not as close to Uriah as I am Zeke, I would still do anything for the little nut. Now that I think about it, I might actually have a family. And Zeke's right, I'm going to be fine. Maybe I should talk to Hanna and get some motherly advice.

Christina's squeaky voice pulls me back to reality. "Who put you in charge?" She scrunches up her nose in disgust.

"Someone had to. Do you have any ideas, _princess_?" He says the name like a curse, then chuckles afterwards. I have to fight to not roll my eyes.

"As a matter of fact, I do, dickhead." She snaps.

I tune out of the conversation and instead focus on the surroundings around us. Freight trains are stacked around us, but an old carousel and a very tall, rusty Ferris wheel stand just ahead of us. But then a small running figure catches my eye, and she's running to the Ferris wheel.

I follow out of curiosity, and a need to get away from the bickering children. When I reach the base of the Ferris wheel ladder, she's not very far up.

"What are you doing?" It comes out harsher than I meant it, and she flips around, her grey eyes peering over her black, leather shoulder.

"Um," she says nervously. "Trying to get better ground."

I smirk and drop my gun on the ground next to hers. "Good idea, I'll come with you."

"You don't have to," she says quickly,

"I also didn't have to help you on the train earlier." I meant it as a slight joke. But she doesn't take it that way.

"Thank you, by the way." She huffs as she reaches for the next bar on the ladder.

"No problem."

Silence fills the air. Then I notice how much she's straining herself. That was a big no on Edna's list.

"Take it easy, you took a beating today." _Why do I_ _care? What is it about_ _her that makes me want to protect her?_

She pauses, causing me to come up right behind her. She takes a breath and speaks softly, "I'm fine, Four. I've felt worse," she turns and looks me right in my eyes and whispers, "and you know it."

I nod, it's a silent understanding both of us share and a secret we will keep.

We continue to climb, but it's not long until I realize how far off the ground we are.

"This is high enough," I say.

She turns to look at the ground and says six devastating words. "No, we need to go higher,"

Tris begins to climb higher, but I seem frozen in place.

When she realizes I'm not behind her she stops and turns to check on me. "You coming?" It's only now I find I'm breathing heavy. She smiles as she gets the picture. "You're afraid of heights," it's not a question.

"Everyone's afraid of something," I grumble.

"Huh, I didn't think you were afraid of anything."

I grin, trying to get my mind off the fact that one slip could kill me.

We climb further up the ladder and the ground becomes too distant for my liking. Then, a sharp gasp escapes Tris as the rung under her foot breaks and she's thrown over the edge of the ladder. If not for my hand flying to her hip, she would've fallen. My cold hand fans out across her warm stomach and goosebumps run up and down my spine. She shivers slightly, but my fingers linger there.

"Are you okay?" I ask, a slight shake rounds my words.

"Yeah," she says breathless, "I'm fine." She clears her throat and pulls out of my grasp. I fight the urge to frown and continue climbing behind her.

Slowly, but surely, we climb higher and higher, each rung making me more nervous than the last. Along the way, I ask to stop, and she says no. Eventually, we reach a car of the Ferris wheel and climb into it.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She asks when we finally stop moving. Her voice has humor in it.

Breathlessly, I grumble, "Yeah, I think I'm alive. Unless I fell and died."

She chuckles and begins to look around the scene before us. I can see everything from my spot, the docks, the pier, the forest, the train tracks, everything. Tris sits with her legs over the edge of the car while I cling to the pole in the center that connects us to the ride.

She gets up from her spot moves to the built in seats. When her eyes find me, they fill with worry. "You're having a panic attack," she states simply.

I sigh heavily. "I'm not,"

"You kinda are. You're drenched it sweat, despite it being almost forty degrees, your hands are shaking, and you seem to be breathing as if you just ran twenty miles without stopping. Calm down." She says it so fast and rushed I almost don't understand.

"I'm calm,"

"Four—"

"I'm calm!" I yell it louder than I intended, and it makes her jump.

She stares with her mouth hanging open a tiny bit. "Fine," she says after several long moments. Tris gets up and moves so quickly the cart rocks back and forth. I watch in horror as she almost falls back, but I grab her arm and yank her to the pole. Her eyes move from me to the open door and then back to me. "Thanks," she says without meeting my eyes. She looks anywhere but me, and I finally notice my hand is still clutched around her arm. I'm not going to let go.

After several minutes of looking around the landscape with my hand clutched to her arm, her voice breaks the uncomfortable silence. "There!" Tris shouts so suddenly it makes my eyes meet hers in an instant. Her finger points to the bell tower, which has a glowing green light.

* * *

We move silently, walking through the thick trees of the dense forest. With our green glowing flag tucked safely into the carousel, we've got no worries except getting shot. Tris walks on my left, and Christina is right behind her, her hand holding Will's. Uriah follows on my left, taking the advice to not move his constantly talking mouth. Our group makes not a sound.

As quietly as I can, I signal for the others to stay put and I inch forward out of the woods and onto the pier. Slowly but surely, Tris ignores my orders and follows me out once I get far enough away from them. Must she be so stubborn? It reminds me so much of Bea. I glare at Tris once she finally scrolls into view, and she glares right back. A silent conversation between the two of us.

"I SEE 'EM! THROW THE SMOKE!" It's so distant yet loud enough to cause Tris to jump and pull up her gun with her finger on the trigger.

"Go go go!" I order while I follow close behind her. She leads us to one of many of the the abandoned crates for cover. Sea food. Hundreds of years old. We both take turns looking over the side of the crate to see if our eyes find anybody on the opposite team. My group spreads out among the crates, their trigger happy initiates sticking with them.

"Two on my side," she murmurs when she meets my eyes again.

I check my side and sigh lazily. "Seven, possibly more." I grumble.

In a fast movement, she aims on her side and shoots several times. Two groans follow the shots and she throws herself against the crate breathless. "There," her voice is breathy and sweet. "now I can help you." We share a small smile, then her eyes tear from mine to something behind me. Her gun raises, as does mine when I see a man come behind her. Drew. Tris and I shoot simultaneously, causing our hunters to crumple to the ground. After she realizes what happened, she whips her head around to see Drew whimpering on the ground behind her and then back to me with wide eyes.

"Bad ass!" She whispers excitedly. I chuckle in response and jerk my head to my side.

"On three?" I ask. She nods and I count down. "One, two...three!"

We whip around the side of the crate and work together to take down the opposing team. She dodges multiple darts, I never have to. I have better aim than she does, but we get the job done all the same.

"I see it!" She says after she guns down the last man.

I nudge her arm with the butt of my gun and say, "Go get it, then." I don't have time to tell her again because she's already gone.

It all passes in a blur. We fight each other relentlessly. Then I finally run into Eric.

"Found you, Number Boy!" He screams from behind me. We both raise our guns, and nobody outside if this dares to shoot the opposite, this is between me and him. "I've waited for this for so long," he grins.

"You really need to get a hobby, then." His grin disappears and his brows knit together in enmity. He shoots his armory, but misses. Then shoots again, and misses once more. I use his shock and fire, the stim dart sticking in his shoulder. He hisses in pain and aims again. The dart whistles by my ear, grazing it, and sticks itself into the arm of Uriah.

"Ugh, damn it!" He groans.

I don't waste time. I shoot again and hit his leg, causing him to fall to the damp ground. I run over quickly and kick the gun from his reach. My hand grabs his collar and holds him against another crate, the barrel of my gun pressed against his cheek. "If you ever hurt her again, I won't go easy on you. Do you understand?" I growl. It's a vicious sound I've never heard from myself. It scares me. It sounds like Marcus.

"You're threatening a leader," he murmurs painfully.

I take a step back and aim my gun at his chest, my finger twitches, but I don't act on it. That's what he would do. "I'm not like him," I snap before I lower the gun. Eric looks at me confused, but I move away from him before he can ask.

"WOO!" The sound stops me. I turn to the sound and see Tris and Christina holding up the green flag from the balcony of the bell tower, their faces wide and proud. Everybody stops, most cheer, a lot don't.

"Wow," I murmur.

* * *

I wonder what it's like to zip line. I've been wondering ever since I heard Uriah ask Tris to the tower. Even though I'm petrified of heights and I know I'm never going to actually zip line, I want to experience what it feels like. That pure rush of adrenaline.

"EARTH TO QUATRO! Are you in there?" Zeke waves a hand in front of my face as he pours more punch into my already full cup.

"Yeah, yes, sorry. I just spaced out." I run my hand through my already messed up hair and take a swig.

"For five minutes?! I don't think that's healthy." He says as he gulps down yet _another_ cup of whatever mixture of drink he has. "You were thinking about a girl, huh? Was it, let me guess, _Trissy-Poo_?"

I scrunch my nose as if I've smelled something putrid. "Don't call her that," my voice holds just as much disgust as my face, and Zeke laughs.

"You hate it! It's a thing now!" He's too drunk. "Speaking of..." he says into his cup as he takes another drink. I look at him confused. His eyes look behind me, then to me again. I get the hint and turn my head.

Tris strolls in, her hair a mess and her smile is the brightest I've ever seen it. If I had to guess, I'd say zip lining is the most happiest she's been in a long time.

With out looking back at Zeke, I murmur, "I'll be right back."

As I begin to walk towards her, I hear him behind me. "Oooooooh, get it Four! Ohhhhhh!" _Way too drunk._ I ignore him and keep walking.

"Hey, Tris," I call out to her. Her eyes catch me in the crowd as I push through, and for a moment, I think I see them light up.

"Hey," she says softly when I reach her.

"I, uh, just wanted to say congratulations. You did good tonight. I'm proud of you."

"Wow, I haven't heard that for a while," she says. Her words are unsure, nervous, embarrassed. I don't want her to feel that way. I want her to be sure of herself.

"It's what you deserve to hear."

Awkward silence fills the air, and as always, Christina breaks it.

"Tris!" She stands over by the bar, several yards away. Her features soften when she sees who her friend is talking to. Then slowly, she raises up her thumb in approval. I feel my ears become warm in embarrassment and Tris's face reddens as well.

I begin to walk away, but Tris grabs my wrist before I can. "Wait, before you go, I wanted to say thank you. You know, for saving me countless times tonight."

"Don't worry about."

"Can I save you?" I furrow my brows in confusion and she continues. "Please don't drink so close to Chasm."

I chuckle. "Yeah, I probably shouldn't even let you see me like this."

"It's okay, I'll keep your secret." She smiles.

We share a moment, then I realize this can't happen. Not now.

"Go get back to your friends, I'm sure they're waiting on you."

"Yeah," she says. She finally releases my wrist and walks over to Christina and Will.

I make my way back to Zeke and Uriah and stand into our usual group. I look at the red cup in my hands full of a mysterious liquor and throw it in the trash.

* * *

 **Authors note: I AM SOO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO GET OUT! I really apologize, there's no excuse. I will try my hardest to make sure this doesn't happen again. I understand some of you don't like the way Tris talks, and that's okay. You are entitled to your own opinion. But she talks like that because she does. There's a reason, but it'll either be in a future chapter, or you'll have to just figure it out. Another issue, some of you don't like the fact that Four and Tris still haven't recognized each other, and for that I only have one response: ITS A FANFICTION. IT ISNT REAL LIFE. anyways, yea. There you go. I'm sorry if you aren't happy with that. Also, I plan for the next chapter to be a party, so if you could, I would love it if you could give me some good questions/dares. I will definitely give you a shoutout.**

 **As always, I apologize for any spelling or grammatical mistakes**

 **And please, leave me a review and tell me what you think!**


	10. Candor or Dauntless Pt 1

Candor or Dauntless

Tris(POV)

"No, no way in hell," I say, my voice obviously still groggy from sleep. Christina woke me up to ask me a question she knew I'd refuse.

"Oh come on, Tris! It'll be entertaining. A party at the _Pedrads_. They're famed for their parties."

"Christina," I state firmly. "I am not a party person. I don't like social interaction with a heap of boozy idiots."

She huffs in frustration. "One night. Just one night! Then we can do whatever you want! Who knows, maybe you'll meet someone." The tone of her voice rises at the end of her sentence and I glare at her.

"You already know my position on that, Christina!" I hiss.

She smiles in response and moves from her spot on my cot to hers, directly across from me. "I'll do your makeup!" She sings as if that'll win me over.

"I hate makeup," I mumble as I lay on my back.

I suppose, it wouldn't be completely horrible, would it? Though parties aren't necessarily my scene, I don't know if it could have a _negative_ effect on me. And to be fair, I always say no to her suggestions like this. But I had good enough reason; we always had training. Now that stage one is over, we have a couple days to ourselves to prepare for stage two. The Pedrads' party is more of a celebratory congratulations to making it this far. From what I've heard, they're only saying that as an excuse to have yet another party. They apparently hold parties for practically everything.

I look over to Christina to tell her yes when I find her extremely close to my face and jutting her lip out in beg. I laugh and she laughs with me.

"Okay, okay, I'll go," she squeals in excitement, "but on one condition,"

"Anything!" She says excitedly.

"If you get me black-out drunk, I get to punch you as hard as I can. _And_ you have to ensure we get back safely without getting raped." My mind flows to Marcus and a shudder runs through me. I said it half-jokingly but meant every word. "Got it?"

"DONE!" She screams. It's so high pitched that my ear rings moments afterward.

After she does a little happy dance and sings a song about she knew she'd get me to go, her hand claws around my wrist and she jerks me from my seat.

"We need to start getting ready!"

"Chris, the party isn't for another—" I look at the caged clock on the wall of the empty room, "—seven and a half hours! Why do we need that much time?"

She starts to drag me towards the door as her mouth runs wild. "Cause' we're playing Candor or Dauntless! We need clothes and layers and makeup and sh—"

"Wait, wait," I say, holding my spot and keeping her from pulling me any further. "What is Candor or Dauntless?" Fear lines my words. I glance over my shoulder and eye the bin beneath her cot. "And why do you need more clothes?"

"Candor or Dauntless! How do you not kn—oh, that's right. Abnegation are boring people. You don't play games, huh?"

I shake my head.

"Okay, it's simple. Do you know what Truth or Dare is?"

"Oh, I get it. Dauntless for dare and Candor for truth. That makes sense." I say, connecting the dots.

"Yeah," she draws out the word, hinting that she has more to say. "But Candor or Dauntless has a twist. If you don't want to do a dare or answer a question, you have to remove an article of clothing..." she cringes, waiting for me to react.

My eyes widen at the thought of revealing my back, but mostly on the part of removing my clothes in general. In an instant, my arm has pried itself from her tight grasp and I'm running back to my cot, but she catches me by my foot and I fall to the ground. Within seconds, she dragging me across the concrete floor to the entrance of the dorm.

"Will!" I scream, only just noticing his sleeping form not five feet away. On my way out, I grab his arm hanging over his bunk to try and slow her progress, but she's surprisingly strong for how wiry she is. Christina pulls me so hard that Will falls from his bed with a thud. I keep my grasp, as does Christina, and Will wakes with a jolt.

He sits up, eyes wide and alert. He takes a quick second to look at the both of us before shouting, "Christina what the _fuck_?!" Christina falls to the ground in a heap of cackles and I laugh so hard my stomach aches. Will removes my hand from his arm and inches away from us.

"I'm sorry," I say, my hand holding my sore midsection. "She's trying to get me to go a party,"

"Huh," Will says fake annoyed. "And why did I get _dragged_ into this?" He says enthusiastically before laughing at the ridiculous pun. Christina and I don't laugh but look at him with straight faces.

"Are you coming?" I ask with hope a few seconds after. It will be more fun if I know someone is as miserable as me at this stupid party.

"Yeah, I'll go. Only to see what ridiculous dare Christina gives you."

"Ha, ha, ha, _so_ funny." I mock. In reality, I'm terrified.

* * *

The next four hours are full of walking and shopping. Christina drags me to every store; despite my complaints. In the end, I'm arm deep in unnecessary clothing. She even dragged me to Dauntless Girls—the lingerie store. Thank God she didn't force me to buy anything. I felt so awkward in that store. Christina, however, was in a wonderland. I think she spent close to all of her money in there.

"Okay, so, we've got an agenda." Christina smiles, her hands clutched to several different bags. I raise my eyebrow for her to continue. "I will do your makeup and hair, and help you pick out what to wear. Remember, layers are your friend. The more the better. But also think about how hot it's gonna be in that room full of drunk people. It gets humid when you're wearing seventy-layers."

I chuckle. "I can't believe I even agreed to this."

"I can!" she smirks as she begins to dump clothes and makeup from her many bags.

I go and wait patiently on Will's bed in the dorm, empty due to the celebrating initiates. After she finishes organizing her things, Christina strips me of my clothes—as well as my dignity— and throws me in several layers of clothes. For shirts, I wear a black bra, a dark grey tank top, a red crop top, a black sweater, black jacket, and maroon sweatshirt. Five layers all together. For pants, I wear black underwear, black spandex, leggings, dark grey jean shorts, and sweats. I feel so sweaty.

Christina wins in the fight for makeup. But we made a compromise. She can do my makeup, but nothing extravagant. I watch her in the mirror she set up across from us as she lines my eyes and gives me a wing. She then paints my eyelashes with mascara that fans them out. Nothing much, but enough to exenterate my features.

"I like it. Thank you for not going crazy." I smile.

"Well, this is only the beginning." She laughs.

"Christina, how are you not hot? I feel like I'm in the middle sun." She is wearing way more layers than I am.

"Thin layers. No bra." She says casually.

"That's dumb. Why aren't you wearing a bra?"

"Don't have to." She shrugs.

"Then why do I have to?!" I stand from my spot on Will's bed and pace around for something to do while Christina works on her makeup. Her hands work expertly, creating perfect lines.

"You've got bigger boobs, stupid. It's better for you if you wear one." I've never worn an underwire bra before; it's very different and uncomfortable. As well as this conversation.

"I heard boobs," Will says, coming back from the cafeteria. He walks over to me and hands me a heavy paper plate. Within seconds, I'm digging into soft Dauntless Cake and moaning. "You look like an emo marshmallow," Will says, stuffing his face with his own piece of cake.

I roll my eyes sarcastically and say with a mouth full of cake, "Thanks, Will,"

He winks. "Anytime."

I look around at the initiates filing in. People chatter in their own little groups, a few are even getting ready for what I can only assume to be party. We have one hour and even though I'm ready, I can guarantee we're going to find a way to be late.

"Hey, Tris whatcha eat—" Al stops when he looks at me and I shift my weight.

"Dauntless Cake," I say, holding up my plate for proof.

He looks at me, observing every part of Christina's work. Suddenly, I'm uncomfortable.

"Huh,"

"What?" I look down at my attire, suddenly wary.

"I don't remember you being that fat."

I laugh loudly to cover the odd feeling in the pit of my stomach. "Screw off!"

They all laugh with me and continue on with getting ready. I sit on my bunk and finish off the cake I got while I think. _Could Tobias be at this party?_ Given, parties were never really his scene. On no account has he ever liked social gatherings. Sooner or later, I've got to run into him though. Right? Even if he's Factionless, it's impossible not to see him at some point. _Is he looking for me?_ I look at every face at every location. I listen to words to find him and I ask around for him. Has he been doing the same for me?

"EARTH TO TRIS!" Christina yells, shattering me from my thoughts.

"Hmm?" I hum, still focused on the floor.

"Does this okay?" I look up at her. Her eyes are a smoky black and her clothes are layered to perfection.

"Yes, Chris! You look great!" I remark, standing from my spot. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah." She smiles.

Our group takes its time walking there and we laugh and joke on the way there. Both Al and Will wrestle each other as Christina and I chuckle hysterically. The boys argue and fight while Christina talks about how she's going to get me laid.

"Chris, I'm not really ready for that..." I trail off, thinking about Marcus. Even after I've left, he still doesn't leave me alone.

"Oh come on, Tris. I'll make sure it's a good guy!"

"I'm not interested in a one night stand." I huff.

She huffs in mock. "Cause' you're still hung up on your Abnegation boyfriend?"

"Not just that! I'm not the kind of girl that goes and bangs some stranger!"

"Jesus, sorry." Christina surrenders, her hands held up.

"No, I shouldn't have snapped. I'm sorry." I say, slight frustration filling my words.

The rest of the walk is silent. When we finally get to the apartment, I can feel the music through the ground. Christina, Will, and Al all look thrilled to be going to this party. I, however, feel sick to my stomach. I know I have several layers, but what if I'm too scared to actually go through with anything? What if they see my back? I would like to think that these people would not tell if I asked them to. But I can't trust anybody here. There's Max, of course. But he can never know. I won't do that to him. The only other person in this compound who knows what I'm hiding is one of the people I'm most wary of. _Will_ he _be here?_ A sudden shake flows through me.

"Transfers!" Uriah yells opening the door. I hadn't even realized anyone had knocked. He wears a simple black T-shirt and dark denim jeans. No layers from what I can see. The sharp aroma of rum hits my nose and my heart rate quickens. I know that smell all to well; another shiver runs down the course of my spine. _He's not here. He can't hurt you anymore._ The study thump of loud music spreads throughout my bones.

Uriah follows us in, then shuts and locks the door behind us. _He locked it._ A deep panic sets in my and I grip my many layers. _It's okay. You're okay. No one here will hurt you. It's okay._

Uriah takes notice of my discomfort. "Have a phobia of locked doors?"

"Sorta," I say, ducking my head.

"No worries. We just do that so we don't get any crazies wanting the vodka. Or any Pansycakes complaining about our fun." He smiles, patting me comfortably on my shoulder.

"Pansycakes?"

"Dauntless slang."

 _Oh._

I take deep breaths and follow Uriah to what I assume to be the living room. A couch, two bean bags, three dining chairs, and a loveseat line the small square room. Uriah and an older looking Uriah jump on the beanbags, taking first pick. Christina takes my hand as well as Will's and leads us to the larger couch that sits three. I expected more people to be here.

"MarMar!" Uriah yells. I look over to a blonde girl with a black crop top and a black leather jacket. Her black jeans are high wasted and match her black heels well. Her light complexion clashes with the dark and makes her sparkle. "Tell Shauna and Lynn we're ready. And drag Four in here, too." My breath hitches and my hands tangle together. Christina nudges me, giving me an indicating look, and I swat her arm hard. The blonde girl—MarMar—goes to the hallway across from where we came in as Uriah and older Uriah kick each other. If I had to guess, they're definitely brothers. The resemblance is uncanny.

MarMar walks in with three people trailing her. The first is a fairly tall woman with long dark brown hair and light skin. The second is shorter than the first but definitely makes up for it in intimidation. She could certainly beat the shit out of me, that's for sure. For a moment, I think I know her. She has wide brown eyes and a buzzed head. She wears a faded dark green tank top and black pants. The one before her wears several layers of different colors and black shorts.

Then Four.

He walks in confidently with a skin-tight shirt that could either be considered dark grey or faded black. He wears denim jeans and black lace-up shoes. I've never seen him in anything so casual. I like it. A slow breath releases from within me.

When he meets my eyes, his confident strut stops and he freezes for half a second. He looks shocked to see me. _Does he not want me here? Do I look ridiculous?_ I knew this was a bad idea. A soft flush paints my cheeks and a wrap my arms around myself, unable to look at him.

Everybody finds a place, then stops the whispers when Uriah turns down the music to a soft murmur and stands in the middle of the makeshift circle.

"I, as you all know, am the infamous, and most handsome—" he takes a second to wink at me and my blush worsens"—of the Pedrad brothers and—"

"Um, excuse me?!" Older Uriah says, hopping up from the bean bag and going up to Uriah. He definitely has the height advantage. He towers over Uriah like Four towers over me.

"Get on with it!" The girl with the buzzed head yells as she uses full force to chuck a pillow at Uriah. He dodges and sticks out his tongue.

"Anyways," Older Uriah huffs, "we will be playing CANDOR OR DAUNTLESS, BITCHES!" He screams the last part. Everybody else cringes, but I allow myself a short-lived smile. I'm still on guard, but I try not to seem like it. "Anyways, we've got some new faces today. So why don't we say our names and one fact about us." He clasps his hands together and speaks like a children's school teacher.

Everybody, including me, groans.

"I'll start!" Uriah shouts all too excitedly. "I'm Uriah Pedrad, and I can touch my nose with my tongue!" He demonstrates and we sarcastically clap.

"I'm Zeke Pedrad and I'm older than Lil' Uriah here by a year and one day." Older Uriah smiles as he throws an arm over Uriah's broad shoulders. Uriah crosses his arms and sticks his lip out in a mock pout.

"Screw you, KeKe!" He shouts as he shoves Zeke away.

Zeke raises his hand to slap Uriah but is stopped when MarMar throws her heel at his head.

Every person in this room, including Four and excluding Zeke, bursts out laughing. I keep my chuckling to a minimum, noting every exit and weapon whilst everyone's distracted. "Ouchie! Damn Marlene, don't give me a concussion." _Thank God._ I didn't really want to start off calling her MarMar.

"Well hurry up, then!" Her voice is smooth like honey but firm enough to be Dauntless.

"I'll go!" The girl with the dark brown hair says, raising her hand. She sits next to Marlene and the girl with no hair sits on the arm of the loveseat. It's only now I notice Al sitting on the floor in between Christina's and my legs. Another shiver.

"Hi, I'm Shauna, and I can do the splits and shoot you at the same time." Everyone except my friend group chuckles. Four doesn't either.

"Lynn." The buzzed head says while raising her hand halfway then letting it fall. I suddenly recognize her. She's the girl who was yelling at Uriah when we first met.

Uriah looks at her expectantly. "And...?"

She sighs dramatically. " _And_ I'm good intimidation." _Damn right._

Everyone's eyes turn to Four, who sits on one of the dining table chairs. He rolls his eyes and speaks. "This is stupid."

"DO IT, QUATRO!" Zeke yells, pointing his finger at Four.

Four raises his hands in mock surrender. "I'm Four," he sighs, "and I could win in a fight against Zeke on any given day." He smiles and my heart pounds.

Then it's my turn. Everybody looks at me eagerly. "Um, I'm Tris and..." I fight to think of some talent. _I can cry without anybody being able to hear._ "and..."

"—She's great at knife throwing." Christina cuts in for me. Everybody nods, not really knowing how to respond to my awkwardness. Four doesn't really seem to like that Chris spoke on my behalf due to the fact that the second she opens her mouth, his glee dissipates and it's like we're in the training room.

"Trissy here also has a massive set of cajones on her. Not only was she first jumper, but she also went down the zip line head first on her first time _and_ she challenges Eric on the daily. Not to mention the fact that she let Number Boy throw knives at her head to save that dingus." Uriah quips as he jerks his head to Al. Al reddens and ducks his head.

"Shit. That was you, Stiff?" Lynn says, her mouth open. I bristle at the word _. Stiff_. But ignore and nod. "Damn. Gotta hand it to you. You _do_ got some cajones."

"There is still a thin line between bravery and idiocy." Four cuts in. I meet his hard stare, challenging him. _Don't back down. This isn't the training room. He's not your intsructor here_.

Christina continues as to fill the silence. "I'm Christina and I'm a human-lie-detector."

"Lemme guess, Candor transfer?" Shauna asks.

"Indeed I am." Christina smiles.

"And I'm Will. I studied medicine so I'm good at that."

"You're a Nose?" Marlene says, her head cocked to the side.

"Yes, yes I am." He says proudly.

Al finishes off by saying he's got a green thumb. We all take a minute to officially meet each other and then the Pedrad Brothers speak once more.

"The rules are simple. It's truth or dare." Uriah says. "The only difference is that if you refuse to answer the question or complete the dare, you must remove a piece of clothing. Shoes and socks don't count. We don't stop till someone is naked."

I glare over to Christina and she laughs softly.

"My house, I'll start," Zeke says.

Uriah begins to protest but stops when he sees Marlene raise her other shoe.

"Four, my best friend, my brother, Candor or Dauntless?" Zeke smiles a trademark Pedrad grin.

He thinks for a second. "Dauntless."

Zeke, however, doesn't waste a second. "I dare you to let me slap you as hard as I can!" Zeke says with an obvious giddiness in his voice.

Four sighs loudly, stands, and walks over to him. He nods and Zeke winds up his hand. We all watch with anticipation as Zeke uses his full body strength to slap Four. His hand collides with his face in a loud _clap_ and Four stumbles a bit but is otherwise barely fazed. After a second, Zeke makes a loud squealing sound as he holds his hand and falls to his knees. Four shoves him over and goes back to his seat.

Four's eyes wash over everybody until they land on Lynn. "Lynn,"

"Dauntless," she says while playing with the ripped hem of her shirt.

"I dare you to say one nice thing to me."

I can tell from looking at her, she's not one for hearts and rainbows. She looks like she enjoys cutting faces off of dolls and wearing them as masks.

She groans loudly. "Four," she struggles, thinking hard. "You don't look like a complete asshat today."

I hold in my laugh. I'm surprised she can talk to him that way. She can't be any older than I am; they must be good friends. Or, as good as friends as you can be with someone such as Lynn.

"Marlene, Candor or Dauntless?"

Marlene sighs and looks over to Uriah. Then she closes her eyes and whispers, "Candor."

"PANSYCAKE!" Uriah screams so loud his voice cracks. I allow myself another laugh.

"That's not even a word, dipshit!" Lynn yells.

"Oh, it will be! Just you wait, Princess!" Uriah screams. She growls at the name and he backs off, hiding behind his older brother.

"Anyways, Marlene. What is the worst thing you've ever done to somebody?"

"Hmm, I'd have to say that one time I duck taped Leo to one of the walls in the Pit when we were drunk. The next morning, he had dicks and mean words written all over him."

"WHEN DID YOU DO THAT TO LEO?!" Shauna yells, causing almost all of us to jump.

"Like, two weeks ago." Marlene breaks out in giggles, as does their distinct friend group. I notice I'm the only one not smiling. "Zeke, Candor or Dauntless."

"I ain't no Pansycake, Dauntless."

"Fine. For using that God awful word, I dare you to moon the Pit."

Zeke drops his mouth. "No, no, no, no, no, no. Not again."

"What, I thought you weren't a Pansycake?" Marlene taunts.

He stares down at the ground, looking torn. After a minute or so, he simply gets up and drags his feet out the door.

Marlene, Uriah, and Zeke leave to the Pit, with the promise of bringing back a video. The room chats idly, leaving Four and I the only quiet ones. I pick at the loose threads on the arm of the couch lazily, thinking about how hot it is in here. I almost remove a layer but decide to save it for when I need it. Anything I can do to hide my actual body.

"Having fun?" Christina asks, poking my arm to get my attention.

I nod my head and smile. "Yeah. It's actually not as bad as I thought. And I definitely expected more people." It undoubtedly makes me more comfortable that this isn't the entire faction and just a small family. This reminds me of how my family and I would sometimes bicker. I miss that.

Minutes pass, and sure enough, Zeke comes in with a red face and a trail of cackling teens.

"You all are assholes," he says, pointing a finger at each and every one of us. I can't hold it anymore. I bust out laughing and others follow suit. They almost look surprised that the quiet girl finally gave an emotion. " _Yes._ Pay up, bastard!" Zeke says to his little brother.

"Damn it," Uriah says as he hands him a twenty. I look at them curiously and Uriah explains. "We made a bet on who would get you to laugh first; me or Zeke. And obviously, I lost."

I should be mad that they made a bet on me, but I'm not surprised. It's usual sibling banter; not that I would know.

Marlene shows us the video, and Uriah almost died from laughing so hard. Even though he saw it in person, it still tickles him the right way. I can see in Zeke's face that he's already devising his plan for revenge.

"Okay, okay," Zeke says after we've all watched the video five times. "Let's get on with it." Everyone finds their seat and we start up again.

His eyes scan over everyone and land on _me._

"Tris, was it? Candor or Dauntless."

I'm not necessarily sure what to do. Do I make an absolute fool of myself, or do I be called a Pansycake? The word flows out quietly.

"Dauntless."

He thinks for only a second, but a sudden look takes his face an I instantaneously regret my decision.

"You're a Stiff right?"

"Formerly," I grit.

"So you have limited experience of intimacy?"

"Yes," it scares me that the lie came so easily. I've become an official master.

"So if I dared you to make out for thirty seconds with whoever I bring in here, would you?"

I take a long sigh. I'm not necessarily one for things like that anymore. I used to be the rebel who was set on letting the world know she didn't want to be Abnegation. Hell, the last person I kissed was Tobias, and that was over a year ago. I'm a bit out of practice as well. But ever since Marcus did what he did to me, I've been on edge about any sort of contact. I don't like being touched.

But I'm Dauntless now. I'm free from him. I can't let him dictate my life now that I'm away from him. _He's not here. He can't hurt you anymore._ I answer to myself and myself only. I don't want to be Beatrice, the shy girl who was only herself around one person, who wanted and pretended to be more than she was, who let a man break her body, who was suspicious of every single person she met, who looked for cracks where there weren't any. It's time to start being Tris, the brave, wild, crazy, _happy_ Dauntless girl who will take on any challenge you give her. Who is strong and stubborn.

"Yes,"

Every face looks taken aback by my answer. Zeke just smiles and zips out the door.

"You don't have to do this, y'know." Christina murmurs to me. The only thing I'm worried about is being considered a slut after this.

"I know. It's okay." I breathe, attempting to take all her worry away. It doesn't work.

Zeke comes in about two minutes later with a man I've never seen before. He's tall with brown hair and brown eyes. A shadow lines his jaw. Very muscular and lean. Overall very attractive. I was certainly hoping it wouldn't be some drunk asshole, and this man appears to be in no way drunk. I don't think I will mind kissing him.

Christina pinches my arm and whispers, "Lucky you."

"Who the hell is that?" Lynn says from the kitchen, an apple in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other.

Zeke claps the man on the back as he stands there leisurely. "This beautiful specimen is Alyx. He works with Four and me in the control room." _So that's where he usually works._ Alyx wears a simple T-shirt and sweats, all in black. He scans the room. I assume he's trying to figure out who he's going to make out with for half a minute. "Come on, Trissy, stand up. Let this hunk see you!" Zeke smiles, jumping like Christina does when she gets new makeup.

I stand nervously, my hands gripping the hem of my shirt. From the second he sees me stand, I can see his disappointment. _Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Ignore it. Doesn't matter._ With all I am, I try my hardest to ignore the fact he doesn't want to kiss me as I walk up to him. I have no time to be self-consious. I just want to get this over with. Zeke sets up the stopwatch in unison with turning up the music. The loud thump electrifies me and I nod to Zeke to start the time, then I grab Alyx's face with both hands and pull him to me.

It certainly isn't the worse kiss I've had, but not the best. I can guarantee that this man has kissed way more girls than Tobias, who has only kissed one. Well, before Dauntless. Either way, Tobias takes the cake. This kiss is slow, sensual, but has a lot of tongue and soon my mouth is covered with his saliva. His arms grip each other around me. _Maybe this isn't as bad as he thought._ He certainly seems to be enjoying himself. One of his hands slide down to my butt and he grips hard. I'm sure my face show my discomfort at the action. I jab him in the ribs to let him know that it's not okay. He doesn't get the hint, or ignores it, so I jab him harder. He finally lets go just as Zeke turns down the music, insinuating that time is up. He pulls away from me with a satisfied grin holding his lips. I'm tempted to slap it off of him, but I give him a pointed and hard glare instead. With his arms still around me, I shove him off of my frame angrily and with force. Then I go back to my spot next to Christina and hold her hand. It's a message we both understand. _Watch him_.

"Alright, Alyx, you can go now," Zeke says, busying himself with his phone.

"Actually," he says, holding his chin with his hand. "I think I'll stay. Hell of an entrance, I'll say."

"Great! The more the merrier!" Uriah smiles. Zeke finds his spot on a bean bag and so does Uriah. Then we start up again.

Uriah slides himself halfway off his seat and nudges my leg with his sock. "Your turn."

I think for a moment, my eyes looking around the room for someone to dare or ask an inappropriate question.

"Shauna, right?" I ask, hoping I get her name right. She nods with a smile. "Candor or Dauntless?"

She doesn't waste a beat. "Dauntless." She says like it's obvious.

"I dare you to kick the person you have a crush on in the nuts."

Lynn spits out her drink and starts laughing as Shauna hides her face in her hands.

"Come on _sister._ Kick him in the nutters." Lynn can't even get through the sentence without cackling. _They're sisters?!_ Christina looks at me with the same question in mind and we shrug in unison.

"Why don't you kick _your_ crush in the nutters, Lynn!" Shauna screams at her. This only causes Lynn to roar louder.

Shauna huffs and gets up. "Every guy, get up and squeeze your eyes shut." She sighs, looking at the floor.

The only man to do so is Zeke.

She glares at Four, Alyx, and Uriah, who are standing but hold their eyes wide open. She looks at Four and mouths, _"You know?"_

 _"We all do!"_ Uriah mouths back, making dramatic movements. Alyx nods in agreement. She hides her face in her hands once more.

She walks up to Zeke and throws her heel back, then pushes it forward so fast that I almost miss it. He falls to the floor in both surprise and pain. Zeke holds his crotch as he grunts on the floor.

"I like you too, wanna go on a date?" He forces out through gritted teeth. She pecks his lips in response and everyone applauds.

"It took a Stiff for you two to get together! You better thank her!" Uriah cheers.

Shauna rolls her eyes but looks at me all the same. "Thanks, Tris." She laughs as she hoists Zeke's arm over her shoulders.

"Yeah, thanks, Tris." Zeke grunts as she drags him to the island in the small kitchen. I laugh with everyone else. Shauna gets him a large bottle of vodka from the freezer and hands it to him. He pops the cap off and takes a long swig before holding it to his crotch. They have their own private conversation and I can tell it's a good one from their large smiles and flushed cheeks.

"Alright, a fifteen-minute reception for KeKe to heal. Then we pull out the big guns." Uriah smiles.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

 **Here's another chapter guys! Sorry this one took a bit, but it's here and i hope you like it. I'm currently working on part two. lets hope it doesn't take as long as these last few ones yeah? This one was kinda boring, so i will try to make the next more entertaining with more stunts and maybe some rooommmannncee? Who knows?**

 **As always, i apologize for any spelling/grammatical errors i missed. i accept cronstructive critism and would love some dares or truths for the following chapter(s)**

 **Please review and tell me what you thought or what i should fix/change**

 **HAPPY WRITING!**


	11. Candor or Dauntless Pt 2

Candor or Dauntless Pt 2

Four(POV)

I don't like the way he grabbed her. And from her reaction, I can tell she didn't like it either. I'm glad she jabbed him in the ribs because I've never seen anybody stand up to him like that. Especially not someone like Tris.

Alyx has always been like that, thinking he can do whatever to whoever he wants because of his strength. I hate it. What really made it worse was when she grabbed Christina's hand; Tris was scared and told her so.

"Dude, stop brooding. You look like Eric and it's scary." Zeke says, slowly sitting down next to me with vodka held closely to the damage. He offers me some, but I kindly reject.

"You don't want my nut juice?" It sounds like an accusation.

"Now that you put it like that, I definitely don't want your nut juice." I chuckle. He acts offended and pretends to wipe away a tear before laughing.

"So, I notice you glaring between Trissy and Alyx. Feelin some _jealousy_ perhaps?"

"I don't feel jealous, prick. I can just tell she didn't like the way he grabbed her ass." I say, flicking the glass vodka bottle. He flinches.

"I noticed that too. But we've got her back, she's part of the fam now." Zeke smiles before drinking a little.

I lean back in the chair. "It's been forty minutes, how do you accept her into the gang already?" I cave and pull the vodka from his hands, taking a long swig.

"Here's the thing, Cuatro, if she's really how Uriah says she is, then she's good with me. Any friend of Uriah is a friend of mine. Maybe try letting people in some time, yeah?"

I drink again in response.

Zeke gets up—with much difficulty—and goes back to Shauna. It's about time they got together. They've liked each other since they met last year, on one of our 'double dates.' Those were terrible. Most the girls he set me up with were a little slutty, some were even drug addicts. Just girls Zeke found in the Pit.

Pointless chatter flows around the room and my eyes fall on her. It's hard not to notice how uncomfortable Tris is after that encounter. And I can tell Uriah _really_ didn't like it from the way he reacted. He got on the edge of his seat with a quickness the second Alyx's hand started to slide down. I catch him brooding, too, a few times when I look at him, but it never lasts and he covers it with his playful personality. Honestly, I never considered that Uriah and Tris might be friends. She's stubborn but quiet. I know she's hiding something; a secret she will most likely keep to her grave. Uriah is an open book, you know everything about him within the first five minutes of meeting him.

I finish off the vodka and set it on the empty chair next to mine. Uriah walks to the center of the room and quiets the talking.

"Alright, time to start up again. And this time, no loser dares like 'Say something nice to me!'" He mocks me in a weird voice and I roll my eyes. "We're not pussies! Let's go!" He screams. _Dear God._ How am I friends with this kid?

"I went last! My turn!" Shauna yells while raising her hand up high. Her eyes roam over the room, her mind carefully calculating her next victim. "Tris,"

"What? I just went!" She argues, gesturing to Alyx.

Shauna chuckles. "I don't care. There are no rules in this game." Tris huffs and waits for her to continue. "Candor or Dauntless,"

She sighs heavily, "Can—"

"PANSYCAKE!" The Pedrad Brothers scream it so loud that both their voices crack at the same time. She shoots a pointed glare at them and they cower behind each other.

Shauna thinks. "What is...you're biggest secret?"

Tris doesn't seem surprised by the question, but I can see the war inside her head. I know she was abused, I've seen her back. Will she tell the truth or something else? It's hard to let your guard down around people you don't know. It's hard to let your guard down when you're so used to holding it up. Hell, I haven't even told them about my past. Of course, she could lie. It's what I've done and will probably continue to do. When you get abused, lying becomes second nature. You get good at it and you can come up with the most believable story on the spot.

She looks over to me, her face full of controlled worry. _What do I do?_ The question is as plain as day in _my_ eyes. It's her decision. This is her secret, her demon. Her choice whether or not she wants to disclose this to these people. I know I haven't.

I shrug in response. Then she bites her lip as she looks to the floor, taking her pick. Ultimately, she removes the first layer of the game. The sweatshirt is thick, and her immediate reaction to the cool air is obvious.

"Ah, a Stiff with secrets." Lynn smiles. Again, Tris rolls her eyes.

A sudden knock rings on the door. Uriah hops up and races Zeke to the newcomers. A second later, we hear both the brothers scream 'Transfers!' _Great._ More initiates.

Peter, Molly, Drew, and Tori all walk in. _At least Tori's here._ I didn't realize this was an open invite.

"Now we can get this party fucking started!" Zeke yells. Tori moves the vodka bottle next to me and sits. She opens it to take a swig but notices it's empty and drops it to the floor.

Tori nudges my arm, "How are you doing?" she murmurs to me.

"Fine," I murmur back. I have always considered Tori a friend of mine. She made both of my tattoos and spent countless hours inking them into my skin. She knows about Marcus and is the only one who remembers my real name. She never uses it, though she sometimes threatens. Tori thinks I'm too Dauntless for Tobias and believes Four is a far more suitable name.

Peter glares at Tris as his group finds places around the room. After the beating she got from him, I would've ducked, too, if he looked at me the way he's looking at her. But this isn't the training room, and she has friends here who will back her up.

"Um, Four?" Her voice breaks me away from my brooding. "Candor or Dauntless?"

I have the odd feeling to trust her. I think I'll try Zeke's technique.

"Candor," I say emotionless. Zeke's mouth drops. I never, _ever_ , pick Candor. Uriah is thankfully too far in shock to call me that god-awful word.

She thinks for only a moment. "Who would you bang, marry, and kill out of the people in this room?" I didn't know Stiffs knew that game. I know I didn't until I started to hang out with Zeke more.

I hesitate for a moment. "I would marry Tori because she isn't annoying and she doesn't say the word _pansycake_ every five seconds." Zeke mocks hurt, and Uriah pretends to stab himself in the heart and die. "Kill, I'd kill Zeke, 'cause you piss me off. And I would bang..." I can't say any of the initiates for obvious reasons, even though want to, "Shauna. You're arguably one of the hottest people here." I start laughing halfway through the sentence because of the look she gives me. Thankfully, she doesn't take it seriously.

"Ec-fucking-scuse me?!" Zeke roars. "That's my woman now, Four. Show some damn respect." I can't really tell if he's joking or not. Either way, I throw my hands up in surrender.

Tris laughs, satisfied with my answer.

"Alyx," I say, my smile gone before it came.

He looks at me suspiciously. "Dauntless, brother."

"Don't call me brother. Get a tattoo of _whatever_ the Pedrads decide on." My smile crawls back.

Alyx's eyes widen, then he gulps his beer. "Let's do this."

* * *

Uriah invited Tris, but _only_ Tris. So Zeke, Uriah, Tris, Tori, Alyx, and I are all on our way to the parlor. Tori volunteered to do the tattoo for free because she knew it'd be hilarious.

Tris and I walk alone at the back of the pack. Everyone else is discussing the permanent tattoo.

"What do you think the Pedrads will do?" says Tris. I note that we're far back enough that no one will hear our conversation.

"Don't know. Depends," I shrug, keeping my answers vague.

"On?"

I sigh, "On who wins and how pissed they are." Tris looks at me confused. "The boys will most likely play rock-paper-scissors to decide who picks what. Alyx is a bit of an ass if you didn't already notice. He's only here because of his father's position in Erudite. His dad pulled the strings to get him here, so he thinks he can do anything he wants."

Tris huffs. "I hate people like that. Thinking they're better than everybody else simply because of money or because of their position. When it comes down to it, he's just a person."

She makes a good point. He is simply flesh and bone.

"Hey—" I rub the back of my neck, "—are you okay? I know what Alyx did make you uncomfortable."

She plays with her hands. "I'm fine, it just freaked me out. You can never be too careful with people like that. Once you let them know you won't do anything when they do something like that, then it only gets worse. They'll start getting more handsy, more violent."

"You have experience?"

Tris looks down at the floor, fiddling with her fingers harder.

"Yeah,"

Must have something to do with her abuse. My heart aches for her. I can't imagine what that must be like, having my body at someone's disposal. I'm guessing she might have been sexually abused, and you can't just shake something off like that. I bet she has a fear of men or rape in her landscape.

Even though I was abused, Marcus never _touched_ me like that.

I try not to give too much pity in my tone. "I'm sorry, that—"

She stops and looks me in the eyes for the first time since we left the apartment. "With all due respect, I don't want your pity. Or anybody's. I just…I want to forget it ever happened."

Her eyes harden and she masks previous shyness with mad authority. Again, something inside me twinges and a different type of anger fills me.

I turn away from her and continue to walk.

"I'm sorry if I offended you in any way." She says jogging up to me. "I didn't mean to—"

"It's not you, Tris." My voice comes harsher then I meant. I calm it down a little. "I am sorry you had to go through that, it's bullshit."

"Yeah. But if anything, it made me better." She says, her head lowered.

The tattoo parlor is empty when we arrive. Tori's tattoo partner Daniel is here, but he's asleep on one of the chairs. Tris immediately ventures into the parlor, looking at designs and keeping to herself.

"Alright. Take a seat right there at my station and I'll go get my stuff." Tori smiles, pointing to a reclining chair. She heads off and Alyx begrudgingly sits down.

"Ah ah ah," Zeke says, waving a finger like he's scolding a child. "Backwards."

"Backwards?" Alyx says, his jaw open.

" _Backwards._ " The brothers say coincidentally.

Reluctantly, he turns and straddles the chair, his arms around the back and his legs on either side.

"Take off your shirt," says Uriah, motioning the action with his arms.

Alyx starts to get up, but the boys run and push him down. It's only now that I realize that this is his punishment for Tris. And not only Tris but for everything he's been a real dick about. _This_ is why I'm friends with this kid.

Eventually, Tori comes back with a three-tier cart filled with inks, gloves, paper, lotion, bandages, and the tattoo gun.

Both the boys pull Tori aside and whisper in a small circle.

"Hey, Four, what are they saying over there?" Alyx whispers.

I glare at him. "I'm the same distance away as you are."

"Yeah, but, like, can you hear _anything_?"

"Even if I could, I wouldn't tell you."

His face falls. "Aw, man, don't do me like that."

I scowl at him and walk away. He begins to protest, but I ignore it and start to look at designs.

All kinds of works line the walls, each a different style. Some made by Daniel, most by Tori. You can tell which is which because both have a different reoccurring theme that only the illustrator can do. Daniel has roses and sharp lines while Tori has swirls and the faction symbols worked into her art. You can only see them if you look for them. I've made it game to find the symbols in the most busy parts of the artwork.

The familiar sound of buzzing fills my ears and I turn to see Alyx clutching the seat while getting a lower back tattoo. He visibly clenches his teeth and squeezes his eyes shut as Tori needles in whatever design the Pedrads decided on.

Zeke walks over to me, looking at the designs as he does so.

"What'd you guys decide on?"

"That, my numbery friend, is a surprise." He says, flicking my nose.

I hit his hand away. "Numbery isn't a wo—"

"Stop twisting my arm! I can't tell you!" Zeke screams dramatically.

Playfully, I shove him away and point at a particular work that stands out to me. "What do you think about that one?"

He nods his head approvingly, not making eye contact and only staring at the picture. "It's nice. Where'd you get it?"

I shrug. The design is large, and I'd definitely have to size it down. Colossal hands, I'm assuming God's, cup together to hold a blue watercolor man and a purple watercolor woman. The man and woman hold each other tightly as if it's the last time they'll be together. God's hands create a type of shield, protecting them from the outside darkness.

"I don't know if I'd get it. But it's a really nice piece of art."

Zeke nods. "It is really cool. You know what I wanna get?"

"Hm?" I hum, glancing around at the other pieces of paper taped to the wall.

Zeke starts jumping up and down, a giddiness taking ahold of him. "A fucking cobra!"

"Yeah?" I smile. "Where?"

By the look on his face, I know he's going to say something that will both amuse and disgust me.

"Duh. A snake on the snake."

I shove him harder than last time, walking away laughing.

I go over to Tori to see what she's doing and almost lose it. Stenciled in purple on Alyx's back are four words I never thought I'd see tattooed on someone. Centered on his lower back are the words, ' _Gleamin Semen'_ and right under it is ' _Insert here'_

"What? What's wrong? What is it?" Alyx says, obvious worry in his voice.

I pat his back. "Nothing. You're doing great." I fight to hold in a laugh and I succeed to some extent. Those Pedrads will have hell to pay when he finds out what's on his body forever.

* * *

Once we get back to the apartment, everyone crowds around us and asks what he got. I keep quiet, as do the Pedrads and Tori.

"You find out when he does." Tori laughs at the others. They all mumble responses and we go back to our seats.

"Four," Alyx says.

"Dauntless," I say as I sit down on the dining chair.

A devilish smile masks the sting from his new tattoo. "Play Quickie with Little Ms. Virgin over here." He grins as he jerks his head at Tris. She glares and looks like she's about to make a comeback, but decides against it.

"What the hell is Quickie?" Tris hisses.

"Basically you go into a room, normally a closet, and make out until someone bursts in," Shauna says while eyeing Alyx angrily.

Tris almost looks scared, but it's gone as soon as it came. I consider it. We wouldn't have to make out and I wouldn't have to take off my shirt. But I can tell she really doesn't want to do it. And it would be inappropriate anyways. Plus, Max might beat my ass if he found out I had inappropriate interactions with an initiate in this kind of setting.

I peel off my shirt, glad I wore an undershirt. I throw my shirt down next to my chair leg and cross my arms.

"Peter,"

"Finally!" He shouts.

"Candor or Dauntless?"

"Dauntless!"

A smile creeps up on my lips. "Go to the Pit and start a fight with the biggest guy you find." I have a feeling only the initiates will understand this dare. I know Tris does because she grins to herself.

His original enthusiasm now replaced with obvious resentment, Peter gets up with irritation.

Everyone bolts up—except for Zeke and I—and they leave the room.

Minutes pass before he speaks. "Good one, bro." Zeke laughs as he walks over to the fridge. I look down at my watch. Five minutes since they've been gone. _A new record._

"You know how much I hate being called that."

"But you are my bro!" He wines. "Want a beer?"

"No, I'm good."

Zeke trudges over and plops down next to me. With two beers in his hand, I figure he brought me one anyway. I'm about to protest, but then I see him pop the caps off using the back of the chair and drink them both at the same time. The necks of the bottles fill his cheeks along with the beer.

I watch with my mouth open as he chugs down both beer bottles.

"You are an alcoholic." I joke.

"Indeed. So, my friend, I am no longer single. Which means that I've got to get your ass taken."

I groan loudly. "No Zeke. I don't trust you to set me up with anyone."

He acts offended. "Why?!"

"Because the girls you send me are bimbos!"

"Classy bimbos."

"Bimbos nonetheless."

"Fine," he sighs, "what kind of girl am I supposed to send you?"

"I don't want you to send me a girl! I can find one on my own."

"Oh come on. I don't want you to be a Single Pringle anymore. You've been dead single since you—"

I cut him off by slamming a pillow into his face. He wasn't expecting it, so he falls over onto the ground. He lies there for a few minutes pretending to cry while I do my best to hold it together.

He rubs his face before seething, "You've started war, my friend."

He's about to retaliate, but the door swings open and people poor in. _That didn't take long._

"Where's Peter?" Zeke questions. It's only now I notice he isn't here.

Christina responds, a loud smile on her face. "Infirmary! He got _destroyed._ Didn't even get a punch in!"

"Have you?" Will retaliates. Christina gives him a glare and Tris starts laughing.

Lynn cuts in and smiles, "Dude, the guy _broke his nose._ That was the fucking best thing ever!" She suddenly shoves Uriah over and runs to one of the bean bags, beating him in an unauthorized race.

"Damn it, Lynn!" Uriah snaps as he pushes himself up.

"Yeah, he got knocked out cold." Tris murmurs. She almost looks sorry for him. "His friends and Al decided to stay with him. So, who's turn is it now?"

Shauna raises her hand. "I'll go for him. Tris,"

She sighs and says, "Candor."

The brothers are about to say it, but she shoots another glare their way. Everyone finds their seats and we continue.

Shauna thinks before saying, "Have you lost your virginity? And if so, to who and how old were you?"

The look of terror crosses her face immediately, it stays but only for a second. Her hesitation is answer enough, but she must give an answer or remove something.

She looks at no one as she removes the black leather jacket and the black sweater under it then she removes her sweats. Three questions, three articles.

Everyone stares at her in shock as she stares at the floor in shame.

Each one of the people in this room except for Tris look at each other, not really sure what to do. I glare at each one when they meet my eyes and mouth, _Stop._ At that, they mask their surprise and play calm.

"Tris," I say softly.

She looks up at me and I expect to see watery eyes or embarrassment or a shy face, but all I receive is rage.

"It's your turn." My voice hardens to mask my pity. I know from what she told me earlier that it wasn't consensual. That's what pisses me off the most.

With anger obvious in her voice, she simply asks, "Candor or Dauntless?"

I'm guessing it's meant for me. "Dauntless."

She thinks for a minute. As the time passes, I can see her anger crumble.

"I dare you to get five numbers from girls down at the Pit."

A smile crosses my face. "Pfft. Easy."

"Show me then," she challenges, a smile playing on her lips.

I get up, and she trails me. No one else follows.

The walk to the Pit is quiet and kinda awkward, but it's nice that it's just the two of us.

When we make it to the Pit, Tris shoves me into the crowd. I watch her move to the wall and stand with arms crossed.

I walk up to the first girl I see standing at the bar. She's pretty, with green eyes and light brown hair that curls to the middle of her exposed back. I'd guess she's maybe 20 or 21. Her outfit is a bit skimpy to me, but she's otherwise very pretty. She stands like she's waiting for someone.

I walk up to her and tap her shoulder. When she turns, I smile. "Hi, what's your name?" I say.

She smiles back and completely turns to me. "Marie." Marie takes my hand in hers and shakes. We make small conversation, talking about simple things.

"Excuse me, Four, but my phone died. Do you mind if I call one of my friends to see where they're at?"

"Sure," I murmur, positive that I failed. Then again, I am getting one of her friend's number. Mission accomplished. I hand her my phone and she types in whatever number she has in her mind. A second later, she hands the phone back.

"I just called myself, now I have your number. We'll talk later." With a wink, she turns and fights through the crowd, presumably to her friends.

I turn around to Tris and hold up one finger cockily. She rolls her eyes and holds up four fingers. _Four more girls._

I glide through the crowd, making light conversation, forcing myself into groups. I've never really done things like this before, I'm not the partying kind. Two girls actually give me their numbers before I even get to open my mouth. I turn back to Tris and show my progress. After walking around a bit, I slowly make it back to the bar.

Suddenly, a hand grabs my wrist and I'm being pulled. A tall woman with vivid curly red hair and bright blue eyes drags me away from the bar. I try to protest, but she doesn't listen. We end up on the dance floor. _I don't dance._ After five minutes of arguing, I look over to Tris for help as this woman starts to grind on me, only to see she isn't there.

"Excuse me," I murmur as I pull away from her. I push through the crowd, scouring the room for a short girl with blonde hair.

I finally find her and relief fills me. _Why?_ I watch in anticipation as the scene escalates. I see a man with her, talking to her. I try to get to her, but I'm frozen. All I can notice is how uncomfortable she looks. He orders a drink, drops a pill in it, and tries to hand it to her but she refuses. She tries to walk away but he grabs her and roughly jerks her back. The look on her face is different from the one she had in the apartment with Alyx, that one was anger and a little bit of fear. The one I'm looking at now is sheer terror. The man looks almost as if he's scolding her. Then he pulls her closer using her arm and whispers in her ear. Several emotions fly across her face; fear, shock, sadness, and anger. But anger stays. She yanks her hand away from him and pushes him away. He starts to charge her, but she grabs the cup and throws the alcohol all over him and chucks the cup at his head. That shocks him long enough for her to run, but she doesn't move.

I begin to move but I don't get there quick enough. I don't see it, but I hear the smack and the thud of her falling. I shove people away as I run to the man. He doesn't notice me, he's too busy calling her a bitch and whispering another thing in her ear. When I come up behind him, I grab the collar of his leather jacket and punch him in the face as hard as I can. He falls to the floor with a broken nose. He starts to get up again, but I punch him again and he's out.

I go over to her and grab her arm to pull her up, but she freaks out and pulls away. With her back still to me, I can hear her crying. It's only now I notice the people gathering around us. Hell, even the music stopped. I crouch down next to her and softly murmur "Tris, let's go." She nods in response. I grab her hand and pull her up. She keeps her head down as I drag her out of the Pit and into the maze of hallways.

"Did he touch you?" I say with a hint of anger.

"Nowhere inappropriate." She mumbles, her crying evident in her voice.

A halt and turn to her. "Are you okay?"

She pulls her hand from mine and crosses her arms. "I will be." Her hair covers her face as she glares at the floor so I can't see the bruise.

"Let me see," I say softly, trying not to be too forceful. She's breathing heavily, trying her best not to start crying. Maybe she's trying not to have a panic attack. Tris finally looks up at me, her face wet and red. Using both hands, I push her hair back behind her ears and find the bruise on her left cheek. I grab her jaw gently and use it to maneuver her face so I can get a better look.

"You're an idiot." I finally state, letting go of her and stepping back. _I'm getting too close. Back off._

"I know."

"You of all people know not to anger people like him."

"I know."

I huff. "Then why! Why would you piss him off?!"

"What did you expect me to do, Four?! Let him drug me? Let him do whatever he wanted? I've always fought back, and I'm not going to stop."

"You're going to get yourself killed," I growl.

"So what! So what? I've got no family, I've got nobody here! Who would miss me?" Her voice sort of tapers off at the end, and she goes quiet at what she just said. I don't think she knew she felt that way until now.

"'So what?' So, if you just let go and not care about anything, they win. Your abusers, that guy, everyone who's against you wins. You said you've always fought back, then keep fighting."

Angry tears roll down her face and she wipes them away with her bare arm. I notice what she's wearing: a red shirt cut off halfway to reveal the dark grey shirt under it. Then short shorts over leggings. She was an easy target.

"What happened? Tell me everything."

She takes a deep breath and sits down on the floor, her back against the stone wall. I sit down next to her but am sure to keep my distance as to not scare her more.

"It was after that redhead started to drag you away. His name is Mark, or that's what he told me, at least. He tried to make simple conversation, but I wasn't interested. I made that very clear. Then he started to get kinda violent. He did that thing you guys do when you put your hand on the wall and trap girls in? Y'know?" I nod in response. "So I went with him to the bar. He was already angry, and I knew if I refused him again he'd hurt me. We chatted there for a bit, but then he bought me a drink. He dropped a pill in it, said it spices it up and makes it taste better. I'm not a dumbass. I knew what it was."

"Rohypnol?" I ask.

She nods her head, her eyes trained on the floor. "The fucker tried to roofie me. I said no and tried to leave, but he grabbed me. Hard. Started to berate me like I was a child. Then," she takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself, but I can see the tears threatening to fall. "Then he whispered in my ear that I'd like it, that he'd fuck me and I'd like it." Her voice betrays her stone face. "Said that it'd be best if I stopped trying to fight it. That he was going to do whatever he wanted to me and there was nothing I could to do stop it, then he bit my ear." She shivers as she thinks about it. "I was so angry. I didn't even think. I just grabbed the drink and threw it at him. Then the cup. Obviously, he didn't like that too much. So then he punched me and here we are." She wipes her face and turns to me. "Thank you. Who knows what could've happened if it was just me."

"Don't mention it," I say.

"But I will. No ones ever saved me from people like that and you did. I'm in your debt."

"No, really it's fine—"

"Shut up. If you need anything, just ask."

I laugh softly. "Okay, okay. You owe me a favor. Do you want an ice pack?"

She shakes her head, "Nah. I'm okay. Not as cool as the broken nose Peter got, but still. Has it gotten worse?"

I just look at her and grin. "Yes. It has."

She smiles in response and turns back to facing straight. Her head rests against the wall, her eyes looking to the ceiling.

We sit here for several minutes in calm silence before I speak. "Are you ready to go back?"

"I don't know. I really don't want to be bombarded with questions. Especially from Christina."

 _What am I doing? I'm being too nice with this girl. Who's an initiate? I'm getting too close. I can't be seen with her like this. Not yet._

I get up and harden my voice, "I'll walk you back to the dorms then."

I start walking and I hear her get up and run after me. The walk back is silent. We don't speak or anything. When we get there, she turns to me and stands in front of the double doors.

"Again, thank you, Four. I'm extremely grateful."

"You're welcome," I say, not meeting her eyes.

She looks like she's about to hug me, but instead, she murmurs a goodnight and slips inside the room. Honestly, if she had hugged me, I think I might've hugged back.

* * *

Tris(POV)

I wanted to hug him damn it. Why didn't I? He was right there.

Maybe it's better that I didn't. It'd be incredibly inappropriate and probably against some rule. He is the authority figure. That'd just be weird. Maybe after initiation? The thought brings a smile to my face. I know he's holding back from having some kind of relationship with me; friendship or otherwise. But once he's not my instructor, we can be more than we are now.

I know that these thoughts are dangerous, but I need something to distract myself. I still feel his hands on me. I can feel his warm breath against my ear. The things he said, the way he grabbed me, it all takes me back to Marcus. The bastard promised he'd always be in my head and he was right. I hate him for it.

Noticing there are only a couple people in here—all of which are girls—I decide to take a shower. Try to wash away all these feelings. Especially the ones directed at Four.

Are these feelings okay for me to have? Of course I still want Tobias, and I will always love him. A piece of me will always be his. But he'd want me to move on right? If he wanted, he would've found me by now.

The thought is almost a slap to the face. But it's true, isn't it? How hard is it to find an initiate. We're only ever in three places; the training room, the dorms, and the cafeteria. Rarely ever are we anywhere else. It's been weeks, he's had his chance. And even though the thought hurts, maybe he's found something better. I deserve to have something better. I'm not going to deny it anymore.

I want Four.

The revelation brings a large grin to my lips and makes me feel giddy, despite the cold water rolling down my back. I know I've got to be smart about this, though. First off, I need to know him better. I need to understand him. Once I get to really know him, I might not feel the same. Second, I must be careful. Even though I'm completely admitting to myself and accepting the fact that I have feelings for him, I don't want to completely let my guard down. I don't know how I'd handle giving my heart to someone and having them destroy it. Lastly, I have to be positive that these feelings are here to stay. It's possible that this could just hormones talking. He is hella attractive.

Enough of this for tonight. For now, I can't be distracted by anything because of how low on the board I am. I need to be prepared for whatever the hell it is we're doing next. A fear landscape? I have no idea what the could be or what it means.

Suddenly, something other than the cold water makes me shiver. What if Marcus shows up in my fear landscape. They told us it was a type of simulation. If Marcus is apart of my fears—which he is—then that means I'll see him there. Then Four would know who hurt me. No, no, no, no. I don't want him finding out who hurt me. Not from a simulation. If anything it should be from me.

But there's another nightmare I have. The one with my mother.

I turn off the water and dress. Slowly, I make my way to my cot and lay down. My wet hair dampens the stiff pillow, making it cold. I don't know who I will see in my dreams tonight. A man, a woman, a boy. I don't know. Maybe tonight, my dreams will take me to Tobias. Maybe I'll get to say goodbye.

Probably not.

* * *

 **AN: Okay, I am SOOOOOOOOOO sorry for taking forever and a day to update. I feel so bad. But here we are! Now that it's summer, I'll try my best to keep up a constant schedule.**

 **As always, I apologize for any grammatical or spelling errors that I missed.**

 **Please leave a review! I love constructive criticism and suggestions** **(of course you'll get a shout out)**

 **HAPPY WRITING.**


	12. Thrown Back

Tris(POV)

"Freaking out a little, girlie?" Uriah asks from beside me. "Your face looks like hell, by the way."

"Thanks," I say sarcastically while rolling my eyes. "And I'm not worried. Are you?"

"Kinda,"

"I'm sure you'll do fine. It can't be _that_ bad."

"God, I hope not." He says, shaking his head and staring off into space. I'd feel sorry for him if I wasn't more at risk. Not only will my biggest secret be revealed, but my Divergence could show itself. Hell, I could be dead by this time tomorrow.

I suppose, though, death could be better than what's waiting for me on the other side of that door. When they were explaining what the fear landscape was, they completely whitewashed it. Of the nine people who've already gone, three have come back crying, two had severe panic attacks, and the rest have just sat there, staring at the wall in shock. Molly Atwood has done all of the above.

Four isn't calling us in by alphabetical order—which would be nice because I'd know when it's my turn—so we just sit here. Each time he opens the door, we all hold our breaths. Honestly, nobody knows what to expect. When we asked Molly what happened, she only gave jumbled answers. So it's left to my imagination.

The door opens and Four rips a piece of paper away from his clipboard and crumples it in his hand, pocketing it. When he glances up at me, I know that it's my turn. I had a feeling that I was next; there are only four other people in this hallway.

"Tris," Four says, looking away from me almost reluctantly. He flashes the clipboard at us, showing a blank page with my name centered in large letters. I can see from here that beneath the paper is another sheet with my information.

I utter a curse under my breath and push myself up off the floor. Uriah sitting next to me whispers a 'good luck,' and I smile in return.

As I walk into the room, the first thing I notice is the warm glow. It's very well lit with yellow lights that make the room feel cozy despite the cold. In the center of the room stands a chair. Like the one Tori uses for her tattoos. Like the one I sat in when she told me I was Divergent. When she told me I was going to die. _You're going to die. He's going to discover you and you're going to die._ A shiver glides down my back and I suck in sharply. I shake it off, plopping down in the chair with a sudden stiffness. _Oh the irony._

"You look like shit," he says, referring to last night's events.

"So I've been told," I sigh, almost smiling.

Four closes and locks the door as he stares at me. Immediately, his tough persona dissolves and it's just me and the boy from last night. _Just a boy_.

"Are you ready?" The sandpaper grit in his voice gone and replaced with an unfamiliar softness.

I shrug as I plop down into the chair. "Can you really be ready for what you don't know?"

"No, I suppose not," he says, beginning to glance at his clipboard, but I stop him.

"Four?"

"Hmm?" He hums, looking back up at me. Something inside of me shivers.

"I need you to promise me something,"

Four archs an eyebrow, coming closer to me.

I hold my breath, unsure of what to say. "Whatever happens here, swear to me that it stays between us."

"Why?" He asks, dropping his head to the side. "What am I going to see?"

"I've got no idea. That's why I'm asking beforehand."

He sighs and says sarcastically, "Sure, what happens dies with us."

I hold out my pinky, making it a blood oath. _To me at least._

"You can't be serious." He grins, shaking his head while rolling his eyes.

"Dead serious," I reply with a straight face. "I am seriously serious."

He shakes his head and chuckles as he takes my pinky in his. Whatever is going on between us, I like it _._

He rips the first page out and looks down at whatever information is on his clipboard. But something seems to catch his attention. His eyes widen and then he quickly looks between the clipboard and me several times.

When his eyes finally still on me, he speaks in a low tone. "What's your name?"

"Tris?" I say, confused.

"No, you're full name. You're given name."

"Oh. Beatrice Grace Prior." I sigh, reminiscing about my family. I haven't spoken my given name in so long.

"Of Natalie and Andrew Prior? Born October 19th?" He says, not glancing at the clipboard once.

The look he gives me as he says it makes my skin crawl with fear. Like he can't believe what he's hearing. I don't blame him. If he knew what I looked like before Marcus, I don't expect that he'd recognize me now. My long dark brown hair gone and replaced with short golden blonde. My face thin and long, a permanent look of sadness. My body, no longer my own, now mature and grown. _I_ don't even recognize myself.

"Yes, that's correct," I say, watching my hands. It almost physically stings to hear their name.

His mouth falls open and he drops the clipboard down on a nearby cart that happens to have the syringes on it.

"Oh my God," He whispers so quietly I barely hear him say it. He falls against the wall while covering his face with his hands.

"I'm sorry?" _What the hell is going on._

" _Oh my God._ How did I not see it before?" He says even quieter. _Is he having a nervous breakdown?_

I hop up and hurry over to him, curious. "What's going on? Are you okay?"

"Wh—what happened? Why, why do you—?" I grab his wrists, trying to pull his hands from his face.

"Four?" I ask gently.

"Who...who hurt you?"

"Excuse me?" I say, automatically defensive. I still stand in front of him, holding his wrists tightly.

Suddenly, when he drops his hands from his face and sees me there, it's like a switch. He just goes cold again with a face of stone. He's not the boy anymore, he's Four.

"What are you trying to say?" I ask, scared of this new behavior.

"Nothing. It's—um—unimportant. I made a mistake." _Hell of a mistake to nearly pass out for._ His voice betrays him easily, almost cracking.

Four immediately begins telling me the things he's obviously required to. "Sit down. This is a standard procedure that every Dauntless must go through."

Pulling away from my grip, he grabs a syringe from the tray and pushes past me to stand behind a computer beside the chair. He gestures to the chair with the syringe without even looking at me. _Sit._

I glance from the needle up to him and sense a slight weakness in his usually strong and guarded stance.

I relent and sit back down.

"This is a serum that digs through your mind—picks at it—and brings out your worst fears."

"Sounds appealing," I scoff, crossing my arms and staring at my boots.

He simply continues, as if I'd just said nothing. "Usually people have ten to fifteen really bad ones. You'll only see one, maybe two of yours. But it's really unlikely you'll see your worst one." He says this all like he's said it a million times today, but I can feel my heartbeat speed up. My deepest fears? Just right here in a cold chair? "And I'll be able to see what you see right here," he says as he points to the computer.

"Wait, you'll see what I see?" I ask, a breathlessness taking over my voice.

"Hmm mmm," he hums like it's obvious.

"A little up close and personal, isn't it?" _What did you expect?_

He cocks his head a little and looks at me condescendingly. "Why? Is that a problem?"

I harden my face, and say with as much confidence as I can muster, "I guess not,"

I can feel him squint at me, angry.

I jump when I feel the tip of his finger on my neck, moving a stray strand of hair out of the way. When I look back up at him, any anger or frustration that was there is gone. Four doesn't speak, but instead his finger just lingers there before easing the needle into my neck. I don't feel it. I'm too busy staring at him.

"You have sixty seconds," he says. I keep my eyes on him as he turns his back to me and places the syringe on the tray. He stays with his back to me. Then, when a sudden burst of exhaustion hits me, he turns back to look me in the eyes and says just barely, "Be brave,"

* * *

Four (POV)

 _Beatrice?! My Beatrice?_ My mind races so quick that I can't even put a single coherent thought together. But only one stays perched at the front of my mind; Who hurt her?

 _Why is she blonde? Why does she have scars like mine? Why the fuck would anyone do this? What happened?_

Marcus is the only option. It's got to be. Andrew wouldn't dare and Natalie would die before she let that happen. My mind asks so many questions at the same time that it begins to ache.

If anything, I'm just disappointed in myself for not seeing it sooner. She's the only Abnegation here. Of course it was Beatrice. What the hell was I thinking? How could I even for a second think she would come here or at the very least find me and speak to me.

Regardless of my urges, I can't bring myself to watch the computer screen as I pace the front of the room. But the second I hear his voice, I can't seem to get to the computer quick enough. _I was right._

"No! No, stop! I'll listen, I'll behave!" She screams. But he doesn't seem to care. He never did.

As he begins to pull his belt from his loops, he says, "You must learn to mind me, Beatrice. You must learn to do what I ask." Simply hearing him speak is enough to make my back tingle.

I'm seeing everything from her eyes, I can see the dangerous look on his face. Something about seeing that hallway makes me sick to my stomach.

She looks around, looking for something until her eyes land on a big rock a foot from her head. _Where the hell did that come from?_

Suddenly, the entire scene changes and they're outside. They're in our meadow. Tris grabs the rock and chucks it as hard as she can at him. It throws him off enough for her to run away, but he catches her arm. Marcus shoves her against a wall and is inches away from her face. _A wall?_

I get up from my stool, unable to watch anymore. I pace the room again, my hands behind my head, listening to her screaming and crying. Looking over to her, she lay perfectly still.

Calm, despite the crippling fear running through her head.

"You're not real! This isn't real!" I hear her scream.

The words make me go cold. I race back to the screen just in time to see her roughly shove a hand into his chest and see him shatter to the ground, like glass. My eyes widen and I can feel my face go white.

Tris wakes with a jolt, gasping for air. I press a hand to her shoulder in attempt to comfort, but she shoves me away so violently that it makes her fall off the chair screaming, "Don't touch me!"

I back off, trying to pull myself to together as well.

We both breathe heavily, but for very different reasons. Her; a fear that lives in the back of her mind just became real. Me; I just found the girl I've been looking for. _This isn't my Bea anymore. It can't be._

"How long do you think you were in there?" I ask, glaring her down, trying to rid myself of any emotion before I throw up.

With her hands on her head and her body in a ball, I almost don't hear her. "Twenty minutes?"

"Four," I correct. "Five times faster than the average." I look back to the computer screen, then down at the keyboard. "What did you get on your aptitude?" I say still panting, unable to meet her eyes.

"What?" Her voice, breathy and soft.

"Your aptitude. What were your results?"

Her hesitation answers my question. She's never been good at lying. "Abnegation,"

"That's bullshit," I scoff.

"It's the truth," Her voice hardens instantly, no longer shy.

I finally look at her, glaring. "I'm going to ask you one more time, and you _are_ going to be honest. What were your results?"

She almost growls her answer. "Abnegation,"

I clench my teeth, holding back everything I want to say. All I can muster is, "You're done. Get out."

She huffs and stands. But I stop her before she opens the door. "Tris?"

She whips her head back at me, "What?" She snaps. I try not to focus on the tears running down her face or the way her hands shake vigorously. Something in me softens and I have the urge to touch her.

"Neither Abnegation nor Dauntless can break a _person_ like that."

Tris hesitates, looking at me. Minutes pass before she slams the door on her way out. I lean against the wall and begin to slide down to the floor, covering my face with my hands.

There are only two things I'm sure of; that was my Beatrice. And she's Divergent.

* * *

I knock on his door lightly, unsure of what I'm going to say.

"Come in," He says through the door. I walk in to see him sitting at his desk writing vigorously on a piece of paper. He briefly glances up at me and smiles. "Ah, Tobias! Come in, come in. How are you?"

"Uh," I say, sitting down in one of the chairs in front of his desk. "I'm freaking out a little, to be honest."

"Why?" He says, focused on the pile of papers in front of him.

"I—um—I found Beatrice."

His hand abruptly stops and he looks up at me. "What do you mean? She's an initiate. You should've found her the day she came."

"I didn't know it was her!" I argue, slouching in my seat. I've always been comfortable around Max. He has always been good to me.

"How?" Max says, finally giving me his undivided attention.

"Well, for one thing, the hair! Why the hell is she blonde?!"

He shrugs, saying, "Sun? Her mother's hair was a dirty blonde before it darkened."

" _Sun?_ Sun doesn't turn dark brown hair into a golden blonde."

"Okay, sure. The hair color is a little off. But you can't tell me that nothing else wasn't a marker for Beatrice."

I count the things off using my fingers. "Her hair is short, her voice is deeper, she doesn't have the body of a twelve-year-old boy anymore—"

"Woah, woah, woah. Hold on. What do you mean?"

A blush runs over my cheeks. "Don't do that, don't turn this on me. You know what I mean." He cocks an eyebrow at me and sucks in his bottom lip, trying to keep from saying something. I know there is no way that that's threatening, but he found a way to make it so.

"And she's freakishly skinny!" I finish my list, ignoring the violent look he's giving me. "Malnourished, even. Not as bad as when she first came here but—"

"She still looks like her old self." He says, leaning back in his chair.

"What happened Max? Why is she so...sad?" I say, begging.

"That's...that's not my story to tell."

"Max,"

"Tobias, I will not tell you what she should. If she hasn't told you by now, she doesn't want you to know,"

I cringe a little, shifting in my seat. "See, that's the thing. I don't think she recognizes me either."

"How?! You two look the exact same as you did two years ago!"

I huff, "You can't lie to me and say that you instantly knew who she was the first time you saw her."

He opens his mouth to say something but shuts it. _That's what I thought._ "Is the only reason you're here to tell me that Beatrice looks different?"

"No. No, there's something else. But it's huge. And I need you to promise me nothing will happen to her."

He frowns at me and leans his head to the side. "Of course. Tobias, you're worrying me."

"No one can know about this, Max. _No one._ "

"Tobias. What's wrong?"

"The only reason I'm coming to _you_ about this is because I depend on you. You're the only one I can trust with this."

" _Tobias,_ "

I suck in a deep breath, unsure if I should say anything. _It's the only option I have_. Sure, hiding my own Divergence is easy. But her's is so much worse than mine. Not only that, I had Amar to help me. She can't hide this on her own, and I'll need Max's help to keep it hidden. This is for her own good.

"Beatrice is Divergent."

He rests his elbows on the table and touches crisscrossed fingers to his lips. "I had hoped she wasn't," he whispers into his hands. When he looks at me, he sees the curiosity. "Natalie was Divergent." _Was?_ "It must've been passed down to her. Do you know if Caleb could be—?"

"No. I don't. But her fear simulation made me positive. She was completely aware during the simulation that it was just a simulation and she made things shatter, like glass."

"How do you know what the red flags are?" He asks.

"I'm trained to." The lie comes easily.

"You have the experience. You know what to do and what not to do. You can help her." He says, almost hopeful.

"I was going to regardless. But I can't keep her stats hidden from other faction leaders. Erudite especially."

"I can," he concludes. Max nods his head. "So we're in agreement?"

"Keep her safe," I say standing from my seat. He does the same.

Max takes my hand and shakes it, but we both know what we're asking the other to do. Commit treason. Hide a Divergent. Lie to the law. Even though we'd do anything for her, the immediate risk we just placed ourselves under is a lot to handle.

I'm about to walk out the door when I stop myself and look behind me.

"Max?"

"Yes, Tobias?"

"Don't tell her who I am. Please." I plead. "She doesn't know and I think I should be the one to do it."

"Of course," he says softly.

With that, I rush out the door and try to decide how the hell I'm going to do this.

* * *

Tris (POV)

I didn't go straight to the dorms like I was supposed to. Instead, I walk the halls of this compound alone. Speaking to Christina—or anybody—about what I just went through sounds exhausting. I need to learn to help myself.

It felt so _real._ I knew it wasn't, but I still felt so helpless. I could feel where he touched me. It was like I was back there with him. His hands are still on me, imprinted on my skin. I know that no matter how many showers I take, his hands will still stay on my body for many days to come.

I'm Divergent. And I know that Four figured it out. If he goes to Max, what will follow? I'd love to entertain the idea that Max would never hurt me or let anything happen. But shit happens. I'm finally beginning to learn that I can't trust anybody. I can't let my walls down for them. If I'm going o survive here, I must harden myself.

As I get closer to the Pit, more and more people begin to crowd the halls. People glide past me, either returning from a drunken night out at the Pit or heading into one. I slowly make my way through, not bothering to respond to the smiles or hungry looks of the young men around me.

It isn't long before I find myself at the entryway of Tori's tattoo parlor.

The sign reads closed, but the unlocked door says otherwise, so I push forward until I'm in.

I instantly notice Daniel sleeping in a chair, a bottle of scotch tucked into his arms. _Is this guy always here? What the hell._

"We're closed!" I hear from the back room. _Tori._

"Willing to make an exception?" I call back

At the sound of my voice, her head pops out from behind the wall. "Tris? What are you doing here? Don't you guys have simulations today?"

I shrug my shoulders, my hands fiddling with each other. "That's part of the reason why I'm walking around the compound by myself."

"At six in the afternoon? Don't you still have training?"

"What?!" I gasp as I look around for the clock. _I've been walking around for six hours?!_ "Shit," I hiss to myself.

"That bad, huh?" She says, beckoning me to come closer to her.

"Yeah," I murmur to no one but myself, worried about the consequences of skipping training, " _That bad._ "

She plops down on her stool, nodding to the chair beside her before pulling a bottle of beer up to her lips. I sit, trying my best not to blurt out everything to her.

"At least when they come to murder you, it'll be painless." She laughs before taking another swig.

"That is extremely comforting, Tori, thanks." I snap as I get up to leave.

Tori's hand catches my wrist, stopping me. "I'm sorry. I know, I shouldn't make jokes like that. Stay, let's talk or some shit."

"I beg your pardon?" I say, amazed she isn't halfway through kicking me out.

She huffs, mad that I'm making her say it. "Listen, kid, I like you. You lasted a lot longer than I expected, so you have my respect."

I stand flabbergasted.

"Oh, shut up and grab a beer."

"I'm not old enough to drink."

"Stiff," she smirks.

I chuckle. "Once a Stiff, always a Stiff."

We sit in comfortable silence. Neither of us really know what to say—or what to do. I look around at the walls of art, considering another tattoo when Tori breaks the silence.

"What's happened to you?"

"What do you mean?"

She adjusts in her seat, obviously uncomfortable with getting personal. "Everybody's got issues. Problems. History. You wear yours on your back—"

"What?!" I gasp.

"I think that sometimes you just forget for a moment. That's good, but at the same time, it's not."

"So, you've seen...?" I ask, referring to my scars.

"Out the top of your shirt a couple times. It was confirmed when we played Candor or Dauntless."

I laugh humorlessly. "It's a long story that I pray will be erased from memory."

"I've got time," she murmurs, not looking at me but at her beer bottle. After endless minutes of silence, she says abruptly, "Who else are you going to tell?"

I shift in my seat, debating if I should spill my life to this woman. She could use it against me. She could be pretending just to gain more info about Divergents. But if that were true I'd be dead by now. Or will be dead soon anyway.

"What about you? What are your problems?" I say instead of my depressing life story.

"My brother mostly. Dead. Divergent."

"I'm sorry—"

"Save it," she says, holding up her hand. I understand where she's coming from. After a while, hearing the pity from people every time you speak turns exhausting.

"Besides your brother," I murmur, not quite looking in her eyes.

She takes a deep breath, then a long swig. "It was just me and George. My father disappeared, killed or otherwise. My mom was never around, working or doing whatever she could to support us. My brother and I definitely didn't help the situation. We were constantly getting in and out of trouble like you wouldn't believe." She chuckles, thinking back.

Suddenly it's like she's in a trance, reliving everything right in front of me. "Then one night my mom didn't come home. They never found her. There are tons of conspiracies I've heard about how she left to find my father or that she got caught up in the wrong crowd and got herself killed. In every conspiracy, she croaks."

"You don't think she died?" I ask.

"I think she's dead now, otherwise she would've come and found me. She was Erudite, basically a genius."

"So then what happened?"

She scoffs, downing the rest of her drink and getting up to grab another from behind the counter.

"I don't know. All I'm sure of is that she lost herself after my father disappeared. Everyone thinks he died in some mugging. Personally, I think the bastard just left."

It's hard for me to picture my dad ever leaving my mother. They fought, the walls were paper thin, but they loved each other.

"So," I say, almost showing my pity, "what would you do if he tried to come back into your life?"

Tori pops the cap off of her beer and downs it in record time. I watch with my mouth open as a sudden realization crosses my mind. _Tori is an alcoholic._

"Tell him to fuck off and come back with Mom." She then throws the bottle against the wall, shattering it. Glass shards fly, covering the floor. Tori leans against the counter, trying her best not to fall apart.

It's obvious there's a lot of hurt there. A lot of stuff she hasn't dealt with. Even though her voice is collected and void of emotion, her ragged breaths and clenched fists tell me otherwise.

"I'll take that beer now if you're still offering."

I can tell Tori is greatful from the small smile she gives when she looks at me.

From behind the counter, she pulls out a beer for me and what looks like vodka for her.

Tori plops down in her seat and hands me the alcohol.

"Ever had a beer before?" She asks, visibly glad to be off the topic of her history.

"Nope,"

"Then I'm in for a treat." She laughs. Tori uses the cart beside us to pop the cap off and hands it to me.

I look at the beer nervously. "Is this going to get me drunk?"

Tori smiles. "Not unless you're the lightest lightweight in Dauntless. You better chug it, too."

"And if I can't?"

"Then I get to hold it against you for as long as I live."

I grin, accepting the dare. Before I can give it a second thought, I quickly begin to down the beer. I only get about halfway before I start coughing and choking as it burns its way down my throat.

Tori laughs as I spit out the foul tasting drink all over the floor.

"You tried!" She laughs, almost choking on her own drink. Together, we laugh.

I set the halfway gone beer bottle down on the cart beside us.

"I fell in love with a boy when I was 13. Well, actually, I was already in love with him, I just realized it then. But at the same time, I found out that his dad beat him." I say, looking anywhere but at Tori. "He was my best friend. Because our mothers were close, we spent a lot of time together as kids. We got so used to the fact that we were constantly around each other that we never bothered to spend time with anyone else.

"We got into so much trouble as kids and well into our teens."

"Classic love story," Tori says, rolling her eyes.

"His dad never liked me. If anything, that resentment only increased after his wife died. I don't know why; I was maybe only five.

"Later in our teens, I would always sneak into Toby's room to take care of whatever his father did to him. And in all honesty, his father is not stupid. I think he knew I was there."

"Toby?"

 _Shit!_ I curse myself, slapping my hand to my forehead.

"Drink up, maybe you'll forget," I sigh, grabbing the beer and finishing it off.

"...Short for Tobias?" She asks, setting down the vodka bottle.

"Yeah, how'd you know?" I ask, sitting straighter up into my seat. _Does she know Tobias?!_

Agonizing moments pass before she asks another question. "Tobias Eaton?" Her tone almost predatory.

I sink into myself, avoiding her strong gaze. "Yes. Do you know him?"

She's silent as she gets up from her seat and walks towards the back room.

"Where are you going?"

"I've..." she hesitates outside the doorway, searching for the words. "...got to make a call."

"To Tobias? Is he here?!"

Before she can answer me, she hurries into the room and slams the door shut. From here I can hear the 'click' of the lock.

I sit astonished. All this time I've been looking for him, all these days I've been terrified that he got hurt, I might finally get some answers.

Abruptly, I hear Tori beginning to yell. I can't tell what she's saying, but I can decipher the curses when they come. I sit still, scared Tori would gut me if I left, but also scared to get my answers.

Tori then throws something against the wall, and I hear it shatter. _How many bottles does she have around this parlor? Who cleans this up?_

I hear rustling from behind me, then a loud groan. When I turn around, I see the man pushing himself up from his seat. Every time he moves, something pops. I watch as he drops the scotch bottle and curses. He then meets my eyes and freezes.

"Got any drugs?"

I slowly shake my head no, frowning at him.

"Damn," He then begins walking towards the door. It's only now that I notice he's barefoot. Before he heads out, he calls back without even looking behind him. "Tell Tori that Daniel takes his paycheck in cash."

Then he's out the door, hungover and shoeless.

Five minutes of yelling and breaking things pass when Tori swings the door open and walks up to me. I can't quite tell whether she's angry or not. I can never seem to read Tori correctly.

"Um," I say gently, trying not to poke the bear. "Daniel left,"

"Freeloading bastard," she curses to the sky.

"Said he takes his paychecks in cash?" I ask, a hint of a question on my tongue.

Tori doesn't react. She just stands there, arms crossed and brooding.

"Tori, what's happening right now?"

She doesn't answer me.

"Is this where I die?" I ask jokingly. She doesn't laugh.

"Am I allowed to leave?"

"No," she hisses.

I sit still, wondering if I could make it to the door before she catches me.

"Can I at least get a tattoo while I'm here?"

"No time."

"Tori stop—"

I'm interrupted by a pounding on the glass. I don't look back, expecting Daniel back for either drugs or his shoes.

Tori motions him in as I hear the glass door swings open.

"Tris, what the hell?"

My eyes widen at the sound of his voice.

I refuse to look back at him, worried that would make my exile of this faction all the more imminent.

" _Tris,_ " he hisses.

Slowly, I get up. I glance at Tori before calmly turning to look at him. When I do, I nearly faint.

Four stands before me, a sheen of sweat covering what's exposed of his tan body. He wears a black wife-beater and loose black sweats. When my eyes run down the length of him, I can see the band of his boxers. When my eyes run back up, his muscles seem to flex.

My mouth suddenly dry and my face definitely red, I straighten my face and look him in the eyes.

"Yes?" I try my best not to drool over this embodiment of sexy.

"Where the fuck were you. You missed training."

"I know. I'm sorry. I've just been walking around—"

Four scoffs, "For _six hours_?"

I shift. "I know, it's ridiculous. It's just what I saw, it was hard to go back there."

"Beatrice—"

"Please don't call me that," I say, trying not to look anywhere but his face. _His face is as attractive as the rest of him._

He corrects himself. " _Tris,_ I understand that it was hard to see that. But you do understand Eric is furious with you, right? I had to involve Max to keep him from kicking you out."

" _You told Max_?!" I gasp.

Four takes a deep breath before answering. "Not everything,"

Angry, I say, "Then what did you tell him?"

"I told him about your Divergence,"

"What?!" Tori and I shout simultaneously.

"Are you trying to get her killed?!" Tori snaps.

"No, calm down. He's on our side. He's going to help me protect her."

 _How could I even think to doubt him?_

"Wait," I say calmly, "why are you helping me? I appreciate it, of course, but what's in it for you?"

"Why do I have to gain something to do what's right?" He snaps.

"So it's out of obligation, then?"

"No, it's not out of obligation," he hisses.

"Then why—"

Tori pokes my back and leans in close to my ear. "Don't bite the hand that feeds you."

"Beatrice—"

"Four," I snap in a low tone. _Beatrice is dead. She isn't here anymore._

"I'm not expecting anything from you. I'm not expecting to gain anything from this. I'm going to help you, regardless if you believe my intentions or not."

Minutes pass and I find myself conflicted. Everything I've been telling myself, everything I've been forcing into my brain, will be useless if I do this. I want to believe him. My entire being is begging to. But I can't trust anybody here. The fewer people in my circle, the better.

He looks like Tobias. So much. And I want it to be him. I'd like to entertain the idea that it is. But this man isn't him. This man is at least 26. He's far too tall to be him. And Tobias might've been cute, but he wasn't _this._ I know that I would've recognized him if I found him.

"I think it's time you take her to the cafeteria," Tori says, breaking this silence.

"Yeah," Four says, glancing back to her and then to me again.

I look at both of them and then walk out of the parlor.

* * *

Four (POV)

We walk the halls of Dauntless together. With the cafeteria being on the other side of the compound, we have a little bit before we must separate.

"It's okay to let your guard down," I say from behind her. She walks quickly, obviously trying to get away from me.

"It's not." She states simply.

"I'll rephrase," I murmur. "It's okay to let your guard down around _me._ "

She scoffs and stops, almost making me run into her. "What's your angle?" Bea says, flipping around to face me.

"I already told you," I say

"No, I heard you. But I don't believe you. First, you're harsh instructor, then you're protective, then you're kind, then you're not. What the hell is your angle?"

"Why do I have to have an angle?!" I shout. I glance around the hallway, making sure we're alone. We're not.

Tris rolls her eyes. "Everybody has an angle. Everybody _wants_ something. What do you want from me?"

I huff, trying not to lose my temper. "For the last time, I don't want anything."

"Yeah, okay." She says skeptically while turning her back on me and resuming her quick pace.

We walk a little bit more before I grab her arm and swiftly drag her into the control room.

"Four!" She gasps, trying to pull from my grip.

"Don't call me that," I say, closing and locking the door behind us. I do a quick scan of the room, ensuring everybody is out. They all left for lunch and won't be back for a while.

"What do you expect me to call you, then?"

"Anything but that"

"Jackass?"

I glare back at her. Even though her face is still and angry, I can see the hint of a smile on her lips.

I can't help but grin. "No,"

"What if I call you Jack, for short?"

I roll my eyes, but I don't say no. That seems to be enough for her.

"Why'd you pull me in here?"

I take a moment before I answer.

"We need to talk."

* * *

 **Authors Note**

Yeh, so, I've been taking forever! I am so sorry. I had just hit a road block (in life and in my writing) so it took my forever to continue writing. I'm a complete broken record when I say I promise I won't take as long. 6 months is a long time, so I sincerely swear to work as hard as I can to keep my time gaps in updating to a minimum.

Also, sorry if this jumped around too much, I just wanted to give these characters a little more depth.

As always, I'm sorry for any spelling or grammatical errors in this, I tried really hard to get rid of them all.

Please tell me what you thought in the reviews! I love constructive criticism and ideas (ill of course give you a shoutout :))

HAPPY WRITING GUYS!


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